Don't show me frogs and snakes
And listen for my scream,
If I'm afraid at all
It's only in my dreams.
- Maya Angelou, Life Doesn't Frighten Me At All
As the first day of the year dawned on me, I opened my eyes to see if it'll look any differently. I can hear distant sounds of firecrackers, probably leftover from the previous night, fading into the background. I looked at my arms, thighs and stomach, no difference, probably a little heavier solely because of the huge amount of food and drinks consumed last night. It feels no different from yesterday, but my whole being is telling me that it is. It is.
I can feel it telling me that this is the start of a brand new year, another year to fight, another year to live. This is the first day of a new hope and a stronger faith.
And I'm going to need it.
Faith. Hope. Love. These are essentials to live. I need to hold on to these, otherwise, my own fears will swallow me whole, and life will cover me with dust and throw me in the pit. I avoid Negative thoughts like a traumatized child seemingly oblivious to the past. I avoid it like the plague. I refuse to wallow in self-pity, although sometimes it creeps past through all my protective barriers, worming its way in. I refuse to enter the dark recesses of my mind consumed with fear, anger and desperation. Or I won't be able to get out.
Ah, life is just as it is.
It's hard to pity yourself the lack of this and that, when you only have to turn on the TV and see countless people lost everything they have. It's hard not to love, when new people keep coming in your life. It's hard not to hope, when the beginning of each day brings fresh beginnings and new starts. And I will continue to have faith, because when fear and desperation overcome love and hope, you only need to hold on to your faith, and it'll all turn out alright.
Why am I spouting serious thoughts so early in the morning? I don't know. I guess it's just my way of making sense of it all, and telling myself what's important.
After all, it's a brand new year. Life continues.
So will I.
Friday, December 31, 2004
Thursday, December 30, 2004
25 Things to Do in 2005
I like making lists. And there's nothing more I like than making TO DO lists. Sometimes there are more checks than crosses. Sometimes, some things are just not possible or feasible to do anymore. Well, at least I put it there so I know what I really wanted, and I'm not so rigid as not to change my mind.
So here it is. What I plan to do in 2005.
1. Find a kindergarten teaching job (even if it's across the globe).
2. Be the kind of teacher I would want MY teacher to be.
3. Play more with Chewy, his days are numbered.
4. Have more patience, resilience (in teaching, Lola, and for #6).
5. Go to Palawan (Underground River, Honda Bay, Coron) and dive.
6. Look for True Love (hmmm...).
7. Resolve to be fit, if not lose some fat (to prepare for more strenuous activities).
8. Stay pretty, always (do not go out looking frumpy).
9. Take care of skin (facials & lotions), hair (relaxed) and feet (foot spas).
10. Be updated in movies, music and the current events.
11. Fly to somewhere exotic but out of the country, like Phnom Penh or Vientienne.
12. Save some, even if it's only for travels.
13. Try not to be too depressed at turning 29. (Gah! How can I not be?!?)
14. Go to Batanes, even if it takes one day to get there. (via land transport...tee hee.)
15. Wait patiently for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in July, Bob Ong's new book whenever, and read more books aside from bestsellers.
16. Don't forget to go out with old friends.
17. Do take inventory of clothes, shoes and bags before buying another.
18. Help initiate take off of Mom's (family) business.
19. Keep room tidy as I can make it.
20. Take care of Mad Max.
21. Regular breast check up every 6 months. (March, September)
22. Daydream less, go out more.
23. Don't judge a book by its cover. (Or, at least I'll try not to ask for pictures...)
24. Avoid loneliness-, desperation-inducing thoughts.
25. Volunteer.
Oh well, hopefully I can at least accomplish half, if not more.
So here it is. What I plan to do in 2005.
