"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."
- Margaret Mitchell
Two of my friends are on the verge of a breakthrough. One is currently communicating with her ex-boyfriend, whom I daresay, loathed her with a passion. And the other is going to find the chance, after nearly ten years, to speak to his secret love in college. Ah...stories beneath the stories.
My friend (with the ex) probably feels that I don't know what it’s about, and she's right, I probably don't. First off, I haven't had any serious romantic relationship, so I wouldn't know the kind of bonding that entails. Second, I can't imagine myself with that kind of guy. I'm a masochist yes, but I won’t be with a guy who'll keep hurling insults at me every chance he gets. I desperately want to be in a relationship and I'm really lonely, but I'll be worse off with a guy who doesn't respect me and who's only trying to prove a point to himself and to everyone and who's just probably horny (even some horny guy who I don't have a past with probably has more respect for me than her ex-boyfriend does for her).
My friend tells me, I'm everything that her ex-boyfriend hates. Tee hee. See? We haven’t met yet and we know that we couldn’t be put in the same room for murder will surely ensue.
For one thing, I don’t like being told how to live my life (like who my friends should be), and not even my parents could get me to report every action of every minute, for the longest time that they were trying, so why should he? Is he God, expecting me to confess everything so he'll judge me afterwards? Oh come on. And she really thinks everything is for her own good. I have to give that guy some credit, it takes a genius to train your girlfriend to tell you everything, even after you've broken up.
Anyway, so what's my concern in this? I apologized to my friend the other night for voicing my opinions so harshly. And I'm just meddling really. But would like to take note so if it happens to me, I'll have this to read and maybe it'll be useful. (And I think I have to apologize again to my friend for printing and publishing my opinion.) Oh well, it isn't my life. It's just sad to see a friend falls into a destructive pattern again and she isn't even aware of it. But maybe she's happier that way, although, I can't imagine why. Still, it isn't my life, and different strokes for different folks. I just hope she knows exactly what she wants, what she's doing and she'll be happy with whatever she decides to do. After all, she's not allowed to complain to her friends afterwards. If she still has friends left by then, that is.
Hmmm, from destructive exes to secret love.
I like this second part better. And I'll really take note of this. This will be short as the time when my guy friend meets his college love hasn't happened yet (wait for my Bicol trip entry...it'll be in that blog) but I want to stress something. Although people will say I’m a pessimist, I believe I’m just a realist. I believe in true love, marriage and can’t take my eyes off of you kind of sappiness, but I don’t believe in forsake everything for love (blergh!), happily ever after and it’s you and me against the world (gah!). So, I believe in second chances, not with destructive relationships, but the kind of chance you get to finally profess that long held secret love in your heart.
Funny, because this guy friend and I have always been flirting with each other. Even when we’re both looking at True Love and Kit like they were dreams that couldn’t be made into a reality. And I like our relationship like that. I enjoy teasing and flirting with him. And this time, unlike with my other friend with the ex, I know what he’s going through. I understand how it is to love from afar, admiring everything about that person and secretly longing to have the chance to just --- be friends for starters, I supposed. I am not stupid as to think that I’ll be really in love with someone that I don’t really know, except in college.
Suffice it to say, among the four of us, he’ll be the only one who’ll get the chance. The object of his college affection will make an appearance in Oca’s wedding. And I think I’m more excited about it than he is. Well, it’s easy to get excited for your friend, but I know it’s harder when you’re the one involved. I keep telling him, we’re old enough and mature enough to talk as adults, but look who’s talking. Me, who’s always just a little bit nervous in having coffee at Coffee Bean in Makati just because Jasper said he saw TL (True Love) there one time.
Anyway, it’s not me, so yes, I’m excited. I’ve already told Pare that we will endeavor to leave them alone and let things take its own course. That is, if my friend will ever get the nerve to say something that will eventually leads to a date or whatever. Anything will be an improvement, because they are not really talking and now, they are somehow exchanging texts! How thrilling! (I can imagine what I would feel if True Love and I were exchanging texts! Hehe, I feel like being back in college again.)
I’m meddling again. Well, I would like to say that I’m just giving them a little push. Especially if it will lead to him and his own True Love to explore that road that was not opened to them before but something that they can think of walking through in the near future if my friend plays his cards right. Nevertheless, I like these kind of second chances, it warms my heart, and it makes me smile.
Just because, it gives someone like me hope that maybe, there are new opportunities, but there are also second chances with old love.
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