The Old and the New

Exactly a year ago, I made a list of things to do for 2005. Not a resolution list, just something to focus on for the year. Let's see if I made any dent on the list.

X 1. Find a kindergarten teaching job (even if it's across the globe).
X 2. Be the kind of teacher I would want MY teacher to be.
.5 3. Play more with Chewy, his days are numbered.
Note: Chewy died and I felt guilty for not being able to give him more attention when he was dying.
:-) 4. Have more patience, resilience (in teaching, Lola, and for #6).
:-) 5. Go to Palawan (Underground River, Honda Bay, Coron) and dive.
Note: Didn't go to Palawan but went to Banaue, Sagada and Batad. Yey! Palawan will go to the next list then.
:-) 6. Look for True Love (hmmm...).
Note: It just said look for true love. I tried, unsuccessfully but I looked.
X 7. Resolve to be fit, if not lose some fat (to prepare for more strenuous activities).
Note: a big bad X!
.5 8. Stay pretty, always (do not go out looking frumpy).
Note: I admit, there are some days of freakishly frumpy looking Elaine out there.
.5 9. Take care of skin (facials & lotions), hair (relaxed) and feet (foot spas).
Note: hmm, half and half....right now, my feet looks ugly.
.5 10. Be updated in movies, music and the current events.
Note: I'm updated in movies, not in music and current events.
:-) 11. Fly to somewhere exotic but out of the country, like Phnom Penh or Vientienne.
Note: Singapore and Malaysia! yey!
:-) 12. Save some, even if it's only for travels.
:-) 13. Try not to be too depressed at turning 29. (Gah! How can I not be?!?)
Note: I tried, I really did.
X 14. Go to Batanes, even if it takes one day to get there. (via land transport...tee hee.)
:-) 15. Wait patiently for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in July, Bob Ong's new book whenever, and read more books aside from bestsellers.
:-) 16. Don't forget to go out with old friends.
X 17. Do take inventory of clothes, shoes and bags before buying another.
X 18. Help initiate take off of Mom's (family) business.
Note: I think they didn't need my help. :D
X 19. Keep room tidy as I can make it.
Note: Another big bad X!
X 20. Take care of Mad Max.
Note: 3 big scratches, and lost plates do not mean taking care of Mad Max. Sheesh. I will try to do better next time.
:-) 21. Regular breast check up every 6 months. (March, September)
.5 22. Daydream less, go out more.
Note: I can't help but dream of a Brian/ Gale coming into my life.
:-) 23. Don't judge a book by its cover. (Or, at least I'll try not to ask for pictures...)
Note: I judge after I read the book. Hehe.
:-) 24. Avoid loneliness-, desperation-inducing thoughts.
Note: Although I admit, there are times that I wallow in those.
X 25. Volunteer.
Note: I'm so ashamed. Need to plan less and act more.

13 out of 25. Not bad.

Here's my new list.

1. Seriously, finish the practicum and finish the course. (I need to remind myself of that!)
2. Go out and find a job.
3. Go out and date and meet new people, meet new friends.
4. Don't forget to keep in touch with old friends.
5. Travel list: Palawan, Batanes
6. Overseas: Thailand/ Cambodia
7. Volunteer.
8. Exercise. Lose Weight.
9. Meet the big Three Oh with a bing BANG!
10. Take care of self and Mad Max, and avoid depression like the plague.

See what I did there? I cut the list, and just made it ten. So I can get higher success rates. :D

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Tortured Soul

Unearthed one of my very very old YM mags and in it, there's a quiz called Guy Search, Find your Destiny Dude. (Haha, how lame! And I used to live for this kind of shit!) And I still remember the results of my quiz.

---
Quit checking out every guy who breathes. Instead, take this quiz to zero in on your perfect love match -- and find out which celebs fit the bill. Then maximize your male-meeting potential and GO GET THAT GUY.

(That's the intro for the quiz...yeah right, like I'm going to find someone like these celebs)

The possible results then can be divided into:

Clean Cut Cutie - He's so down to earth, he wouldn't know how to play head games if he wanted to.
Fierce Flirt - He's the finest guy at school.
Nature Lover - He craves the simple things in life: the outdoors, fresh air, sunshine and love.
Major Mushball - He makes you feel like the hottest girl on earth.
Rad Rebel - He seizes each moment -- and then dares you to come along for the ride.

But mine...my perfect match (or so the quiz says) is Ethan Hawke, the Tortured Soul.

Why you can't resist him: Macho is not in his vocabulary. And he always says what's on his mind.
(Hah, now I know why I used to think this magazine speaks Gospel truth.)

His look: Hair in his eyes, hands in his pockets, shoulders slightly slouched.
(Sheesh, I can just imagine that hair!)

His attitude: Smart and shy, with a hint of insecurity.
(Smart and shy? Come out, come out, wherever you are!)

Boyfriend potential: 9, When he falls, he falls hard.
(My kind of guy)

Total turn-on: A girl who is as honest and open with him as he is with her.

Total turnoff: Someone who worries too much about what other people think.

Ideal love match: A girl who can cope with his hours of brooding, guitar-playing and philosophizing.
(We can analyze life and love anytime, or all the time.)

Social style: He isn't big on crowds or the party scene, so expect to spend a lot of time alone together.
(Who doesn't like a LOT of alone time together?)

Prize possession: His copy of The Catcher in the Rye.
(Can this quiz be any more accurate? The Catcher in the Rye, my all time fave book.)

How he shows his love: By composing sonnets, short stories and songs for you.
(Sonnets are a little too cheesy for me, but he can write all the stories and songs he want. I'll gladly lap them up.)

Wee! I feel like a teenager waiting for her Tortured Soul Prince to come and sweep me off my feet. Alas, the reality is, I've met guys who look like they've been tortured and most haven't read a single word of The Catcher in the Rye. Geez, I've been searching high and low, and been waiting a long time, I'm becoming a shrew. And I need to be as sweet as Juliet, if I were to capture a Tortured Soul.

Where O where art thou, my Romeo?

Dr. House

I love House. And this might raised a few eyebrows, but I have a big crush on House himself. Yes, old, grumpy, but brilliant man. Yey! Medical mystery at its best.

So instead of going on and on about House, here's what I got from the net.

CAST

Hugh Laurie....Dr. Gregory House
Lisa Edelstein....Dr. Lisa Cuddy
Omar Epps....Dr. Eric Foreman
Robert Sean Leonard....Dr. James Wilson
Jennifer Morrison....Dr. Allison Cameron
Jesse Spencer....Dr. Robert Chase

QUOTES

Dr. Gregory House: I suppose "minimally at best" is your stiff upper lip British way of saying "No chance in hell"?
Dr. Robert Chase: Actually, I'm Australian.
Dr. Gregory House: You put the Queen on your money. You're British.

***

Dr. Wilson: You really don't need to know everything about everybody.
Dr. Gregory House: I don't *need* to watch The O.C., but it makes me happy.

***

Chris Dewey: [trying to tell an uninterested House a patient's history] You're reading a comic book.
Dr. Gregory House: And you're drawing attention to your bosom by wearing a low-cut top. [she covers her chest with her clipboard] Oh, I'm sorry, I thought we were having a "state-the-obvious" contest. I'm competitive by nature.

***

Dr. Robert Chase: You two are just too nasty to each other not to have been... nasty.
Dr. Gregory House: Hey, I can be a jerk to people I haven't slept with. I am that good.

***

Dr. Gregory House: Good lord, are you having a bowel movement or a baby?

***

Dr. Gregory House: You didn't have to. People choose the paths that gain them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort. That's a law of nature, and you defied it. That's why I hired you. You could've married rich, you could've been a model, you could've just shown up and people would've given you stuff - lots of stuff - but you didn't. You worked your stunning little ass off.

***

Dr. Gregory House: Ah! The husband described her as being unusually irritating recently.

Dr. Cameron: And?

Dr. Gregory House: I didn't realize it was possible for a woman to be 'unusually' irritable.

***

Dr. Cameron: I'm uncomfortable about sex.

Dr. Robert Chase: Well, we don't have to talk about this...

Dr. Cameron: Sex COULD kill you. Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you're lifting three times your body weight. It's violent. It's ugly. And it's messy. And if God hadn't made it UNBELIEVABLY fun, the human race would have died out eons ago. [She pauses to catch her breath]

Dr. Robert Chase: [He is speechless]

Dr. Cameron: Men are lucky they can only have one orgasm. Know that women can have an hour long orgasm?

Dr. Eric Foreman: [enters]

Dr. Cameron: [as if nothing had just occurred] Hey Foreman. What's up?

*Source : IMDB

Getting Tired

I'm tired of being afraid of things to come, things that might happen, and all the self-pity those events might bring. Geesh.

I'm stressing over the fact that it's only a few more days till my relatives can sharpen their knives by asking me why am I the only single one left among my cousins and siblings. I'm stressing over the coming month. I'm stressing over the coming year.

And on top of that, I'm lonely, desperately lonely, sometimes. When I stress about it. And around Christmas time, I'm stressing much more than usual.

Gah. This is a vicious cycle.

I have to stop.

I can't help it.

Scrooged

Sigh.

I cannot help but long for the Pinoy Christmases of old. The one where everywhere you look, there are bright twinkling lights on every home windows and walls, and some expensive lantern as the centerpiece. You can hear then loud Christmas songs, and even after you've left the mall, you can hear it echoing in your ears, for it really feels like Christmas.

Oh well. Difficult times. But I was hoping that children may get to experience the kind of Christmas I grew up in. Where I can practically smell Christmas in the air, hear it echo with every step, see it every where you go, and feel it in every good deed that we Filipinos seem to do, just because it's Christmas.

Alas, I'm well turning into Scrooge.

I feel like sneering instead of breaking into a Christmas Cheer. I'm frowning at basic traditional Pinoy Christmas routines like young children singing Christmas carols off key, shaking their tansan-made musical instrument. I grit my teeth trying to swim among the hordes of people in 168. I'm so lazy wrapping my gifts. And if I can get out of family reunions and weddings, I would. (And I hate that I am wasting two days of my two week vacation running to LTO because of f-cking people who stole my car plates!)

