My Heart's Desire

"So it will be miracles and wonders that you'll be after, is it?" He looked around Dunstan's one-room cottage again. It began to rain then, a gentle pattering on the thatch above them.

"Oh very well," said the tall gentleman, a trifle testily, "a miracle, a wonder. Tomorrow, you shall attain your Heart's Desire. Now here's your money," ....



- StarDust, Neil Gaiman

I still remembered that first meeting of the bookclub I joined (I also convinced my Bespren to accompany me). Days before the said first meeting, we were emailed the first title of our first book, StarDust written by Neil Gaiman. I didn't even know who Gaiman was at the time, but I was excited to meet people who share the same enthusiasm I have regarding reading and reverence of books (and to learn more book titles that comes highly recommended by book enthusiasts!), that I managed to buy a copy only the day of the meeting itself. I wasted too much energy on excitement rather than reading, so it seemed. Minutes before the meeting, Bespren and I were scanning, skimming and trying to absorbed the gist of the book in 15 minutes. It is so just like us to be so excited about something, that we forget the most basic of things. And so when the meeting formally started and everyone was gushing about the book, we were left wide-eyed, curious and interested about details that we asked questions like a madman, or shall we say like someone who didn't really read the book.

Through the years, only twice had I found myself actually reading the book. But of course, given that we've discussed the book inside and out, I find that my interest waned and I just skipped to the best parts.

And I, inadvertently, failed to experience the magic that is reading.

Gaiman certainly knows magic. I can imagine him and JK Rowling talking for hours at a time, while Tolkien (let's say if he were to lived in the same timeline as Rowling and Gaiman) and Eco putting their two cents in, every now and then. They will be the magic circle of magic. Eco, certainly does not tell stories of goblins, hippogriffs and faeries, but he can write stories about Men that will seem almost as much a mystery to us as mermaids and centaurs.

Since I haven't heard of Gaiman before the bookclub, and haven't read StarDust from cover to cover until last night, then how come I know of him? The bookclub planted the seed in my head that he's a good storyteller. So I read American Gods and bought the latest novel, Neverwhere (which I will finally read tonight! I started reading it so many times before, but Harry and Draco keep distracting me) And from there, I found out that Gaiman created the Sandman comics series. Omg. If the illustration and stories of the Sandman aren't enough for me to sing praises, then American Gods and StarDust certainly put a stamp into it.

I was feeling dejected, out of place, very lonely and quite desperate and panicky these days and I can't seem to shake it off by trying to replace my blood with coffee or tiring my eyes out with H/D stories, so as I said so in my last blog entry, I'll escape this reality by reading StarDust.

It certainly feels good to escape this reality for a while.

In StarDust, I found a world filled with faeries, witches, elves, spells and lots and lots of magic. A place where one can buy bottled dreams, rings of eternity and a frozen charm. In this reality, I can have the adventure of a lifetime trying to find a Fallen Star and finally, getting my Heart's Desire.

For a while there, I was thinking of our God, posing as an ordinary man, (or woman) coming to me and telling me that He'll give me a miracle, a wonder, that is, my Heart's Desire on the morrow. I certainly slept soundly last night, and woke up with a smile on my face, just because. And I can imagine Him sighing exasperatedly at my means of escape from reality.

My Heart's Desire.

Who knows in what way, or form or from where or when will I finally find my Heart's Desire? Will I meet him through a friend? Or will he ask me what time is it when I am having a cup of coffee waiting for a friend? Or will our grocery carts bump each other in the Hair Care aisle? Maybe I will meet him while I'm browsing through the latest Bob Ong book? Maybe it will be next week, or two months from now or a even -*sighs* - a year? (cries softly...oh okay, wails and thump head on the wall) Who knows?

That's why I love books. Gaiman's StarDust seems like any old fantasy book, filled with cliched magical beings and long quests. But it also brought me Hope, and a Smile, that maybe, just maybe, someone special and magical and all-powerful is listening to my wish and with a wave of His hand, will finally, at long last, bestow upon me the (second) greatest of gifts -- My Heart's Desire.

*For the Sci-Fi/ Fantasy Genre, I highly recommend Star Wars series and Gaiman's works (The American Gods & StarDust - I haven't finished reading Neverwhere yet). I'd like to explore this genre, so feel free to recommend titles and authors of similar works. - Thanks!