1. Find a kindergarten teaching job (even if it's across the globe).
2. Be the kind of teacher I would want MY teacher to be.
3. Play more with Chewy, his days are numbered.
4. Have more patience, resilience (in teaching, Lola, and for #6).
5. Go to Palawan (Underground River, Honda Bay, Coron) and dive.
6. Look for True Love (hmmm...).
7. Resolve to be fit, if not lose some fat (to prepare for more strenuous activities).
8. Stay pretty, always (do not go out looking frumpy).
9. Take care of skin (facials & lotions), hair (relaxed) and feet (foot spas).
10. Be updated in movies, music and the current events.
11. Fly to somewhere exotic but out of the country, like Phnom Penh or Vientienne.
12. Save some, even if it's only for travels.
13. Try not to be too depressed at turning 29. (Gah! How can I not be?!?)
14. Go to Batanes, even if it takes one day to get there. (via land transport...tee hee.)
15. Wait patiently for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince in July, Bob Ong's new book whenever, and read more books aside from bestsellers.
16. Don't forget to go out with old friends.
17. Do take inventory of clothes, shoes and bags before buying another.
18. Help initiate take off of Mom's (family) business.
19. Keep room tidy as I can make it.
20. Take care of Mad Max.
21. Regular breast check up every 6 months. (March, September)
22. Daydream less, go out more.
23. Don't judge a book by its cover. (Or, at least I'll try not to ask for pictures...)
24. Avoid loneliness-, desperation-inducing thoughts.
25. Volunteer.
Oh well, hopefully I can at least accomplish half, if not more.
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Wednesday, December 29, 2004
Single Life
This is how it has been. And I'm afraid this is how it will always be.
...Walking in Greenbelt or Glorietta with your sister and retired mother, not daring to stare enviously at couples everywhere holding each other's hands.
...Attending Christmas Family reunions taking photos and taking care of your younger cousins because you don't have your own family or a boyfriend that will keep you busy.
...Christmas means impending questions about your continuous singleblessedness, your being picky or your lack of appeal.
...When you meet someone, a friend, or an acquaintance from school, you don't know if you'll be on the defensive or just stay resigned to the fate of answering on the negative in response to questions regarding significant other or loved one.
This is depressing the hell out of me.
So I'll stop. Even though I can make a hundred and one items on this list. I'll think about more cheerful things.
Like my livejournal xrated fiction.
GTG.
...Walking in Greenbelt or Glorietta with your sister and retired mother, not daring to stare enviously at couples everywhere holding each other's hands.
...Attending Christmas Family reunions taking photos and taking care of your younger cousins because you don't have your own family or a boyfriend that will keep you busy.
...Christmas means impending questions about your continuous singleblessedness, your being picky or your lack of appeal.
...When you meet someone, a friend, or an acquaintance from school, you don't know if you'll be on the defensive or just stay resigned to the fate of answering on the negative in response to questions regarding significant other or loved one.
This is depressing the hell out of me.
So I'll stop. Even though I can make a hundred and one items on this list. I'll think about more cheerful things.
Like my livejournal xrated fiction.
GTG.
Monday, December 27, 2004
Natural Disaster
Dreams fail,
Unguarded fears on homeward streets
- Maya Angelou
I felt guilty for drowning in Johnny Depp's charms and rattling on and on about it when to date, almost 23,000 have died because of the great quake and the tsunamis in South Asia. I feel for these people because I know how helpless Filipinos are going to feel if we were in their shoes. We don't have high tech tsunami warning systems, we don't have vast amount of resources for disaster relief and due to our population, natural disaster is usually equated with many casualties.
On one hand, I'm thankful for the Lord for sparing us further grief brought about by natural disaster because I believe we already had our fair share in the last few months. And on the other, I praying for those affected by the quake and the tsunamis.
(And still I would like to take note that I doubly felt guilty because here I am, writing romantic drabbles to continue my fiction, and worrying about the additional two pounds I gained over the weekend, when thousands of people in Asia are suffering.)
Unguarded fears on homeward streets
- Maya Angelou
I felt guilty for drowning in Johnny Depp's charms and rattling on and on about it when to date, almost 23,000 have died because of the great quake and the tsunamis in South Asia. I feel for these people because I know how helpless Filipinos are going to feel if we were in their shoes. We don't have high tech tsunami warning systems, we don't have vast amount of resources for disaster relief and due to our population, natural disaster is usually equated with many casualties.