There's really something lacking. Something not-quite so festive, this Christmas. I guess I need to think of what it should really mean to me. And to everybody.

That it's not puto bungbong, lights, sounds, and gifts that make up Christmas.

It should be giving thanks, giving back, and remembering Him.

And I'd better stop being a Scrooge.

Happenings

Just because I haven't written for quite some time doesn't mean nothing's happening in my life. Actually, there's quite a lot.

I still have to tell about my Banaue/Sagada/Batad trip, and haven't posted any pics from any of my trips. And I haven't talked about my new students, all special children, if they can still be called children (some are already in their mid-20s) and how's that part of my life going.

Mad Max is another topic. He's one reason why I often wish I still have my old job, and that I didn't give it up for the dream of teaching. I can't necessarily take care of him properly without having a proper job. And he needs taking care of. He needs washing regularly, check up was way past due, aircon needs cleaning, rustproofing needs to be re-done, and of course, since his plates just got stolen (my fault for parking in obscure, unsafe places!) I need to get him new ones, which as I know of our own government institutions, will be a long time coming.

So. Me and Mad Max, we're both desolate and lonely and couldn't go out. What a way to spend our vacation.

Oh well.

I need to get past looking at the negatives. On the positive side, I can get up later now, no classes in the morning and the real work are still two weeks into the future. I get to have two weeks Christmas celebration, albeit without Mad Max, but of course, I can make do.

I don't want to attend any weddings, and there are two coming up. I'll be asked where my partner is, and since said boyfriend (love of life) is non-existent, I think I'll pass and lick my wounds in private.

I'm dreading the Christmas tradition of seeing your relatives and having them parade their good fortune in life, and rubbing it on your face that they have it good and that your life sucks in a party called Family reunion. Gah. I guess I'll cross that scary bridge on Christmas Day. (I'll be asked again why I'm the only single one left - in my age bracket, each and every one of my siblings and cousins have gone off and gotten married and had children - and magpapayat kasi ako para magka boyfriend. Sheesh.)

Okay, I thought I'm going to start on the good things since this is Christmas and no one wants to be called a Scrooge. Oh well, I just keep getting sidetracked by all those negative things.

So...here's what I like about Christmas.

Chilly air. Bright red and green and gold decors. Christmas Trees. Candy cane decors. Christmas parties without nosy relatives. Puto Bungbong and bibingka. Excuse to eat and not diet. Buying of gifts, shopping with excuses. Christmas lights. Christmas wishes. One big, great birthday party. Advent prayers.

Jesus Christ.

(If I won't be asked why I'm still single in the upcoming Christmas family reunion -- Christmas would be happy. So I'll tell you then, if it turns out to be fine after all.)

(If I am in love and with the love of my life, maybe next Christmas? Then, Christmas would be perfect. Hmm...I'll stop this wishful thinking and get on with life.)

Wishlist Xmas 2005

So of course this wishlist is kind of late and of course my wishes for the coming year...2006. I have issues on the coming year, just because it envelopes the month of my birthday when I will turn 30. It's there. I can't stop the clock and I can't ignore it because it's not going to go away. I can only make full use of my time before that happens. (I have to get away, I tell you!)

And here's my Wishlist...

10. Black boots

Pang-porma, paired with white long sleeved polo and well-worn jeans.

9. Power suit

Complete with blazer, white polo and slacks that fit perfectly. My power suits from the good old time doesn't fit anymore. And I might have no use for this as a teacher, but I should have one power suit at my disposal just in case of that big interview.

8. Cellphone

Even if it's second-hand, as long as it has a colored screen and can take pictures. I'm kind of feeling out of place with my phone that only one that can't send/take pictures or has the green screen.

7. Postcards

Postcards of places I don't have yet in my collection.

6. Straightened Hair

I need to have my hair straightened again. Or relaxed. I know, vanity. So sue me.

5. Polo blouses and black slacks

Yes, the teacher-kind. Or the corporate-worthy kind. I don't like the flowery teacher-kind, more like the corporate-kind with solid colors and solid lines. I'm going to use it for the 2 months of practicum.

4. Trip to Batanes or Palawan

After the practicum? I want to go straight to Palawan or Batanes (if the weather permits), just to unwind, and make a dent to my Life List.

3. Steady date

I just want to have a steady date. Someone that I am well past the awkward small talks, the introduction, etc. etc. Just someone I can hang out with. A guy friend with benefits?

2. Work abroad

Singapore will be perfect. US will be hard work but worth it. New Zealand and Australia also on the list. I really wish/pray I'll get to go. Someday. Next year. Or sometime when I'm 30.

1. True Love

My very own Brian Kinney (Gale Harold look-alike, sweet, bad boy, sarcastic, funny, and smart and successful...gah!) under our Christmas tree with a tag that says For Elaine. Maybe finally, this is the Christmas, the year He will, at last, give me what I've always wished for.

So that's it.

I don't want to post this because people won't get gift ideas from this list anyway, but come to think of it, that's a better reason to post it now.

Happy Christmas Shopping!

Not Like Any Other Love

I didn’t know it then. It was almost Christmas when my Mom brought me to the pet store to pick a puppy for my sister Lorraine. She told me to choose one of the two Maltese playing in the cage. I picked the one who looked at me mischievously. I didn’t know it then. It was love at first sight.

He was my sister’s dog. But he was mine in every aspect except ownership. Mine to love, and he loves me. I spoiled him rotten. He looks at me with that patented lost puppy look and I will always cave in. Whatever he wants. If he wants to sleep on my bed, I let him. If he wants to eat a dozen chocolates, I give him Kisses. We brought him whenever there’s a family outing if my mom grumbled at me the whole time for bringing the dog, I just couldn’t leave him alone at home.

Truth be told, he was a lot of my firsts. I slept with on my bed. I kissed. French. First love. And I couldn’t choose a better candidate for my first love. I guess he ruined every guy after because none of them can love better than him.

He loved me unconditionally. Not expecting much, just little pats of affection, a hug every now and then, a kiss once in a while. And still, loyal to a fault. Waiting for me to come home every day. Knows my footsteps, my voice, and my touch. I guess we humans don’t love like that. Giving our whole life to one person, without conditions, without expecting much.

It got ugly during his last years. I am ashamed to admit that I didn’t hug him that much, just glanced at him every now and then. Because I can’t stand to look at him die right before our eyes. I hope he’ll understand, wherever he is. I didn’t love him less, just because he got old. I just … couldn’t accept it. Probably distancing myself. I don’t know. I’m just probably making excuses. But I didn’t love him less. That much I know.

So I know now it’s true. True love? It really lasts a lifetime. I love Chewy, and I will probably not love another dog as much as I love him.

*Chewy passed away this morning, December 4, 2005, at the age of 16 human years. I prayed, and prayed that dogs really do go to heaven. I'll stop crying now.

A Girl's Best Friend

I can't help but face this now... our dog, Chewy, is probably dying. He curls up in a corner now, blind, rattled, weak and deaf and just lifts up his head to drink and to eat a few measly bites of his meal.

I don't want to write yet about what Chewy means to me. I'm just saddened by the fact that at his last moments, I don't even have the courage to hug him and to pet him and care for him. I can only stand there in front of him and whisper soothing but useless words of comfort, trying to alleviate some unknown fears he might be having of what's happening to him.

I don't want to write yet, because I'll never be ready to say goodbye to a faithful friend. Someone who loves me unconditionally, even if it means fighting till the end because that how I would want him to go.

I'll never be ready but if it's time, I don't want him to suffer a moment longer.

I'll say goodbye then.

The World of Magic and Its Hero

I cannot NOT do a review today, since I watched Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire twice yesterday. Once, in Glorietta with my family during the first screening around lunch time, and the second time with Liza at SM City. So, I can't complain really, I love seeing it twice. I might have to drag another friend to see it again.

I really liked this movie. The problem with being a Potter fan is that I am so in love with the story and the book and the characters in the book that it's hard not to complain about the movie version. The first two ones, (Chris Columbus really sucks as Director of the second movie) are cheesy and like fairy tales version of JK Rowling's bestselling book. I cringed when everybody stood up and clapped their hands to Hagrid near the end of Chamber of Secrets. Eww.

The third one was definitely an improvement. Cuaron gave us the real view of the Magical World without making it look dreamy and romantic eventhough there's a Dark Lord lurking in there. But Cuaron is a bit melodramatic and is very fond of wide-shots and I don't like of me not getting a Daniel Radcliffe close up anywhere in the entire Prisoner of Azkaban movie.

Now, this fourth movie installment, is just right. It mixes up the right ingredients - a VERY good script, all the important scenes are there, wide-shots, and close-ups, with a steady stream of good humor (that is really part and parcel of JK Rowling's Harry Potter books) thrown in. It is just right, and that makes it, by far, the best in this series of movies.

And I like that Harry was in fact the Hero, with all of the conflicts and tribulations that heroes often have in their lives. The sneering, the jeering of the crowd, and the choice between doing what's right (saving Cedric, although the Cup is just a stone's throw away) and what's easy.

I love Harry Potter the book. I love Harry in those books. JK Rowling created a whole new world for dreamers like me. But for the first time in how many years, I can now say that I love the movie. My hat's off to the actors (who are getting better as they get older, although Emma is still a little overacting) Mike Newell and the Production team (especially the scriptwriters!). They did a really good job on this.


*By the way, you all get to see what a Pensieve looks like, and it doesn't look like -this- Pensieve. Tee hee. That Pensieve gives a whole new meaning to 'keeping memories'.
**And I got another surprise yesterday. Liza gave me the Love Actually soundtrack. Yahoo! I can now drown myself listening to Beach Boys' God Only Knows.

Music from the Past

I keep putting off things I have to do for days, like arranging stuff in my room which are haphazardly cluttered on my floor, or arranging the photos in the album, or taking care of my letters to schools I want to do my practicum, but no, I'm constantly online, reading Brian fiction or on my bed, singing and listening to old songs.

