That Time of the Year

It's that time of the year again, when I'm feeling mellow and nostalgic, yet happy and excited. Christmas brings it all to me. But also I'll remember all the headaches that goes with it. Packed malls, bumper to bumper traffic and the irresistable lure of spending more and more in useless things. Plus, all the calories that are associated with Christmas. Gah! (As if I didn't gain enough pounds over the year!)



Still, I get a pang of nostalgia every time I hear Christmas songs played over the sound system in every shopping mall these days. Maybe because another Christmas will come and go and I still don't have anyone special and the new year is still a big unknown to me.



I believe, and I conclude that Christmas magnifies your feelings. If your happy and excited about the things going on in your life, you'll feel doubly happy. You'll smell Christmas all over you, shiver while basking in the cool December air, and look forward to all the Christmas parties, exchange gifts, puto bumbong and bibingka you can eat.



But if you're feeling down, and lonely, Christmas will push you to the brink of a nervous breakdown because it somehow excludes you from everyone if you're not happy. You'll feel stupid attending all those parties while each and everyone is with their special someone. You'll be grumpy about all those happy shoppers because they are causing major traffic jams. Christmas family reunions are a nightmare for single people. And the ham, cheese, puto bumbong and bibingka are enemies of those trying to lose pounds over the holidays. On top of all these, the carol singing and gay atmosphere everywhere will grate on your nerves because you don't belong with all the happy people.



Now, if you're stuck in between like me, then Christmas will be more confusing than ever. Sometimes I get lonely, other times I bounce with excitement. I love Christmas, and it's one thing that truly defines Jesus' birthday for me, all the celebration in His name. But I also hate all the pretentiousness everybody brings into the Christmas celebration. I'm often caught up in one, so I shouldn't be one to talk. And to tell you the truth, I often do get grumpy, and sometimes I even make Scrooge look Christmas-happy by comparison.



Okay, I'm just rambling on and on. What I wanted to say is that I'm torn between being excited and being lonely about the coming Christmas. But what the heck, I don't think I'll have time to be lonely. We're selling pastries, second semester is starting and I'm trying to lose weight. Those will surely keep me busy and tense and stressed enough for the coming holidays, that I won't have time to be lonely.



Besides, it's His birthday. And I'm going to party like it's His birthday.



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(Go figure I'll end this rambling, making even less sense than the rest of the entry. Gah!)