On one hand, I'm thankful for the Lord for sparing us further grief brought about by natural disaster because I believe we already had our fair share in the last few months. And on the other, I praying for those affected by the quake and the tsunamis.
(And still I would like to take note that I doubly felt guilty because here I am, writing romantic drabbles to continue my fiction, and worrying about the additional two pounds I gained over the weekend, when thousands of people in Asia are suffering.)
Sunday, December 26, 2004
Quake and Depp
Big Quake Hits Asia!
That's what the headline in CNN and BBC says. I've been watching since this afternoon after I woke up from my afternoon nap. But I took time off watching the news when I saw that Oprah’s guest is Johnny Depp.
Well, I just have to take the time to watch him.
He's so sexy. No question, violent reaction or even doubting Thomases allowed. Go away!
Tom Cruise is cute and adorable. Brad Pitt is handsome. Matt Damon is goodlooking in a smart kind of way. Eminem is angelic (ahem!). Daniel is innocent and shy looking. But Johnny Depp holds the 'sexy' label and only he (in my opinion) can do so with much aplomb and sultry self-denial. I like Brad in Ocean’s Eleven, Legends, and Meet Joe Black. I like watching Tom Cruise in different roles. And I adore Matt Damon in all of his movies (even the rotten ones like that horses thing). Now, Johnny Depp. That’s another story.
I’ve watched him every Monday night (if I’m not sorely mistaken) in 21 Jumpstreet with Holly Robinson and Dustin Nguyen. I’ve seen him aged beautifully right before my very watchful eyes. I love his quirky movies, Benny and Joon, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and Pirates. I even watched his earlier movie Private Resort (my sis and I liked that movie before for some reason) and his blah and what-the-heck-I’m-going-to-watch-this-because-of-johnny-depp movies like Don Juan, Sleepy Hollow and Secret Window.
Of course my favorite Johnny Depp movie is Chocolat *pant, pant*. From being Tom Hanson to Jack Sparrow, there isn’t much difference in his sex appeal, only it became more …tangible, I think. Between his sexy drawl and endearing downcast deep set eyes, his sex appeal is almost tangible to the point of making itself known to your five senses. He’s right there at my number four slot of Men I want to be stuck in an island with, after Em, Dan and Matt. (I can imagine the four of them and myself in an island….)
Gah.
I just have to waste an entire blog entry for Johnny Depp (Sorry for those people reading my blog expecting intelligent, thought-provoking, profound entries...this is definitely not one of those!). I don’t care what they say. He gives sexy a new meaning in Chocolat especially when he bites that chocolate. Yum! Okay, okay. I’m stopping this right now. I have to go get my Chocolat DVD and watch. I think I’ll be sleeping with a smile to my face.
That's what the headline in CNN and BBC says. I've been watching since this afternoon after I woke up from my afternoon nap. But I took time off watching the news when I saw that Oprah’s guest is Johnny Depp.
Well, I just have to take the time to watch him.
He's so sexy. No question, violent reaction or even doubting Thomases allowed. Go away!
Tom Cruise is cute and adorable. Brad Pitt is handsome. Matt Damon is goodlooking in a smart kind of way. Eminem is angelic (ahem!). Daniel is innocent and shy looking. But Johnny Depp holds the 'sexy' label and only he (in my opinion) can do so with much aplomb and sultry self-denial. I like Brad in Ocean’s Eleven, Legends, and Meet Joe Black. I like watching Tom Cruise in different roles. And I adore Matt Damon in all of his movies (even the rotten ones like that horses thing). Now, Johnny Depp. That’s another story.