I love my sister's wedding cds these days. Listening to "All You Need Is Love" of the Beatles, makes me think of Love Actually. (I'm now pestering my sister to download the songs "Love is All Around" and "God Only Knows" to complete my Love Actually repertoire.) Then, "At Last" and "Beyond the Sea" if that's the title of that song from Finding Nemo.

And last night, I keep singing "Flower Girl" out loud, reminds me of movies where they show kids playing on flower beds.

There are, of course, my host of favorite old love songs. "Somebody Warm Like Me", "Cherish" and the songs I mentioned above. I'm now looking for the lyrics of "God Only Knows" so I can post it below:

God Only Knows
Beach Boys

I may not always love you
But long as there are stars above you
You never need to doubt it
I’ll make you so sure about it
God only knows what I’d be without you
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
If you should ever leave me
Well life would still go on believe me
The world could show nothing to me
So what good would living do me
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows what I’d be without you
God only knows
God only knows what I’d be without you

*The last scene in Love Actually was Heathrow Airport, showing "Love" all around, with people hugging and kissing each other, while the song keeps repeating "God only knows what I'd be without..." and I love it. Gives me all those warm, fuzzy, happy feeling I seldom get really.

Life List

Since I was sixteen or seventeen, I've already made dozens of Life List that well, consists of things I dream of doing in my life and achieving and getting and learning. Well, a decade had passed and I'm nowhere near close to checking at least half of it.

As Pare and I asininely talked about on the drive to Tagaytay, our great adventure of Life does not have to begin when we get married to our great loves or have a family or when we're 30. Who made up these rules anyway, so why not begin now when I'm 29 and I know better and can list grandiose dreams and reach-for-the-stars life goals? Well, why not? I'm dreaming of things to do in the future, why do it halfway?

So here's my 100 Things Must-Do List - A Life List.

(I'll post another 100 things on next entry because it's different, yet part of this one. Does that make sense? In my convoluted and warped sense of logic, it does.)

Work in a foreign country (dream: New York!!)
Volunteer
Learn pole-dancing or erotic dancing
Ride an elephant in Thailand
Ride a camel in Egypt to see the Great Pyramids
Go on an African Safari
Ride a boat through the Amazon
Go on a Zodiac ride to Antarctica and see the penguins
Hot, public French Kiss in any country
Snorkel/ Dive in the Great Barrier Reef
Try to experience multiple orgasm or have Tantric Sex
Own a business, even a small one and be my own boss
Own a car, drive it to freedom
Learn a foreign language (French or Spanish) and use it
Bungee Jumping and/or Skydiving
Trek the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu
Whale watching in Australia/New Zealand
Tubing in New Zealand
Open sea diving in the Red Sea
Learn how to play an instrument (violin or guitar)
Watch the Northern Lights
Drive in the Autobahn
Own a house/ condo
Drive right-hand in London
Ride the London Underground
Attend an Olympic event
Be an extra in a film/movie
Make love in a public place (and not get caught)
Be an audience in a TV show
Plant a tree and nourish it
Learn how to cook or bake
Ride the Trans-Siberian Express
Write a book and try to get it published
Dance / Sing under the Rain
Attend the Mardi Gras (if there will still be any)
Shower under a waterfall
Sleep under the stars
Earn a Master’s Degree
Attend the Carnaval in Rio
Raft through the Grand Canyon
Watch a play in Broadway in New York
Take an English Literature Course
Earn an open sea diving certificate
Wear a 2pc bikini on a beach and be proud of it
Kiss a stranger
Sail the Mekong River, Laos
Ride a hot-air balloon (pref. In Burgundy, France)
Gamble in Vegas
Take a pilgrimage through the Holy Land
Run a Marathon
Go on a trip to the Sahara Desert
Overcome another fear. And then, another.
Ride the helicopter over a great city
Ride a boat through the Underground River
Ride a jeep through the Serengeti
Ride the gondola through the Grand Canal
Sail through the Caribbean
Camp out in the wilderness
Drink beer in Germany’s Oktoberfest
Take a cruise and forget everything else
Attend the Salzburg Festival
Kiss the Blarney Stone
Attend the Maastricht European Fine Art Fair
Watch an Opera in La Scala Opera House
Walk to the inner Ifugao villages in Banaue Terraces
Indulge, and buy, authentic Swiss chocolate
Taste German Sausages in Germany, or Hungarian Sausage in Hungary
Play in Santa’s Village in Lapland, Finland
Check in The Ice Hotel, Sweden
Buy lamp and carpet in Morocco or Egypt
Experience weightlessness
Lounge under an umbrella in a beach in Zanzibar
Bob in The Dead Sea
Listen to classical music in Vienna
Talk casually to someone famous (Hollywood actor, celebrity, sports legend)
Take a tourist trip to Mecca, Saudi Arabia
Eat Chinese food in China
Horseback riding in Mongolia
Treat someone to an erotic massage
Kiss a lover in front of the Taj Mahal
Meet the Pope
Meet a famous author (JK Rowling, Neil Gaiman, Paulo Coelho)
Buy rugs in a bazaar in Istanbul, Turkey
Lie back for a Thai Massage, Thailand
Teach a class, a course
BE a mentor to someone
Take the boat trip to Niagara Falls
Road trip to Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte from Manila
Have my portrait done
Learn self-defense or martial arts
Take a sleigh ride
Swim with a dolphin
Memorize famous quotes and insert it in conversations
Go skinny-dipping
Win a contest/competition
Have a baby
Go rapelling
Have and raise my own family
Fall passionately and madly in love with someone who loves books, travels, art, and food as much as I do
Marry my True Love

Gah. This list is not in any order or form, so I pray that last one will not actually BE the last one.

It's another To Do List

There are some things on my mind that I've been meaning to do:

1. Make a scrapbook of my 29th year. The year that I promised myself will be different from all the others. I still don't know what I mean, I just wanted it to be different. (Wee! It started with the Singapore, Malaysia trip and going on a road trip with my friends. So I guess it's already different.)

2. Today, I told myself to start reading on my back-log books. Starting with the book that we got from Uncle in Backpackers Hostel in Singapore, Paulo Coelho's The Devil and Ms. Prym. Next, I wanted to read my newly bought book, Neil Gaiman's Smoke and Mirrors. I said I won't be tempted to watch Brian in action in QAF or turn on my PC and surf. Alas, I have only read 3 pages so far of Smoke and Mirrors (it was promising to be another wonderful Gaiman experience, even if it's only 3 pages) when Gale Harold (more tempting than a Gaiman masterpiece) beckons me to watch him again, and I turned on my PC after watching.

3. Re-construct my Life List. The list of things I want to do, to have, to experience, to visit, to learn, to read and everything else, in my Life. It needs some finetuning and I need reminding.

4. Make a travel journal. I think online journals are good, blogger is the best, but I like to post some of the tickets, and other stuff you get from travelling. Not that I'll be travelling much more anytime soon (maybe when I'm 35 or something -- with the debt I've acquired recently) but you know, I like a travel journal, just in case. And there's always hope that I can travel next year to some amazing places in the Philippines. Let me check my Life List first.

5. Must make new mantras soon! Very soon! Something along the lines of "Will not settle! Will not settle! and Don't strangle relatives when they keep bugging you about being single at almost 30.

6. Mundane stuff: get 2 public SPED school names, and 2 private SPED school names for my 200 hours practicum.

7. Search the internet and ask around if I can find a job in Singapore, with only 2 semesters of practicum as experience.

Whew. I'd better get back to surfing. Tee hee. And then, read some fanfiction, and then watch some more Brian Kinney, and then get my afternoon nap (my days with afternoon naps are numbered as practicum semester is coming!), and later on tonight, read Smoke and Mirrors. Gaiman is best read at night, anyway, when dreams, fantasies and realities all come together.

So....catch you later.

The Reason Behind Journals

I'm reading an unconventional fanfiction that's like Gryffin and Sabine only the author did not use letters, but journals, or diaries, to be a little more girly. And it just occurred to me that in my 29 years, I had never, ever managed to keep a journal. I tried, like 12 times or so, and then, after 6 or so entries, I'm done. I can't even write decently (my handwriting go from good to worse in 6 entries) on it and I can't construct grammatically correct sentences. Well, what the heck,right, it's my journal and I'm the only one who gets to read it.

Oh well, now I'm wishing I have a beautiful travel journal to keep track of my photographs (which I'm wishing I have been steadily shooting), places I've been to, good restaurants, how much it costs (this is quite important), what to eat, where to go, and how to get to places. And all the other exciting times of my life (which is non-existent, maybe that's why I haven't been able to keep a journal, nothing really to write down).

I saw a travel journal in Powerbooks a long time ago, but it was 800+ pesos so no way. It has leather bindings, has a space at the top for date, lines for what you wanted to say, bottom left, it has a space for the ff:

Restaurants: ____________________
Food: __________________________
Comments: _____________________
_______________________________

And at the bottom right, there's just a big square for a space for photograph. Travel journal made easy. I think I'm going to make my own...Gah, I'll tell you all about it if I'm successful, I can't even manage to attend to and do all my school requirements, now I wanted to make my own travel journal.

If I have a journal, I'll write one of the worst blind dates in history. Last Friday night, it finally happened to me. I was quite lucky in dates, I almost always managed to get past the horrific expectations, and into at least civil, though sometimes boring conversations, to at most, having a great time. But last Friday, I went into this date with someone who my cousin introduced me to. He seems a decent enough guy, when we were exchanging texts messages, although there are already warning bells in my head for some of his remarks and replies, but I, desperate old maid that I am, ignored them, and brushed them aside. Sheesh, I'm never going to ignore my intuitions again. This guy turns out to be an arrogant creep. Keeps asking me to go to Tagaytay with him, using my car!

Thank you but no. (What kind of a jerk asks a girl out, keeps persuading her to go out of town, using her car and she will drive?!? Sometimes, the severity of the stupidity and the amount of gall some guys have can still leave me at a loss for words. Ang kapal talaga. No other words for it.) I've heard of horror blind date stories, and I'm not quite relieved that now I can make a contribution.

