Dreaming Forbidden Dreams

I haven't been feeling proud of myself lately. It's not that I'm feeling ashamed of myself or anything, it's just that, I FEEL that there's nothing really significant going on in my life right now. No job, no money, no great social life, and no significant other yet and not in the near future either. My so-called Blah life. There's me, always looking for that little something so I can still write and looking at God's everyday blessings to have something to live and be thankful for.



BUT...and here's my eye opener for the day, I came across an article written by a UP student, aptly entitled 'Forbidden Dreams'. He said he's currently studying business - well, talk about parrarelism -- but he's secretly dreaming of becoming a teacher and a writer.



There it was. My eyes slightly misted, because I can really relate to what he's feeling. Follow society's dictates, listen to your brain and it's telling you to get that degree which will get you a more lucrative job. Then, my chest swelled with pride, because I did it. I am no longer dreaming forbidden dreams, I am working my way to fulfilling mine.



I know it's going to be hard for him to walk the road less traveled. I've known and dreamt forever of becoming a teacher and I always knew that I wanted to write and publish my own book someday - whether it's a trashy novel or a self-help book, who knows? -- but I turned my back on dreams, and tried to immerse myself in the corporate world, which I would say, is an utter failure. Yes, I did get that lucrative job. Yes, I did get that high salary, higher than most people my age are getting. But no, I'm not that happy with what I'm doing. I was never exactly fulfilled.



But if not for these experiences, I wouldn't have the courage to work my way towards my dreams. Until now, I'm stumbling and walking blindly, afraid and uncertain, but still holding on to those dreams. So, I know he'll also have to go through his own experiences in the corporate world. Experience for himself the shallow satisfaction of high salaries and luxuries it gives a person, when he already knows what he wants. He has to go through all of that, in order to have the strength to turn his back on those and pursue his dreams. I hope he finds his way years from now.



As for me, I realized that I have something to be proud about. I had the courage to pursue my forbidden dreams. I don't know what the future holds, I just know that I'm no longer dreaming of secret dreams. I may not have everything, but I, at least, can look forward to the fulfillment of my dreams.