I’ve watched him every Monday night (if I’m not sorely mistaken) in 21 Jumpstreet with Holly Robinson and Dustin Nguyen. I’ve seen him aged beautifully right before my very watchful eyes. I love his quirky movies, Benny and Joon, What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, and Pirates. I even watched his earlier movie Private Resort (my sis and I liked that movie before for some reason) and his blah and what-the-heck-I’m-going-to-watch-this-because-of-johnny-depp movies like Don Juan, Sleepy Hollow and Secret Window.
Of course my favorite Johnny Depp movie is Chocolat *pant, pant*. From being Tom Hanson to Jack Sparrow, there isn’t much difference in his sex appeal, only it became more …tangible, I think. Between his sexy drawl and endearing downcast deep set eyes, his sex appeal is almost tangible to the point of making itself known to your five senses. He’s right there at my number four slot of Men I want to be stuck in an island with, after Em, Dan and Matt. (I can imagine the four of them and myself in an island….)
Gah.
I just have to waste an entire blog entry for Johnny Depp (Sorry for those people reading my blog expecting intelligent, thought-provoking, profound entries...this is definitely not one of those!). I don’t care what they say. He gives sexy a new meaning in Chocolat especially when he bites that chocolate. Yum! Okay, okay. I’m stopping this right now. I have to go get my Chocolat DVD and watch. I think I’ll be sleeping with a smile to my face.
Saturday, December 25, 2004
Song of Christmas
I like the song 'All I Want for Christmas Is You' sang by Mariah Carey but I heard that from the movie Love Actually. I've posted some parts of the lyrics in my previous blogs already. But when Lorraine pointed out that Britney Spears Xmas song fits me better, I just have to check it out and it really is better.
The day turned out okay. Relatives were somewhat understanding of their unemployed and spinster niece. The married cousins weren't around to compare, and so it was okay. I received two out of 12 of my wish lists (wee!) which is more than I could hope for. And all my gifts are wonderful and much appreciated.
But for today, I think it's more fitting for me to just post the lyrics of this whole song rather than take pains in elaborating my point.
The day turned out okay. Relatives were somewhat understanding of their unemployed and spinster niece. The married cousins weren't around to compare, and so it was okay. I received two out of 12 of my wish lists (wee!) which is more than I could hope for. And all my gifts are wonderful and much appreciated.
But for today, I think it's more fitting for me to just post the lyrics of this whole song rather than take pains in elaborating my point.
My Only Wish (This Year)
by Britney Spears
Last night i took a walk in the snow
Couples holding hands places to go
seems like everyone but me is in love
Santa can you hear me?
I signed my letter that i sealed with a kiss
i sent it off and just said this
i know exactly what i want this year
Santa can you hear me?
I want my baby ( baby baby )
i want someone to love me
and someone to hold
maybe, maybe (maybe maybe)
He'll be all my own in a big red bow
Santa can you hear me?
i have been so good this year
and all i want is one thing
tell me my true love is here
he's all i want just for me
underneath my Christmas tree
ill be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year
Christmas eve i just cant sleep
would i be wrong for taking a peek?
'Cause i heard that ur comming to town
Santa can you hear me?
I really hope that your on your way
with something special
for me in your sleigh
oh please make my wish come true
Santa can you hear me?
i want my baby (baby baby)
i want someone to love me
and someone to hold
Maybe maybe (maybe maybe)
We'll be all alone under the mistle toe
Santa can you hear me?
i have been so good this year
and all i want is one thing
tell me my true love is here
hes all i want just for me
underneath my christmas tree
ill be waiting here
santa thats my only wish this year
i hope my letter reaches you in time
Bring me a love i can call all mine
Cause i been so good so good this year
Cant be alone under the mistle toe
He's all i want in a big red bow
Santa can you hear me
i have been so good this year
and all i want is one thing
tell me my true love is here
he's all i want just for me
underneath my christmas tree
Ill be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year
Well he's all i want just for me
underneath my christmas tree
Ill be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year
Santa thats my only wish this year
underneath my christmas tree
Ill be waiting here
Santa thats my only wish this year
Santa thats my only wish this year
- o O o -
MERRY CHRISTMAS!