Just a tip to all the guys: You do not drink before a date, because for one, we girls can smell the alcohol on you a mile away, number two, you slur when you talk, and number three, it does not gives you additional courage to face your blind date, it only makes you look stupid and inconsiderate. Second tip: You do not ask a girl out to a faraway place, and tell her she has to drive and bring her car.

Grrrr....and this guy has the nerve to act like it's all my fault that the date went straight to hell because I couldn't give in to what he wants.

Glad Liza went on a blind date last night and it was great. The guy was polite, and kind and considerate, and just pushing it a little, trying to get lucky on a first date, all what a guy's supposed to be doing. Those things I can handle. Creeps and jerks who thinks they're doing all the right things when they are horrible, those I can live my life not knowing they existed.

Of course, I can't help but lecture Liza a bit for drinking too much on a first date alone with a blind date. So not the safe thing to do. One lesson in UP that I learned, girls should only get drunk with friends, guy friends and people who you trust. The golden rule my drunk dormmates pounded into our naive college girl brains. And my guy friends said that guys, no matter how nice they appear to be, will always try. It's up to us girls to make the rules. You don't want to end up with your naked picture spread around the internet the next day without knowing what happened, right? Next time, I'll try not to lecture a friend though. Just can't help it when I'm concerned, though.

Talked to my friend, Hedda, early evening last night too. I'm glad she told me her stories, as I've been feeling a little out of touch with my Kodak friends. Her, and Sarah, Stephen, and Yayin, and Joanne. I made a mistake telling her that I get tired just hearing her stories. What I mean to say is that if I were her, I'd probably asked and wrote God some lengthy notes bearing questions about what lessons to be gained from these experiences, because I need to learn them fast so no need to throw them to me one more time. I didn't mean to sound like an inconsiderate friend, who doesn't want to listen, when I really am glad of her telling me all these. Geez, sometimes, my mouth gets so far ahead of me that I can barely recognize what comes out of it sometimes.

Anyway, Liza's date gives me hope. That there are still guys out there who knows what to do. Actually, who can be a decent human being. And Hedda's story gave me caution, and just like her, I think I won't settle for anything less, however much they tell us that we should not be picky at this age.

I think I should make a journal. That's a lot to write about...

Road Trip 2

So another road trip with Pare and Liza, this time. I was itching to get in touch with my photography again, as I've been meaning to do for sometime, ever since I met Ayeen and her digital SLR. I don't have a digital SLR, I still have my Nikon SLR from way back and he's been stuck in my drawer since the onslaught of digicams.

I missed taking great pictures, and during the road trip to Tagaytay, I was asking Pare to help me get back in shape. I mostly shoot wide frame, and landscapes before, but I wanted to try close ups with compositions. I sucked.

So I need to practice more. I need to show something extraordinary out of ordinary things. Different angles and point of views of boring old stuff...

Maybe I still can.

Looking Back at B

I haven't done any blog or entry about him, but I've told my friends about him and described him and gushed and told them he wasn't anything special. Well, he really isn't. But he's memorable and after talking about nonsense stuff for so long, at least I can dedicate one page of this blog to him.

One year and 4 days ago, he made my life a little bit special and a little bit exciting.

When I was talking to him over the phone, I can picture him in my head -- smouldering looks, sexy voice, tall -- maybe 6ft tall--, lean not muscular or bulky, just as I like it, and has a good sense of humor, fun and excitement.

I don't know enough about him to write several pages long of description about him, but here's what I know...

He isn't gorgeous, like what came across to my friends hearing about him from me. He isn't really. He's tall, lean (just like I imagined) and his face is...good looking, but not gorgeous. He's dark (so can we say tall, dark and handsome?) and his hair is short and sticking out in a nice way. He doesn't dress in designer labels, and from the outside, he looks like a regular office worker, dressed in short-sleeved polo shirt (blue) and jeans, with his backpack of clothes and whatever resting at his back.

Not much to look at, I didn't know much about his personality, but there's something about him that is sexy and exciting, I guess that made it all worthwhile. I'll try not to be too detailed about this as I don't know who's reading my blog (I know my sister reads this so I'd better be careful) ...but here's why I can still longingly look back at an incident of a year ago...

He was amazing.

Tall, dark and sexy and he wanted me. His naked chest seemed to go on forever, like you knew about this place here, and you explored another area and then, you go further down, seeing those beautiful, compact abdominals, and still it goes on. That's when I decided I really like tall men, especially those who have long long limbs because it means that that chest will be long and lean like his. So I worshipped that chest a little. I couldn't help it.

(I've also decided that I love men who wear their jeans low, where the jeans just resting on their hip and you can see that curve of hipbone with the trail of little hair at the middle like a damn straight line to --- well, heaven or hell, you decide)

Okay, so I'll repeat, he's amazing.

I also saw his back. Tanned, and just like his chest, seemed to go on and on, ending on that pretty butt. And the legs....oh yes, the long, long legs. I can understand why some men are leg-crazy, because I can't decide if I'm shoulder-crazy, or leg-crazy myself. There's something about looking at a guy with long, long legs. (not to mention strong arms...) I think it's tall, sexy men in general. They just put my mind in the gutter, turning it all dirty with thoughts of what those legs, those arms, those hands can do to a woman. Not to mention the length. All about the length, and what other body parts have impressive length.

I'd stop myself right now, and tell you why I thought I can write this now. Well, perhaps because I'm crazy about Gale Harold or Brian Kinney (whichever) and he epitomizes sex appeal and he's like everything I've wanted, or ever wanted. Tall, (gah, the lean, lean body, and those smouldering hazel eyes...) gorgeous and sexy, I couldn't help but dream, and think that I can watch and touch Gale Harold everyday and I wouldn't get tired of him.

Then, I remembered that I got a little bit of taste of that kind of sexy, that kind of man. The tall, lean, sexy kind I mean. Just a little, itsy bit of taste that was forever stored in my memory banks. And I just have to write about him...

...Even if it's already a year and 4 days after.

*and I've got to find other words to substitute for gorgeous, sexy and lean. I can't seem to get enough of those...

Still on Vacation High

Went and enrolled myself for Practicum next sem. And went back home before I can pay. (well, the line is a mile long, what can you expect? I just have to get up extra early tomorrow.) I am having a wonderful, hot affair with my bed, so I need to go back asap and sleep again.

Gah, I still need to post pictures for the trip. Edit my blog entries to incorporate said pictures. Pay tomorrow for my registration to be complete, pick up a new puppy, an addition to the household, and then probably go to SM Valenzuela with my niece and nephew.

Whew.

No wonder I'm feeling tired just thinking about it.

Time to Go Back Home

Home.

One niece. One nephew.
A sister. Dad, mom.
Brother and sister-in law
on weekends.

Home cooked meals,
desserts galore.
My own PC. Internet!
Brian. Brian.

My own bed.
My own room.
My own mess.

Driving down familiar side of the road.
Hearing music I can understand.
Talking in my native tongue.

All the familiar scent...
All the familiar feel...
All the familiar taste...
All the familiar sight and sounds...

Of Home.

Going to the Zoo

Day 7

Last full day of our holiday in Singapore, and I wanted to go to the Zoo. I feel like a giddy kid, excited about seeing elephants, lions, snakes and of course, the polar bear (which my sister wanted me to take a picture of).

My sister introduced me to this computer game, The Zoo Tycoon where you build a zoo, buy animals, get zookeepers, put restaurants and food stands and cater to all your customers needs. I liked it. I spent hours after hours making my zoo the way I like it.

After leaving the cityscape and entering a brand new side of Singapore (suburban...is the best way I can describe it) we finally saw the sign...Singapore Zoo.Wee!

Guess I was wrong to wear a sleeved shirt. Shet. I think I got shirt marks (burns) on my arms! We walked, take pictures, and I told Liza all about my make believe zoo and how hard, difficult it is to make a balance between pleasing the animals, and pleasing the guests. We noted where the polar bear is located, and then we explored and took pictures of the other animals.

We attended one show, where they showed us the Orangutan, the monkeys, the seals, the snakes and I was introduced to how happy Japanese are as tourists. They squealed, and laughed and enjoyed every moment of the show. I guess I literally became older from when I was a kid anxiously wanting to go to the zoo that morning to an almost 30 year old woman, watching a children's show.

Anyway, we had lunch at KFC, and then walked back to the polar bear where they are scheduled for feeding. And yes, they were amazing, they were cute and they were huge. I wanted to bring one home with me.

So I did. I tried to resist buying a stuff Polar bear, but the expression on the stuff toy's face is so adorable that I have to risk earning my mother's wrath (at buying a stuff toy for myself as a 29th birthday gift!) and taking it home with me.

Guh. He's just so adorable. Can't help it. Can't help falling in love with it.

I took him home, keeping him inside the plastic bag, especially when we arrived at the MRT station and it was raining cats and dogs. One minute Singapore sun is burning my skin, the next the rain is drenching my jeans. Sheesh.

We went back to the city drenched and hungry, and went to have early dinner. I wanted to have mine at Tong Seng, and I was encouraging Liza to try the food at another store, but then when I ordered my last Roasted Chicken from Uncle, she did too.

And like the manangs we were from the first night in Singapore, we stayed and packed and just talked our last night in the city.

*geesh, have to wake up early the next morning. 430am. we have to be at the airport at 5. gah.

Last Day in KL

Day 6

It's nice to finally wake up in a nice warm bed, nuzzled under a blanket, and no worrying about waking up your roommates. That's probably why we slept until 9am when we said that we're going to start our one-half last day in KL going around at 9.

Of course we still have our breakfast, some bread from Bread History (like a knock off of Bread Talk) and water then, rushed down the hotel to arrange for a late check out. After that, it's a matter of finding a taxi cab (again!) because we wanted to go to the Lake Gardens before heading back to Singapore.

So we did. It was like the Botanical Gardens in Singapore, but with the Bird Park. We took a few pictures, and then we told the driver to bring us back to Times Square for a nice lunch. Then, to the hotel, to check out.

Finally, we're ready to say goodbye to Kuala Lumpur. On to the bus to Singapore, with our skin darkening a little from our all-day walk under the heat of the KL sun, we wistfully think of the hotel beds and the private bathroom.

Gah.

