Yesterday, I gained another godchild, my niece, Sofia Isabel. The baptism was uneventful really, except for the fact that my other godchild, Joaquin keeps wreaking havoc by wailing something fierce that it could probably be overheard in the Jollibee beside the restaurant we’re in.
The thing is, all around me are couples my age with one or two children in tow. Or let’s say about my age range. Just below thirty, and way passed twenty-five. Even my sister-in law, a woman just a year my senior already has two children.
Tick, tock, tick, tock….
I have always felt like a wallflower at gatherings like these, if you can believe that. I may be gregarious when with friends, always trying to hog the spotlight, but when with relatives, I tend to stay in the background. Especially now that my sister, who has been my companion during these gatherings, is already married and had somehow entered the secret society that seem to require you to present your marriage certificate.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
What's with this Secret Society? Why do they have to pressure us single women into finding that one man for us? They do it subtly, like excluding you from conversations regarding 'marriage' stuff, really no different from ours, but they'll say things like, 'oh when you're married, it's different.' Like hell it's different. I know it's more difficult, but we each have our own difficulties. I can fully relate to Bridget Jones when she said she hated those Smug Marrieds, looking down on us, Singletons.
But the thing is, us Singletons, our deepest, most hidden desire is to be part of that Secret Society. Aaarrggghhhh!
Tick, tock, tick, tock...
My sister is three years younger than me. She can still wait a few years before having a baby. And I can imagine what a beautiful baby it’s going to be. It will have a western and eastern blend of course, so it’ll be beautiful. Another godchild in the future for me, and that’s probably something to look forward to.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
Sometimes, I wish we could have a catalogue of men, with varying descriptions of their qualities, capabilities, and IQ level that we can choose to get a donation of sperm from. You can choose whether to just get the sperm (the by-product) or the man himself (the product) in order to satisfy your needs. I hope they come in all shapes and sizes, colors and texture, so we can have a lot to choose from. I’ll order for Man # 01212, Extra Large. That’s the blond with blue eyes, right? Okay, thank you. I’ll be paying the balance after the service is rendered. Transaction closed. Problem solved.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
But life is not easy. Life has a way of making simple things complicated and making complications stand out like a sore thumb. Even the most progressive country is not that crude. Even the least populated country will not resort to those dire options just because they needed a population boost. Even the most desperate of women, just like me, who are on the verge of expiration, can’t simply choose their mate from a catalogue, with just a resume and a picture. For me, I’ll probably require for them to pass an exam, both personality and psychological, after which, they’ll have to go through a series of interviews over dinner, a movie and a cup of coffee. And even I can’t say how long the application process will take. That’s just life. No matter how easy some answers are, the most difficult is usually the correct one.
Tick, tock, tick, tock…
I’ll probably hear that in my head from time to time, sounding like a death toll, coinciding with the beating of my heart. I will just keep on hoping that someday, sooner rather than later, I’ll never hear that clock again, for the sound of the beat of my heart is louder than the ticking of that damn biological clock. I will just keep on hoping that I will realize that what is more important to hear is that beating rather than that ticking. I will just keep on hoping that my Faith in Him and Love for Life will be enough for now to push the ticking sound at the back of my head.
Hope, in this occasion as well as in many other times in my life, is and will always be the one that keeps me going.
Life indeed has its surprises...sometimes confusion with a bit of panic comes along with it. I don't know if there's a grand conspiracy somewhere for all of these musings among my single unattached friends, but somehow a similar twinge of panic is "in" nowadays for us singletons. Don't fret, it's just a phase... it's just a matter how you look at the situation...put it in a different perspective, and you'll discover that there are many things around you to be glad about.
ReplyDelete