Friday, December 24, 2004
Spirit of Christmas Present
There are two sides of Christmas, or at least for me. One that always fills me with nostalgia, excitement and happy, giggly feelings, the usual reaction brought about by those announcements of so-so number of days before Christmas. And the other is that the thought of Christmas also fills me with a certain kind of dread and tomorrow will be the culmination of the dreadful feeling.
Other than the heavy traffic that litters every street in the Metro, the countless heads that wander around in malls trying to look for that perfect, useless gift and the long list of expenses usually associated with Christmas, other than these, Christmas is almost perfect.
Almost.
One rain cloud hanging over Christmas usually spells R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E-S.
Yes, those relatives that you, I mean, we have to get along with, exchange pleasantries with, and sometimes, be obligated to give gifts to, are what I'm dreading about Christmas. Usually, I dread and fear the onslaught of questions regarding my single blessedness at this ripe old age of late twenties, but it's few and far in between. So I breathed a sigh of relief afterwards. I spent Christmas day holding my breath and I wonder when can I relax, really relax, on Christmas day.
Tomorrow I'll be spending it again with relatives. My sister and cousin got married this year and my last remaining single cousin is planning to, I supposed. I, the goddess that I am, am the only one left without a boyfriend, and without plans of getting married. If they have a field day teasing me with an already sensitive topic for me, I'll not be responsible for being impolite to my elders.
Oh well.
Before I turn Scrooge again, right before your very eyes, I'd better stop writing and end my blog entry right about here and now...
Other than the heavy traffic that litters every street in the Metro, the countless heads that wander around in malls trying to look for that perfect, useless gift and the long list of expenses usually associated with Christmas, other than these, Christmas is almost perfect.
Almost.
One rain cloud hanging over Christmas usually spells R-E-L-A-T-I-V-E-S.
Yes, those relatives that you, I mean, we have to get along with, exchange pleasantries with, and sometimes, be obligated to give gifts to, are what I'm dreading about Christmas. Usually, I dread and fear the onslaught of questions regarding my single blessedness at this ripe old age of late twenties, but it's few and far in between. So I breathed a sigh of relief afterwards. I spent Christmas day holding my breath and I wonder when can I relax, really relax, on Christmas day.
Tomorrow I'll be spending it again with relatives. My sister and cousin got married this year and my last remaining single cousin is planning to, I supposed. I, the goddess that I am, am the only one left without a boyfriend, and without plans of getting married. If they have a field day teasing me with an already sensitive topic for me, I'll not be responsible for being impolite to my elders.
Oh well.
Before I turn Scrooge again, right before your very eyes, I'd better stop writing and end my blog entry right about here and now...
Thursday, December 23, 2004
One Wish
Tee hee. Just like to take note that Liza gave me a gift from one of my Wish List. Happy!!!
Can't say anything anymore.
Censored.
That's the only clue.
*giggles*
(gleefully looking at my gift)
Can't say anything anymore.
Censored.
That's the only clue.
*giggles*
(gleefully looking at my gift)
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Last Hurrah in Bicol
As the saying goes...when you see the tip of Mt. Mayon, you're still a virgin. As if that can certify and tell you what you, of all people, should already know.
I barely made it to the Cubao on time. My dad was dillydallying and we were late in going out so I have to jumped out of the car and try to catch a cab to Araneta Center. But the taxis were all filled and I need to drag my bags up to MRT. I keep texting Jody, who's already at the bus station (actually, he thought the bus will leave at 9am instead of 9pm...) and he said, it's okay, the bus just arrived.
Whew, I was hoping then that was not a start of a bad weekend.
It wasn't. Just the opposite.
The almost eleven hour bus trip wasn't that bad as I've been sleeping. When I opened my eyes, it was 6 in the morning and I texted Pare so that we can all have breakfast together when we finally reach Naga. Pare and Kit were already at the lobby when we arrived. I haven't seen Kit since college and she changed so little. Just the hair I think. We weren't close in college but it seems so easy to connect and be friendly with someone who attended the same college as you do for 4 years. So many things to catch up on, talked about and reminiscing abound.