*the trip back to Singapore was quite uneventful. It was raining hard, and the highway was okay. The bus felt more comfortable than the one we rode going in, and we were already looking forward to eating dinner at Tong Seng.

The Kuala Lumpur Trip

Day 5

Our fifth day starts at 12 midnight when the bus leaves Singapore Golden Mile Station on a 5 hour trip to Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. So there we are, hopping from the bus with our luggage, climbing the stairs of the pedestrian overpass and finally boarding the bus, hoping to get a 5 hour sleep from this trip.

I slept fitfully, because it was cold and uncomfortable, I don't know. The seats are comfortable enough, like the bus I rode on when I went to Bicol with the guys, but I was uncomfortable. Liza had a harder time, because the Indian guy behind us kept her awake for an hour with loud phone calls and after that, a louder snoring. (I don't know why she hasn't gotten used to my snoring in our dorm room) I was used to sleeping under loud and noisy conditions, so I slept despite the noise.

We woke up from semi-slumber when we got to Singapore's Departure Hall (where Liza delayed the bus because she forgot her departure card) and another wake up call when we got to Malaysian soil and to the quiet, lifeless, and very still Immigration Office.

No problem there. Whew! We've heard of so many Filipino stories of people being held up in Immigration offices that we tried not to be concern but really felt relieved that no problems were encountered.

When the bus stopped at Kuala Lumpur, it was 5am and there this eerie feeling you hear during early mornings. Some people waking up but not quite. We were really planning to go to another backpacker hostel, but we saw several cheap hotels that offer lodging with private bathrooms for just a little extra payment. Ah, private bathrooms. We've been longing for that. So we checked in at a cheap hotel (Star Town Inn in Imbi Street, near Times Square) and sleep for two hours. We'll start wandering around KL at 9am.

9:30 am

So we're late. As to be expected.

First stop is find a taxi. I have a list of places to go to, and the Kuala Lumpur Tower and The Petronas Towers topped the list. The map I have said that the KL tower is nearer us, so we should go there first.

I have to get this off my chest, to start with so I wouldn't rant for the whole of this blog entry, BEWARE of Indian Taxi drivers in KL. They really take advantage and will rip you off. I was more mad at being ripped off (feeling so stupid) than about paying. Anyway, I hope he gets two weeks of misfortune for ripping us off.

So back to going to KL tower and no mentioning of cab drivers again, ever, we paid the entrance fee amount ( I forgot the exact fee) and went up the tower. I wondered why we couldn't build ourselves architecture like these. Things that will put the Manila on the map, and will make tourists flock to our city instead of making this a pit stop before heading to our paradise beaches.

The view from the KL tower was fantastic. We were able to see almost everything up to the Batu Caves and the Petronas, and everything else. Took some pictures, and listened attentively to the recording we were given at the start of the viewing deck.

11:00am

We got to the foot of the Petronas Towers around eleven and made our way to where it said 'Skybridge Viewing' and surprise surprise, we can't go up until 1:15pm as it is the available time allotted to us. Gah, we have to wait just to go up?

So we had lunch and found a cab (this is the damned Indian driver that ripped us off) that will take us around KL to take pictures of famous buildings and places. We were able to go to the famous places and take pictures though and then, we're back to Petronas at 1:00 for the viewing. I will stop myself from saying anything else about those damn Indian drivers.

1:15pm

Petronas Towers. I've seen it in numerous Megastructures National Geographic specials and in Frontlines of Construction. I already know what makes this place so special. I was ready to go up and see if it really lives up to its reputation.

I was sorely disappointed. First we were accosted for having punched the buttons on the elevator and going up by ourselves, those people threatening to tell Immigration authorities (the nerve of that gay Indian! I tell you!) and then, going up the Skybridge and feeling like I'm up on one of Makati's buildings. The view from the bottom is better than the view from the skybridge. Trust me, take lots of pictures from the bottom, than from the Skybridge. It's nothing spectacular. I don't see any reason for the fuss.

I like the facade of the Towers better. Makes for a better picture than the inside.

1:30pm
Ate lunch.

2:00pm
Went to some temples, and went crazy in the Chocolate Factory. Then, went to Chinatown (the Chinatown of Singapore has more character and cleaner and more organized than the KL's Chinatown. Of course our own Chinatown is the best. It has the best Chinese character, I guess, from my point of view that is, although a little cleanliness and organization like that of Singapore wouldn't hurt). Anyway, KL's chinatown is just like Tutuban on the streets. Only, our Tutuban has probably have better merchandise.

Then, we bought our tickets back to Singapore, and we decided to take the rest of the day off.

10pm
We're probably talking about sex. Or our definite lack of it...A great way to end the day, wallow in self-pity over our non-existent love life.

12midnight....
probably snoring...

Of Going Around and Travelling with Friends

Day 3

Woke up getting ready for a day of walking around the City. The Backpacker place we were staying is still quiet and backpackers are still fast asleep, I guess, but I already managed to dragged Liza from her beloved sleep and up to a day of walking.

First stop: Chinatown. Compared to our very own Binondo, I guess their Chinatown is much cleaner and more organized. Although, basically the same rule applies: bargain, if you can, and you can get things a whole lot cheaper. Walking through Chinatown, we also passed by a Hindu Temple. I was surprised because I see stalls like our Tiangge, and yet they accept credit cards. Hmm, I'm really in another country. We bought t-shirts, some souvenirs to bring back home and took lots of pictures. We also eat at a nearby Chinese fastfood stall and ordered their roasted chicken to see how it will compare to the roasted chicken near our hostel. It was good, but a little bit more expensive than Tong Seng. There are a lot of treasures to be unearthed in Chinatown, but we only have the morning to explore, so after lunch, off we go to our next stop. By foot!

Second Stop: Esplanade. Theatres by the Bay. Like the Opera House in Sydney, the Esplanade stands out in its glorious splendour, although by the time we got there, (we've been walking since early morning) we're so tired, we almost missed being awed by the architecture. High end shops inside and a quick picture-taking session infront. Nothing much to say because it was so hot, the heat of the sun was searing my skin. I swear!

Third stop: Chjimes. Like a small Intramuros with a former nunnery and chapel converted into a restaurant and inside the complex, there are several more restaurants to choose from. Going in, I can imagine Singaporeans daydreaming about holding their wedding receptions at Chjimes.

Fourth stop: Singapore Art Gallery. Just a few blocks away from Chjimes, free entrance every Friday night (6pm onwards) but we got there at 4pm. Gah, so we pay, and we marvelled at art pieces, acting as if we know what's good and what's not. Anyway, Filipino art style stood out for us. We can definitely reconized our own.

Last stop: (like our every Last stop for the day) Tong Sen Fast food. Ah, the wonder of Roasted Chicken and mineral water, and what it can do to a human being.

But....there's more.

After resting for a while, I managed to drag Liza to Orchard Road. But before that, we tried calling Jas through his friend Chani. There's some misunderstanding and I hope we can clear things up, before it gets out of hand. I'm really caught in the middle because Liza doesn't want to go to Palau Ubin the next day and it has been arranged. Hmm...


Day 4

Since we didn't go to Palau Ubin with Jasper and Davina, we slept until 9am, and pronounced Saturday as our leisure day. All we have to do is buy tickets for our trip to Malaysia, check out from our hostel, and be out the whole day.

So, in order, we went to Botanical Gardens, then to the mall, eat dinner, watched Flight Plan, and then went to the bus station.

On our way to Malaysia. Yey!!!!

Sentosa Day

Day 2

Woke up at 830 (certainly later than my usual), and immediately was embarrassed because Liza said I snore like some old guy with a sinus problems all throughout the previous night. I couldn't look at my roommates in the eye because, oh well, I didn't know if they get to sleep despite my snoring.

Breakfast consists of 2 slices of bread with Magnolia Cream cheese (bacon flavor). I wish there's Skippy peanut butter available. Then, off we go to prepare for our Sentosa trip. Jasper said he'll meet us at one, so it's just Liza and I to Sentosa. We asked around and I marvelled at the efficiency of Singapore's transport system. We didn't get lost and we got to Sentosa okay.

The Butterfly Farm experience was a drag because it was raining when we get there, but when we rode the Skytower, the sky is already clearing. We spent a little bit more time in Images of Singapore (because we enjoyed taking pictures of ourselves as part of the museum displays) and we had fun wandering around the nearby places. Then, we went to the beach to meet Jasper. The food is utterly expensive so I opted to eat our 'baon' sandwiches and Liza ordered a pizza. And then, a brief photo session on the beach. It was already 230 when we decided that Jasper will probably not arrive within the next hour so we went to Merlion and rode the Cable Car, when Jasper called that he'll meet us at the Merlion.

This is how we ended our day.

We waited for Jas until 5pm, and then we went back to our hostel via MRT (which we figured out on our own...Wee!) And the highlight of our day was when we are back to Tong Seng Fastfood house and we get to eat Roasted Chicken for the second time in two days. Frown on our travelling habit, but when we found a good thing, we decided to stick to it.

We walked off our food by wandering around Bugis Street and trying to haggle with some vendors. And back to our hostel, putting our feet up and just giggling again over silly stories, this time like teenagers.

Time for our bath, and I found out I have...

Oh well. Chinatown, Little India and some museums tomorrow.

Another day, another good time in Singapore.

On Our Way

Day 1

Shet.

The one time that I almost, (and I mean almost, but not quite) I've wished I was still working in DHL, was this morning, when the Philippine Immigration officer asked me a few questions, you'd think I'm planning to illegally migrate to another country.

Shet.

I showed her my credit card to shut her up. Let her check the credit limit. Although that credit limit applies when I was still flying high in the corporate world. Oh well.

I like the Immigration Officer in Singapore better. Chinese cute guy who just asked me if it's my first time in Singapore, while already punching his approval on my passport. I like him.

(Okay so this is an insert, because Jasper just reminded me that I saw, no, we saw someone who vaguely reminds me, or us of my Brian Kinney...A guy in the Singapore MRT made our hearts flutter just a little bit faster. He's f--king gorgeous! And looking at Jas...shucks. Unfortunately for Liza and I.)

