Have you ever hated watching a TV show and yet you are mystifyingly, unmistakably glued to watching it? Today, Studio 23 showed again the last episode of creepy bighead Dawson and I guess I was just a bit teeny weenie affected by it all. Okay, a lot. As much as I hate to admit it, I liked Jen’s final words to her daughter and I like that Pacey and Joey ended up together (Yey!!! Although what I would really want is for Pacey to get another girl other than Joey girl-with-the-most-irritating-smile Potter.) I will plead guilty of insanity for future reference, if this confession comes out. I justify it to myself by saying that I like watching Joshua Jackson. He made the show looks good each and every time he smiles (never mind that he’s quite pudgy…now I can say I like men of all shapes and sizes!).
First off, why do I hate this show? It’s got this love triangle thing, where the girl can’t decide who she really wants (I mean come on, between the charming, funny, smart and good looking Pacey and the creepy crawly Dawson, who, as far as I can tell, doesn’t really have any redeeming qualities to speak of, why is it so hard to choose?). That is why I hate this show. What's with this girl who can't decide?I’m like a guy thinking this way.
Now why did I watch the reruns? You see, it’s got this love triangle thing going on, where the girl gets to have two guys who will always be in love with and pining for her. That is why I am unexplainably glued to this Capeside madness. And just like that, I’ve become a girl again, watching something that is crap and defending her actions to all and sundry.
For my part, this is what I learned. (Hah! Don’t ever tell I just did a life note from Dawson’s Creep!) We are constantly faced with two choices, two roads, two paths and two possible decisions that confuses us to no end, and we, just like her, often ended up delaying making the decision as long as we can, and run away from it like hell. Sighing, when the guy went away and we don’t have to decide to let go, because he already went away. Like I said, afraid to make decisions. I observed that we girls want to delay the bad breaking-it-off-with-someone decisions, more than the good-I'm-choosing-you choices, as long as possible because we are just plainly afraid. In this example, of probably being alone, of being someone undesirable. We want to be able to say that someone wants us, even if that someone resembles creepy crawly Dawson.
But in the end, as cliché as it may sounds, the answer is right with us all along. We know the right decision but we’re delaying making it. The choice is easy to make, the decision is always there, and we just have to find the courage to make it. Courage, my friends, is not something a lot of women my age have. I will not claim to have courage, as I haven’t walked down that crossroads yet, but well, it takes a real character to end something that feels so damn good, just because it is actually really bad. When I meet someone who is able to do that, I’ll be the first to tell you.
But I do wish for a man like Pacey in my life. For the sappy record, Pacey said that loving Joey was enough for him because at least it made him feel alive - but he wanted her to move on and be happy, so he would let her off the hook and set her free. (Awwww, let’s add sweet to that list, shall we?) I promised, cross my heart, if I had to choose between someone else and someone like Pacey (looks and all), I wouldn’t take long to come up with an answer.
Unless of course, if that other guy turns out to be Eminem. ;)
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