Besides, she's a friend's True Love.
True Love. I'm glad that Oca and Dang finally tied the knots. It was funny because it felt like the amazing race for us. After breakfast, we all trudged up to the bedroom to talk for a while but after an hour or so, we have to get ready for the trip to the Church. The Church was an hour and a half from Naga, and it was worth the trip.
We went to the wrong Church at first, where Kit and I even sat at the back of the church to look at the wedding taking place there, but then, we found out that it was the wrong one. Scrambling to get to the right church because the Best Man (Pare) is with us, we arrived at the church just on time. After a few pictures, we were ready for the wedding.
Posing with the Best Man
It was poignant and meaningful, just like all the weddings. But just like all the other weddings, this one brings out the romantic in all of us. That someday, maybe, just maybe, each one of us can find someone that we can bring to the altar and exchange vows with. Sometimes it makes me hopeful, other times it just leads me to despair at my own state of affairs. That wedding was one of the better times.
With the happy Newlyweds
The reception at a nearby resort was even more beautiful. The backdrop and decorative lights give it the festive feel it deserves and the program was not boring. The food was good and the company was great. Pare, Kit, Jody, Bien, Ferdie, Rey and I were having a good time. Basically we just like to take pictures. He he. We oohhed and aahhed at the fireworks and we laughed and the guys drink and got a headstart on the guys' plan to get as wasted as possible.
beautiful reception
next time Pare, open your eyes...
Of course, after the reception, the guys wanted to go out and drink some more. The beer is cheap (5 for 100pesos - imagine, a bar charging 20 bucks per bottle! That really feels like I'm in the province like all those times when I was still in Philamlife and going around the country...hmmm) and the talk was about True Love. It doesn't get better than that.
Here's looking for True Love
Pare and I had a grand time teasing Jody since Kit was there. It isn't everyday that your college crush was suddenly within your reach. I can imagine what I would go through if what's-his-name was there. Gah! Pare would be a nightmare. That night, I was part of Jody's nightmare. Tee hee. Bien even told us of Erin Asuncion. That completes the circle. Whats-his-name, Precious, Kit and Erin. The True Loves. (Kit can't think of anyone she liked so much in the past that can pass for her True Love) Ferdie is getting married, and Rey already is married, so no need to contemplate running into their True Love.
Enough about love.
It's depressing.
Actually, that night was filled with stories from the past. And that's something everybody needs to escape the reality of the present for a while. We laughed, we drink and we were merry. Just what the doctor ordered for Christmas.
Our next stop - Legaspi.
Woke up early (Kit and Ferdie even managed to attend early morning mass even though we slept at 3 am) and ate pandesal and coffee. Ah. Fine morning. If I can eat pandesal and drink coffee, my day already started on the right foot. We dressed up and made our way to the bus station so we can go to Legaspi. We already spotted the volcano on the way there and the tip can be seen. Yey!
When we got there, clouds were hanging over the tip, but we took pictures nevertheless. Pare posing for crazy shots, Bien, Kit and Jody clicking the digicam away, and I, I was looking for the perfect shot. As always, I can't find what I was looking for. So I just take what I could get.
smiling for a Friendster pic
certified virgins as the saying goes...
Lunch was spent in a tiny hut in a restaurant in Cagsawa (did I spell that right?) and was devoured by 7 hungry people in minutes amidst loud talk of anything and everything. Kit and I went to buy bags in nearby stores after lunch. The afternoon sun burning down on our skin, we tried to limit our shopping time. Afterall, we still have Legaspi city.
Travel Shopping Tip: The bags in stores in Cagsawa is cheaper than those in Legaspi Market. We haven't compared it with those in Naga, so you can also check the bags there.
last one before saying goodbye to Bicol
We finally reached Legaspi City where I bought my toffee pili candies at Locsin's (which I love!) and we dragged ourselves to the market. The guys bought bags and pasalubongs and we waited for our ride. It took the two women on the van (who we're sharing the van with) two hours to finally get ready to leave so we were kinda short of time before 9pm bus ride from Naga to Manila.