I also like Tong Seng Fast food center at the ground floor of our hostel. Order the roast chicken, we'll probably order it again tomorrow.

And finally, I couldn't say enough good things about Backpacker's Cozy Corner Guesthouse. We are in a room with 4 other foreigners, and it reminds me of my UP dorm days with gorgeous foreigners as dorm mates. Life could be better though if they are all single, but alas, most of them are either married or with their girlfriends.

Hmmm, we're manangs today. It was ladies night in Singapore, and Liza and I are lounging in our bunk beds, gossiping like old ladies, when we should have been out there, drinking and parading ourselves to all and sundry.

Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Ria and Karl

Finally, after 2 and half years (roughly) I get to hug, talk and see Ria again. She looks good, still sporting that pixie hairstyle and still the same Ria I knew in college. And at last, I met Karl, who I've been hearing and we've been talking about since he asked Ria to accompany him for that concert.

We met in McDonald's and I heard the slang. She doesn't speak English like a Filipino anymore. I guess I would too after 2 years. We still talk on top of each other, leaving poor Karl trying to follow our Taglish conversation. I met her parents, and as predicted, they didn't remember me, since I only met them once and it was a long time ago. We finally head over to Greenhills and started to look for the things on Ria's list to buy. We got impatient only after an hour and leave her mom to look for the stuff to buy. Greenhills tiangge is a haven for very patient shoppers.

I shouldn't say anything, since he's not my boyfriend and it's no business of mine, but then again, I can only say good things, so why not? Karl is nice, friendly, patient (one would have to be, when Ria's boyfriend) and made me laugh a few times. Already scored points in my book when he made me laugh the first time, but I am already resolute to convince Ria to marry him when he made me laugh the second and third time.

We went to UP Diliman after, and acted like the tourists that we -- they -- are. Take photos of the Oblation, the Ampitheatre, the Carillion and even the Sunken Garden. Ria even bought squid balls to complete her UP reminiscing. But Karl has to have the UP tour and experience a little slice of life in our beloved state university so we rode the Ikot Jeep (which to our amazement, costs 6.50! It was only 1.50 or 2.00 when we were still studying there, as far as we can recall....we're really getting old if we're mistaken or we're correct and it was that cheap then!) Funny because we didn't think that we should warn Karl about what to do when getting down a jeepney. We didn't think there was a technique. It must come naturally to Filipinos.

I missed Ria. And I was sorry that I couldn't see more of her when she was here in Manila. But then, when we got together, it seems that we already know what's going on on each other's lives. It seems time and distance couldn't keep two best friends apart.

That knowledge warms my heart and reassures my soul. After all, life is certainly easier to face when you know for sure that you have your friends beside you, even if they are miles away.

Preparations

It's not easy.

I have to choose between thinking of clothes to prepare for Singapore or to finally start my portfolio. To finalize itinerary or to study for my finals. But it should be a no-brainer and I was forced to choose to cross the first bridge that comes first. Portfolio, finals and then, finally I can start thinking of Singapore tonight. My last class has finally ended.

Liza and I went to SM for last few things to buy.

Gah! Have to pack, have to think of the trip, have to ....

Gotta go!

The Year Before Thirty

So.

It finally came. The day that starts the 365 day countdown to the big 3-0. If I'm ranting, semi-depressed, emotionally eating before today, I have to ready my Valium and Xanax for my 30th. What's the big deal? I truly don't know. I hate myself for making a big deal out of age...but then, I don't often necessarily make sense, so that's that.

In celebration of my birthday...of course, I'll make a list, the part 2 of my Useless Lists (makes sense to me only!). Several in fact. Let's see which list will make it to 29.

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Food I'd like to Eat on my Birthday
1. Spaghetti
2. Fried Chicken
3. Chicken Barbecue
4. Java Rice
5. Rocky Road Ice Cream
6. Double Dutch ice Cream
7. Mocha Cake
8. Bread and butter
9. Cheesecake
10. Kare-Kare
*weee! 6 out of 10 ain't bad!

Greetings (calls, texts, emails, etc.) I've received...(so far)
1. Lorraine
2. Parents
3. Liza
4. Cez
5. Honee
6. Ivy
7. Jasper
8. Skee
9. Pare
10. Yvette
11. Robin
12. Oca
13. Rhea
14. Mike
15. Angel
16. Jody
17. July
18. 4 friendster friends....
19. 1 friendster guy friend...
*all close friends are there...except bespren and ria...but ria is probably on the plane on the way to the Philippines so she has a good excuse. Bespren? san ka na?

Celebrities I Want to Sleep With *And I don't mean that in the Literal sense...
1. Gale Harold
2. Johnny Depp
3. Eminem
4. Keanu Reeves
5. Draco Malfoy (or Tom Felton, but only when he's Draco Malfoy...legal!)
6. Daniel Radcliffe (okay, one more year before he's legal!)
7. Matt Damon
8. Hugh Grant
9. Ewan McGregor
10. Jake Gyllenhaal/Jonathan Togo (Wolf in CSI Miami)/Guy in Lacoste commercial
*they all look alike, so they get one number...
11. Gary Dourdan
12. Rob Thomas

(and I think you can guess the theme for my lists...My Birthday Fantasy List...I'll think of some more before the day ends...)

Weekend for the Adventurous

I'll try to summarize my last four days in as short a paragraph as I can make it.

Thursday, feeling guilty, watching mom, lina baked pastries, packed more pastries than I can remember doing. Friday, same as Thursday, only with additional stuff to think about, like flyers, and change and all the things in my checklist. Saturday, woke up early, set up, sell, sell and sell, Liza and I were nearly snapping at each other by the end of the day where we pretend to be gracious salesperson when all we wanted to do was sit and let the customers buy our pastries. Okay, each sale was a high, like a drug, that had us going the whole day even though we're dead tired. Sunday was a little better, with my sister helping us along. But another day of disappointment. Didn't sell as much as we thought, but it was okay. Monday, today, didn't go to school, just wanting to be.

Okay, so I can summarize the weekend in three words.

New. Tired. Accomplished.

Near October

October is just around the bend. Literally. And my mind is blanking off ten minutes every hour. I mean, I cannot seem to be there, just be, and I feel like floating for a good long while. Mostly it's because I've been obsessing about Brian Kinney, but come to think of it, I'm also consciously not thinking about October coming right up at me, barging in and making itself known.

I'm going to turn 29. Twenty-fucking-nine. Just one year shy of the big three oh. Shit.

Don't get me wrong, on one hand, I'm excited about October. What with the bazaar coming up, and the big celebration of my 29 years in this world, my friends and I are going to Singapore. And October is the best month. Not quite Christmas yet, so you can do early Christmas shopping without the huge throng of people, and the weather is perfect, not too cold, and not warm. Just right.

I just hate the fact that after the 12th, I'm older than most people I see on tv, I hear on the radio and I see in movies. Gah. Why do I keep having this problem about getting older? Why do I keep feeling uncertain, unfulfilled and discontented whenever my birthday comes rolling around? I promised myself this year would be different. That I would accept my 29th, willingly and gladly.

I seem to have lost my sense of identity if I thought I can let this go without a single rant.

Go figure.

Being Brian Kinney

Disclaimer:

I've read the an article about Brian Kinney. And it's exactly what I feel about Brian. I've posted some excerpts (okay, almost the entire article...) here, but I want to give credit where it's due. These were all written by another person. But I can feel these words speaking for me too, and so I am posting it here.


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"Brian is MALE. He is at once primal, virile and predatory. His libido is a potent, often threatening force...Brian doesn't measure his masculinity by the ability to subordinate others. It's not that he isn't capable of tenderness; we've seen him demonstrate sensitivity with Michael, Lindsay, Gus and Justin. He is not generally, however, a tender and compassionate guy. That's why it is so thrilling when the writing allows us to see the side of Brian that he generally represses; when his aggressive spirit backs off ever so slightly to reveal a shimmer of his soul. "

"Brian is in COMMAND. He not only creates his own sexual space -- he occupies every square inch of it. Like early Brando or James Dean, he is electrically charged even in repose. Sensuality is not about a striptease. For me, a fully dressed Brian is more sexually alluring than any half-naked hunk flexing his pecs on the Babylon dance floor, because Brian's particular sensuality is about ATTITUDE, and the subtle and scary grace of suppressed aggressiveness. Brian is aware of his body and comfortable in his own skin even when he finds himself in an uncomfortable spot. Brian walks into a room and commands attention with the simple lift of an eyebrow. He OWNS the place. When he leaves, he takes all of the oxygen with him. "

Brian is SEX. It isn't just about his lips or his eyes, despite the feelings of eroticism they evoke. It's not just about the way he moves, or speaks, or how he makes you weak in the knees when he cocks his head a certain way. It's about being a heartbeat away from the sheer intensity of his next action or reaction, whether it's right or wrong.

Brian is FANTASY...Eroticizing promiscuous behaviour is dangerous business because of our modern sensibilties . . . but those notions are also hardwired into our brains. It is also what this kind of fantasy is about. We don't necessarily want it to be in our real lives, but it IS a part of our primitive sex drive. As a heterosexual female, I look to my ancestors in the early cradle tribal societies who mated mostly with ruthless alpha-level males. Nice guys didn't cut it. Nice guys didn't pass on their genes as frequently because they didn't 'fit' into the ongoing battle for survival in a very brutal and dangerous world. The way I see it, it doesn't matter if you're gay or straight; I recognize and appreciate that these instincts were (and still are) a part of basic human nature. Through Brian, I can vicariously AND SAFELY experience 'The Call of the Wild.'

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*Whoever owns the website, whoever wrote this article....I give her all the credit. I have wanted to write my own version of what I think Brian is, but I think she already said it all. AND VERY WELL SAID.

**I wanted to write something like this yesterday, but obviously I just raved on and on and prattled, and gushed about Gale Harold as Brian Kinney. oh well, here it is. How to describe the undeniable attraction of Brian Kinney.

Being Brian

I am too old for this shit.

