Panacea

panacea \pan-uh-SEE-uh\ noun
: a remedy for all ills or difficulties : cure-all

It was a decidedly lazy Sunday, no strutting around in Megamall and no driving around buying things. Just a nice, lazy Sunday. The kind that I don't like. At times like these, I can't do anything. Can't study for my impending exams on Tuesday. Can't think about things to do for the bazaar, and can't think of anything but the apparent lack of significant changes and events in my life, just when it's on the verge of celebrating it's 29th year.

I saw my Roomie in Friendster, (because Friendster sends updates and Tina uploaded some pics of her baby, so I checked it out) and she wrote in one pic as caption, 'my little piece of heaven' under the pic with her baby and her boyfriend. And I heard my heart screamed at me, 'I want a little piece of heaven too!' with my mind screaming back, 'oh forget it, you're not going to get it.'

I'm a pathetic human being, with my body organs conversing and shouting obscenities at each other, feeling hopeful and hopeless at the same time. And this word stuck with me. Not at all romantic-sounding, panacea. I can say I'm hoping for an answer to my prayers (that sounded romantic, but utterly cliche, so I don't like it), but at times like these, when there's a definite pang of loneliness, I just need a panacea. My own panacea. Someone to cure this loneliness.

And he'll be my little piece of heaven.