As soon as the van drove out of Legaspi, the guys and I were asleep, leaving Kit and Jody the only ones awake to make conversation. When I woke up in the middle of the trip to Naga, I find myself getting the brunt of a cold burst of wind from the window in front of me. Gah! Why can't these women be sensitive or considerate enough, I ask you. I was miserable from then on for the rest of the ride home, so I can't say anything anymore.
Another Travel Note: I don't know if I'm just hungry, but I like the food in Bigg Topps in the bus terminal. I ordered ToSiLog with Coke. I'm happy.
It was a weekend fit to end the year with. Gaining new friends and reminiscing with old friends, that's what makes it unforgettable. That and a whole lot of great pictures.
Next stop: Hopefully, Palawan. Yey!
I barely made it to the Cubao on time. My dad was dillydallying and we were late in going out so I have to jumped out of the car and try to catch a cab to Araneta Center. But the taxis were all filled and I need to drag my bags up to MRT. I keep texting Jody, who's already at the bus station (actually, he thought the bus will leave at 9am instead of 9pm...) and he said, it's okay, the bus just arrived.
Whew, I was hoping then that was not a start of a bad weekend.
It wasn't. Just the opposite.
The almost eleven hour bus trip wasn't that bad as I've been sleeping. When I opened my eyes, it was 6 in the morning and I texted Pare so that we can all have breakfast together when we finally reach Naga. Pare and Kit were already at the lobby when we arrived. I haven't seen Kit since college and she changed so little. Just the hair I think. We weren't close in college but it seems so easy to connect and be friendly with someone who attended the same college as you do for 4 years. So many things to catch up on, talked about and reminiscing abound.
Besides, she's a friend's True Love.
True Love. I'm glad that Oca and Dang finally tied the knots. It was funny because it felt like the amazing race for us. After breakfast, we all trudged up to the bedroom to talk for a while but after an hour or so, we have to get ready for the trip to the Church. The Church was an hour and a half from Naga, and it was worth the trip.
We went to the wrong Church at first, where Kit and I even sat at the back of the church to look at the wedding taking place there, but then, we found out that it was the wrong one. Scrambling to get to the right church because the Best Man (Pare) is with us, we arrived at the church just on time. After a few pictures, we were ready for the wedding.
Posing with the Best Man
It was poignant and meaningful, just like all the weddings. But just like all the other weddings, this one brings out the romantic in all of us. That someday, maybe, just maybe, each one of us can find someone that we can bring to the altar and exchange vows with. Sometimes it makes me hopeful, other times it just leads me to despair at my own state of affairs. That wedding was one of the better times.
With the happy Newlyweds
The reception at a nearby resort was even more beautiful. The backdrop and decorative lights give it the festive feel it deserves and the program was not boring. The food was good and the company was great. Pare, Kit, Jody, Bien, Ferdie, Rey and I were having a good time. Basically we just like to take pictures. He he. We oohhed and aahhed at the fireworks and we laughed and the guys drink and got a headstart on the guys' plan to get as wasted as possible.
beautiful reception
next time Pare, open your eyes...
Of course, after the reception, the guys wanted to go out and drink some more. The beer is cheap (5 for 100pesos - imagine, a bar charging 20 bucks per bottle! That really feels like I'm in the province like all those times when I was still in Philamlife and going around the country...hmmm) and the talk was about True Love. It doesn't get better than that.
Here's looking for True Love
Pare and I had a grand time teasing Jody since Kit was there. It isn't everyday that your college crush was suddenly within your reach. I can imagine what I would go through if what's-his-name was there. Gah! Pare would be a nightmare. That night, I was part of Jody's nightmare. Tee hee. Bien even told us of Erin Asuncion. That completes the circle. Whats-his-name, Precious, Kit and Erin. The True Loves. (Kit can't think of anyone she liked so much in the past that can pass for her True Love) Ferdie is getting married, and Rey already is married, so no need to contemplate running into their True Love.