I used to always have huge crushes on celebrities, constantly dreaming about them. The really embarrassing ones I had fallen semi-in love with were Mel Gibson, Kevin Costner, Keanu Reeves (since Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure, thank you very much), Johnny Depp (since 21 Jumpstreet), Matt Biondi, Matt Damon, Eminem, and Daniel Radcliffe. I had posters, watched everything they were in, and cut all pictures.

I know, I know. It's so juvenile. So grade school.

I am still obsessed though.

Right. I'm turning 29 in the next two to three weeks and I'm still obsessing about some celebrity. And this is no joke.

I'm absolutely, completely in love with Brian Kinney of Queer as Folk and Gale Harold (the actor who plays Brian Kinney) is HOT. So hot, I'm insanely jealous of Randy Harrison who plays Justin (Brian's boyfriend in QAF) who gets to kiss and have sex with Gale every time, but damn him, always leaving Brian in the lurch whenever life gets too monotonous.

And I've had crushes on beautiful people. And gorgeous guys. But Brian Kinney is not just gorgeous and beautiful. Beautiful is too mild and sweet a word. He's really Hot, to quote Paris Hilton. Hot is when a guy looks like he will throw you on the bed and have his wicked way with you until you passed out. Hot is when he looks at you and you spontaneously burst into flames. Hot is when he's covered in sweat, eyes heavy lidded and all he had to do is look at you and you'll do anything he asks, as if hypnotized. That is hot.

I'm losing it. I'm making a blog entry about Gale Harold. I don't care what people say. He's almost perfect. It doesn't even matter if I fantasized about him being an ordinary guy i'll meet in Makati Greenbelt one day, wearing a shirt and low-slung jeans, it just doesn't matter. Shucks.

And this obsession has to stop. I eat, breathe and drink Brian Kinney. I sleep, dream and wake up to Brian Kinney. I've been floating, like a ghost of my former self, for the last two weeks, just doing some things automatically without really putting my heart into it. Not sleeping early, forgetting to chat with my sister, and not doing my reports a week ahead of time.

Gah. Life really sucks sometimes. This is not the time to 'float'. So many things to do.

(Especially considering I'm too old for this kind of shit. I utterly sound like a 15year old daydreaming about an older man! In reality, he's just 6 years older.)

(The Pic I Love --- I can imagine us sitting across from each other and I won't even find a second to spare my surroundings a glance. Just look at those dreamy eyes, aquiline nose, pouty lower lips, eyebrows arched just right, and some loose strands of hair falling over forehead.)

Queer as Folk

Just like with everything I do, I sometimes latched on to some fascination and until I squeezed it dry, I cannot let go. I finally bought two seasons of Queer as Folk last Sunday at Quiapo. I got hold of the last two seasons, fortunately, (so I didn't have to pull all my hair after watching not knowing the ending) but it also gives me a bereft feeling because I wanted to see how the show developed in the first three seasons.

Anyway, before I go rave and rant about Queer as Folk, I'll tell my story (as this is my personal blog, so I can write anything I want on it). This unreasonable, unexplainable fascination with gay relationships (and before you go accusing me of repressed homosexual tendencies, well, I'm only fascinated with male-male relationships, so I'm the wrong gender completely) started with Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. The first time I saw fanfiction pairings with the two boys, I predictably said, 'ewww'. Now, given that I am a homebound jobless 29 year old single woman, I am forever addicted to any story that tells of a relationship between two beautiful, hot boys especially Harry and Draco.

I'm getting off track. So okay, I love Harry and Draco. I think they're God's gift to lonely, getting-old single women with no sexual life to speak of. And on many H/D fangroups that I am a member of, they keep mentioning Queer as Folk. I researched of course, and found out that this was a British television series about gay relationships, and that has been adapted in the US. And I am also terribly late to be addicted to the series, but what the heck, at least now I can look forward to watching everything marathon-style.

And I just have to have the DVDs.

I found a season in Metrowalk two months ago. I didn't buy it then. My parents are with me. But I hauled my butt off to Quiapo yesterday, dragged Liza with me, to buy Queer as Folk. And I started watching at 4pm and slept at 5am the next morning. Watching 25 episodes all in all, of poignant, brutally honest, in-your-face television. If this is the American version, I can imagine that the British one is more honest.

So I cheered for Brian Kinney, for Justin, and their love. Well, because they reminded me of Harry and Draco. And I was thrilled when during the minutes between 330 am to 4 am Brian (the bad boy of gaydom) proposed to Justin. Whee! And my whole world crashed, when in the end, they cannot be together. I was bombed.

Why can't they put fairy dust in the end, just to satisfy audience like me who are still hoping against hope that there are love stories that against all odds, can survive at the end? Even Sex and the City managed to put Carrie and Big together, why, WHY can't Brian and Justin end up together?

I jumped up from bed after two hours sleep (because no matter what, I always opened my eyes at 7 in the morning) ate my breakfast and hurriedly turned on the computer just in case there's some notes or hopeful message in the end about Justin and Brian.

Nothing.

It has ended. Their love wasn't enough to overcome the reality that their worlds are apart and that retaining their individuality means much, so much more than their love. Gah! Lesson to all, something that we Filipinos would rather not watch, someone giving up the love of their lives, because well, it would otherwise mean losing yourself.

Okay...I'm done here. I am dreadfully affected by series that I watched on TV that sometimes it borders on unhealthy. I am sad. But I am also hopeful that there's a chance Justin will come back to Brian. Chalk it up to Filipino sentimentality, I suppose. Gay couples around the world will probably not agree with me, given the reason behind the separation but who knows? Stranger things have happened.

And now I need to read a really fluffy, romantic, happy-ending Harry/Draco story to help me fall asleep without a deep sadness sitting on my chest.

*And I just have to show you Brian and Justin. Sigh. So sad.*

Panacea

panacea \pan-uh-SEE-uh\ noun
: a remedy for all ills or difficulties : cure-all

It was a decidedly lazy Sunday, no strutting around in Megamall and no driving around buying things. Just a nice, lazy Sunday. The kind that I don't like. At times like these, I can't do anything. Can't study for my impending exams on Tuesday. Can't think about things to do for the bazaar, and can't think of anything but the apparent lack of significant changes and events in my life, just when it's on the verge of celebrating it's 29th year.

I saw my Roomie in Friendster, (because Friendster sends updates and Tina uploaded some pics of her baby, so I checked it out) and she wrote in one pic as caption, 'my little piece of heaven' under the pic with her baby and her boyfriend. And I heard my heart screamed at me, 'I want a little piece of heaven too!' with my mind screaming back, 'oh forget it, you're not going to get it.'

I'm a pathetic human being, with my body organs conversing and shouting obscenities at each other, feeling hopeful and hopeless at the same time. And this word stuck with me. Not at all romantic-sounding, panacea. I can say I'm hoping for an answer to my prayers (that sounded romantic, but utterly cliche, so I don't like it), but at times like these, when there's a definite pang of loneliness, I just need a panacea. My own panacea. Someone to cure this loneliness.

And he'll be my little piece of heaven.

Favorites

I like playing Top Ten, and I like making lists. Just in case you don't know, or if you've been reading my blog for quite sometime, too dense to notice. So I'll play Friendster Favorites. Or my own version.

My list of Inconsequential Lists

Favorite Places in Manila:
1. My Room
2. Mad Max (wherever he is)
3. UP Diliman
4. Cafe Breton, Greenbelt
5. Cafe Breton, Malate
6. Roxas Blvd. (love to drive by, esp. when there's a beautiful Mla Bay sunset)
7. Divisoria (168, Tabora St., etc.)
8. Immaculate Heart of Mary Church, Malabon
9. Ayala Center, Makati (Glorietta)
10. Hobbes, Greenbelt 3

Favorite Long Lost Food (some lost forever, some I just miss so!)
1. Kalibo Longanisa (which I bought from an agent's niece)
2. New York Cheesecake at Jed and Julian's, Adriatico, Malate
3. Makati Supermart's Spaghetti (large)
4. Hungry Hippo's greasy cheeseburger with egg
5. SR Thai's chili chicken with rice
6. Rodic's Tosilog, UP Shopping Center, UP Diliman
7. Molave Residence Hall's putok (w/ butter) and Mountain Dew, UP Diliman
8. BeachHouse's barbecue, UP Diliman
9. German SweetHam sandwich, CASAA, UP Diliman
10. Bohol beach's Lechon Cebu

Favorite Desserts
1. Rocky Road Ice Cream
2. Chocolate thunder Down Under
3. Reese's Cups
4. Double Dutch Ice Cream
5. House of Sylvanna's sylvannas
6. Sans rival
7. Sneakers bars, Nestle Crunch, Toblerone white (all on equal footing)
8. Ginataang mais (i just had one today! whee!)
9. Biko (the old fashioned malagkit one, with latik)
10. Mocha Cake (boring, I know, but that's the kind of cake i like)

Favorite Things to Watch on TV
1. Discovery's Globe Trekker (formerly Lonely Planet) with Ian Wright
2. National Geographic's Megastructures / Frontlines of Construction (I'm a nerd I know, I'm just fascinated with things I don't really understand, like Engineering.)
3. Medical Detectives (like the one in Discovery and all CSI shows)
4. CNN (esp when there's a big event, like Iraq invasion, UK's terrorist attacks, etc.)
5. BBC (i just like to tune in, listen to all those British accents)
6. Talk Shows like Jay Leno, Conan O'Brien, Oprah (before), even Parkinson
7. Documentary specials in National Geographic, just because we don't have Discovery here (wah! I want to murder those people in Sky for not offering Discovery in Camanava)
8. Battle of the Geeks (on Jack tv, my sister's favorite, but I watch it regularly now)
9. Make over shows
10. Comedy sitcoms i.e. Will and Grace, Friends, Monk, Frasier, Everybody Loves Raymond, Arrested Development, etc.

