Scrooged

Sigh.

I cannot help but long for the Pinoy Christmases of old. The one where everywhere you look, there are bright twinkling lights on every home windows and walls, and some expensive lantern as the centerpiece. You can hear then loud Christmas songs, and even after you've left the mall, you can hear it echoing in your ears, for it really feels like Christmas.

Oh well. Difficult times. But I was hoping that children may get to experience the kind of Christmas I grew up in. Where I can practically smell Christmas in the air, hear it echo with every step, see it every where you go, and feel it in every good deed that we Filipinos seem to do, just because it's Christmas.

Alas, I'm well turning into Scrooge.

I feel like sneering instead of breaking into a Christmas Cheer. I'm frowning at basic traditional Pinoy Christmas routines like young children singing Christmas carols off key, shaking their tansan-made musical instrument. I grit my teeth trying to swim among the hordes of people in 168. I'm so lazy wrapping my gifts. And if I can get out of family reunions and weddings, I would. (And I hate that I am wasting two days of my two week vacation running to LTO because of f-cking people who stole my car plates!)

There's really something lacking. Something not-quite so festive, this Christmas. I guess I need to think of what it should really mean to me. And to everybody.

That it's not puto bungbong, lights, sounds, and gifts that make up Christmas.

It should be giving thanks, giving back, and remembering Him.

And I'd better stop being a Scrooge.