Can't Complain

"If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." Maya Angelou (b. 1928), African-American author, poet laureate, performer, composer

I don't know how many starts and beginnings I've made. Too many to count. Diets, exercise, resolutions, even stories and novels. I usually don't have the attitude and patience to end them properly and some that I've intended initially to be a lifelone process, I stopped before I even knew I wanted to stop.

But that's okay. That is really okay with me. I like beginnings. I like the feel of excitement that rushes through me when I start something new, when I change something and I get to be excited about doing it for the first time. Of course, you'll say that there are many set backs, problems that will occur along the way that'll make me stop. But I will tell you now that those problems aren't the ones that made me stop, it's just me. I made me stop.

I'll have to give an example, right?

Like this year, one of my vows or resolutions, if you say so, was that I will finally volunteer. It's three months in the year already and I still haven't found the time. It's not the lack of opportunity or the lack of time. It's the lack of will. I'm lazy, impatient and I want my friends to be volunteering with me. So I still haven't done it. You see the pattern now?

Like dieting, exercising, or even a new hobby. I will be midway there and bam! I will be impatient (slow results), lazy (bed seems a better idea), and feeling all sorts of negative feelings about myself (I'm not good enough, why is it so hard?, this is not for me, better luck next time...yada yada yada...etc. etc.). It's all about me. My attitude. When something is not right, I complain. I like complaining. It's my one pleasure in life that I do so well. So I complain. But maybe next time, I can complain and still continue what I promised myself I will do. I think that sounds like a better idea.

"Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feather mattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable." - Maya Angelou

Aside from complaining, self-pitying is one of my favorite past times. I will not go into it for I will only sound infinitely more pathetic than I already am. Read my previous blogs and you'll see the utter lack of self-esteem (sometimes) and therefore the presence of the ever reliable Self-pity.

"You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are, what you can rise from, how you can still come out of it." - Maya Angelou

Going back, I like beginnings. But I end things prematurely because of all these negative attitudes and negative mindset. But I think I also like endings because I know that I can somehow begin again.

Now, I know myself a whole lot better than anyone can know me. Even if someone suggests otherwise, I also know that I can think about it and analyze myself to validate if it's true or not. And I like myself better. Sometimes I don't, but more often than not, I do like myself better.

Well, probably because I know my strengths, my weaknesses. I can rattle on and on about myself if given the chance. When asked to describe myself, I do not have a hard time thinking of what to say but of what NOT to say. I like interviews because it's easy for me. Some people have a hard time thinking of what to say, I don't. Not only because I like talking and I like talking about myself, but because it's easy for me. I already know what to say. I think some people are afraid to be asked those questions because they just don't know the answer themselves.

"Nothing will work unless you do. " - Maya Angelou

And so. Here's the part that I like. I don't know if I made sense with all my ramblings but it's time for me to change my attitude and my mindset. I cannot do it overnight and I may be plagued by anxieties once in a while in the middle of the night (I can almost guarantee that that will happen), but I will write my mantra right now so I can repeat it over and over again. (If you haven't noticed, I like quotes, and it's my way of reminding myself that other people, great people, also think like me. Hehe. And some bears repeating and repeating....)


When in fear, Trust in God. He has His Own Plans for Me.

I will think about My Goals and not what others Expect of me.

I will always look at the glass half-full, not half-empty.

If it's not meant to be, there must be a reason Why not.

I will not be negative.

I will reach My goals in my Own Pace and my Own Time.

It's okay to fail. It's okay to fail most of the time. The important thing is how many times I get up and start all over again.

No worries. Worries give worrying lines on my face (and pounds on my body) so No worries.

Do it now, not later.

(And I will always cross my fingers when I say all these to myself.)

Finally, list down all the things I want in Life. After all, it's simple really --- "Ask for what you want and be prepared to get it." says Maya Angelou. I believe her yes, but I believe more in Me and in Him.