Favorite Sites on the Internet
1. Harry&Draco livejournal community
2. Merriam-Webster Online
3. Amazon.com
4. IMDB
5. lonelyplanet.com
6. Schnoogle.com
7. skyhawke archive
8. Yahoo Shopping
9. Yahoo Properties
10. Quotes Database

Favorite Movie Characters
1. Harry Burns - Billy Crystal, When Harry Met Sally
2. Prime Minister - Hugh Grant, Love Actually
3. Luke Skywalker - Mark Hamill, Star Wars
4. Indiana Jones - Harrison Ford, Indiana Jones
5. Jason Borne - Matt Damon, The Borne Identity
6. Lestat de Lioncourt - Tom Cruise, Interview with the Vampire
7. Roux - Johnny Depp, Chocolat
8. Wong Fei Hung - Jet Li, Once Upon a Time in China
9. King Buliwyf - Vladimir Kulich, 13th Warrior
10. Jack Ryan - Harrison Ford, Clear and Present Danger
10. Legolas - Orlando Bloom, The Lord of the Rings
10. Jack Sparrow - Johnny Depp, The Pirates of the Caribbean
(and I just have to cheat...oh well, Orlando and Johnny are worth it.)

Favorite TV Characters
1. David Brent - Ricky Gervais, The Office (original version UK- super funny!!!)
2. Chandler Bing - Matthew Perry, Friends
3. Dr Niles Crane - David Hyde Pierce, Frasier
4. Warrick Brown - Gary Dourdan, CSI (crush!)
5. Will Truman - Eric McCormack, Will and Grace
6. Dr. Frasier Crane - Kelsey Grammer, Cheers
7. Adrian Monk - Tony Shalhoub, Monk
8. Tom Hanson - Johnny Depp, 21 Jumpstreet (even then, he looks just as yummy!)
9. Charles - Scott Baio, Charles in Charge (i used to stay up late, just to watch)
10. Raymond Barone - Ray Romano, Everybody Loves Raymond

Favorite Things to Do on a Lazy Sunday
1. Make inconsequential lists.
2. Daydream
3. Watch TV
4. Read Draco sh-gging Harry
5. Texts
6. Surf the Internet
7. Eat Sneakers
8. Take afternoon naps
9. slow driving
10. walk around the house like a zombie

Additional...my sis added this in her entry. I didn't want to try to limit my favorite book characters into ten...but anyway, here's my attempt.

Favorite Book Characters
1. Draco Malfoy - Harry Potter series, esp spin-off fanfiction, JK Rowling
2. Harry Potter - Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
3. Holden Caulfield - Catcher in the Rye, JD Salinger
4. Jing Mei - The Joyluck Club, Amy Tan
5. Santiago - The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
6. Lestat de Lioncourt - The Vampire Lestat, The Vampire Chronicles, Anne Rice
7. Tristan Thorn - StarDust, Neil Gaiman
8. Michael Corleone - The Godfather, Mario Puzo
9. Robert Langdon - The Da Vinci Code, Dan Brown
10. Bridget Jones - Bridget Jones' Diary, Helen Fielding


...still more lists to come.

The Smell of Rain

amidst breathing in
dirty,humid city air

ismell Rain

cool, cold, wispy
whispering, sighing
in a lonely afternoon

Rain comes

i stopped pounding on my
keyboards, a moment
a pause

i breathed in

i smell Rain
smells like Heaven
on a hot hot day

My Great Loves

If I will be asked today what or who are the great loves of my life, then I will have to answer it like these.

There's God, above all, my family coming in close second, Chewy, who I will miss terribly when he leaves us, and bestfriends, both girls and guys who've been with me through thick and thin (literally!). There are material things that I treasure just because they mean different things to me. Mad Max, my Independence. Books, my Escape. Internet and PC, my Knowledge Source.

And then, there are those that I crave. Those things that never cease to interest me, capture me, and entrap me with just the mere mention of words, of concepts. Love, and all it's mysteries. I can go on and on analyzing and still come up with no answers. Literature, the beauty of the written word, how it amazes me to read words that can evoke many feelings with just a few simple well-written phrases. Poetry, I still hold it above all as one of life's simple pleasures, listening to poetry, and watching it in everyday surroundings.

Let me add, Education, the never ending pursuit of knowledge is just that, a never ending pursuit, and should never be abandoned. I hope I can find a business someday that can finance all the educational pursuits that I want. I want to take a Master's Degree in Educational Psychology, in English Literature, and take dozens of other short courses on any of the following: Foreign Languages, Anthropology, Sociology, Film, Interior Design, Early Childhood Education, and Art.

Speaking of Art - if there is one thing that can make this entry short, it's art. Literature is one form of it, Visual Arts, Photography and Dance are all forms of it. And I love them all. I take great pleasure in watching, participating, and appreciating all the great artists perform their magic.

Last but not the least, I'm endlessly fascinated about places and culture. Other people and my own. Anything that has years of history, looks different and the same, have great story potential is absolutely fascinating to me. I can watch Travel Channel for days on end, and I won't be bored.

Okay, I'm ending this entry of Great Loves without The One, The Great True Love, because, well, I don't have any. I think I'm going to end up like those women, who loves life, but spend it trying to find True Love with no success. Ah well, I'm almost resigned to that Fate. (But I'm always praying for a miracle!)

So what are your Great Loves?


Next entry...my Top Ten Travel Fantasy Places with no drabbles (so you won't have to listen to me gush about a place i've never been to) and just photos and quotes.

P.S. It's my brother's birthday today. Guh, a sign that says my birthday is just around the bend.

Blink of an Eye

I'm just waiting for September to come, and I promised myself that I'll write again. All the nonsense lodging in my head, all mundane thoughts running around and all my crazy harebrained ideas. For now, let me put it in a nutshell.

A couple of weeks ago, I was happily waiting for life to take hold of me and push me into high gear. I guess my wish came true. My classmate got a text message saying that a one-way trip to Singapore costs only P350.00, that's something I thought even I can afford. So I immediately sent text messages to two people I know I can coerced into joining me for the trip. We stayed at my house, and Jas promptly dashed my hopes of going to Singapore by saying that it'll take P17,000 at least for our trip. (Tee hee, because we're also planning to go to Kuala Lumpur and Indonesia...I was even wondering if we can squeeze in Thailand in there...) The problem took hold, where in the world am I going to get P17,000? I have no job, and I'm not planning on asking my parents at a financially difficult time like this.

So I persuaded (yes, persuaded is probably a mild word) Liza to join me in bazaars. I was already planning to join bazaars for Christmas to sell my mother's pastries, but I was taking my time, and thought I have all the time in the world. But with the Singapore trip nipping on my tail, I need to do something ASAP.

Suffice it to say that it snowballed from there. We are now in the throngs of planning for our first bazaar. Seems a little thing to most people, but when you've been enclosed in the relative security of the corporate world for so long, like Liza and I, this is a big step. Our first big business venture. He he. (Not counting those org fund raisers we used to have in college. :D)

If you live somewhere near Alabang, go visit Cuenca Community Center on October 1 and 2. We'll be there with our pastries. (Trust me, the pastries are worth the trip and the price!) I guess you'll be hearing a lot of our whining and planning as I think it will take up most of my time (and my mind!) for the coming month.

(I'm nervous, yet excited, reminiscent of the feeling of falling in line to ride a great big roller coaster, surveying its twists and turns, waiting for your first ride. You can feel your guts wrenching, butterflies somersaulting and yet you sweat, anticipating the adrenalin rush of doing something exciting for the first time.)

Gah! How nerdy can I get? Experiencing butterflies from going into bazaar selling for the first time? I need to get a life!

(Whee! Our Singapore trip is already booked. So whether or not I raise P17K, I'm having a vacation to celebrate my 29th birthday! I'll cross the bridge of having huge debts to friends when I get there.)

Pare's Request (A Late Answer)

So I'm about a month late.

Sorry, Pare.

My excuse? My mind was wandering for eons now, and I can't even get up the nerve to write something soul searching or not-mundane. I'm afraid sometimes of what answers I can come up with to answer all of my life's questions. So no blog-browsing, no blog-reading and just a handful of blog-writing.

Okay, I guess I have no excuse now. And here it goes:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. elaine
2. elaney
3. laney

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1. elaine
2. elaney
3. karina (don't ask me why)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. well-read (therefore, I can always pretend to be intellectually superior)
2. twisted sense of humor
3. great love of all things one considers geeky and corny
(Star Wars, Harry Potter, Discovery Channel and books!)

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. always complaining
2. afraid to take chances
3. always analyzing

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Filipino
2. Tagalog
3. born and bred in Manila

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Growing old alone
2. Being out of place
3. Leading a mundane life

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. H/D
2. Food
3. TV

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. hot pants
2. sando
3. tsinelas

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS
1. bob marley and the wailers
2. brownman revival
3. the beatles

YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. Fallin' (Robert Klein, from the play 'They're Playing Our Song')
2. Ikaw (Sharon Cuneta -- Bwhahaha!)
3. Waiting in Vain (Bob Marley)

NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. bazaar, business
2. Get with the Program! by Bob Greene
3. learn a new language (French or Spanish)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
(bakit di sinagutan to ha, pare?)
1. long conversations of the serious and the mundane
2. independence and dependence
3. cuddling and space

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
1. I'm not worried about getting older
2. i want to have a baby
3. i'm on the verge of losing hope on love

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. smarts
2. smile
3. stand

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO
1. patiently wait
2. not complain until i get what i want
3. act

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. reading
2. talking
3. daydreaming

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. uhm -- can i write it here?
2. be somewhere out of the country
3. eat chocolate

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
1. Special Education teacher
2. UN Volunteer
3. Freelance writer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION TO
(only three?!? well, it's time to cheat!)
1. Europe (London, Paris, Rome, Madrid)
2. Asia (Ulaan Baatar, Beijing, Kathmandu, Phnom Penh, Phuket)
3. all over the Philippines (Batanes, Palawan, etc.)

THREE KID'S NAMES (in the slim eventuality that there would be...)
1. Jamie
2. Emily (for my favorite poet)
3. Marley

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. travel the world
2. have a wild, passionate affair
3. publish a book

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. i over-analyze
2. going gaga over gorgeous guys
3. emphatize with Carrie Bradshaw's existential angsts

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. have commitment issues
2. judge a date by looks alone
3. i don't have my nails manicured regularly

THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ
1. RV
2. Bespren and Ria Girl (cheating na naman ba?)
3. Liza