Enough about love.
It's depressing.
Actually, that night was filled with stories from the past. And that's something everybody needs to escape the reality of the present for a while. We laughed, we drink and we were merry. Just what the doctor ordered for Christmas.
Our next stop - Legaspi.
Woke up early (Kit and Ferdie even managed to attend early morning mass even though we slept at 3 am) and ate pandesal and coffee. Ah. Fine morning. If I can eat pandesal and drink coffee, my day already started on the right foot. We dressed up and made our way to the bus station so we can go to Legaspi. We already spotted the volcano on the way there and the tip can be seen. Yey!
When we got there, clouds were hanging over the tip, but we took pictures nevertheless. Pare posing for crazy shots, Bien, Kit and Jody clicking the digicam away, and I, I was looking for the perfect shot. As always, I can't find what I was looking for. So I just take what I could get.
smiling for a Friendster pic
certified virgins as the saying goes...
Lunch was spent in a tiny hut in a restaurant in Cagsawa (did I spell that right?) and was devoured by 7 hungry people in minutes amidst loud talk of anything and everything. Kit and I went to buy bags in nearby stores after lunch. The afternoon sun burning down on our skin, we tried to limit our shopping time. Afterall, we still have Legaspi city.
Travel Shopping Tip: The bags in stores in Cagsawa is cheaper than those in Legaspi Market. We haven't compared it with those in Naga, so you can also check the bags there.
last one before saying goodbye to Bicol
We finally reached Legaspi City where I bought my toffee pili candies at Locsin's (which I love!) and we dragged ourselves to the market. The guys bought bags and pasalubongs and we waited for our ride. It took the two women on the van (who we're sharing the van with) two hours to finally get ready to leave so we were kinda short of time before 9pm bus ride from Naga to Manila.
As soon as the van drove out of Legaspi, the guys and I were asleep, leaving Kit and Jody the only ones awake to make conversation. When I woke up in the middle of the trip to Naga, I find myself getting the brunt of a cold burst of wind from the window in front of me. Gah! Why can't these women be sensitive or considerate enough, I ask you. I was miserable from then on for the rest of the ride home, so I can't say anything anymore.
Another Travel Note: I don't know if I'm just hungry, but I like the food in Bigg Topps in the bus terminal. I ordered ToSiLog with Coke. I'm happy.
It was a weekend fit to end the year with. Gaining new friends and reminiscing with old friends, that's what makes it unforgettable. That and a whole lot of great pictures.
Next stop: Hopefully, Palawan. Yey!
Busy Busy Bee
Gah!
I can only write two lines. I'm busy, we're busy, and we're loving it. (Or at least I do love it, I don't know with my mom and sis and Lina...)
Gotta go back to work...I think I can write my Bicol blog tomorrow.
Hopefully.
(This is not a 3-lined blog.)
I can only write two lines. I'm busy, we're busy, and we're loving it. (Or at least I do love it, I don't know with my mom and sis and Lina...)
Gotta go back to work...I think I can write my Bicol blog tomorrow.
Hopefully.
(This is not a 3-lined blog.)
Sunday, December 19, 2004
Reality Bites
It's almost ten a.m. and I've slept for 8 hours, the whole trip from Naga to Manila. I fell asleep almost as soon as the bus started to move.
It's been an exhilarating experience, my Bicol trip. It feels exactly like being back in college, with all the bickering, gimiks and vice that literally corrupts me and my friends. He he. But we like being corrupted that way. I'll write another blog for the Bicol trip, but needless to say that it's a weekend of reminiscing and being young again.
I feel old sometimes. I feel lonely every once in a while. For a while there I forgot all of these things. I forgot that I don't have a wedding in my near future. I forgot that my best friends are living on the other side of the planet. And I almost forgot that I am basking in the busy, hectic life of the city to amuse myself whenever I feel old and lonely. It was so nice to escape to the illusion of True Love and what might have been rather than to face reality.
When I heard the honks of horns everywhere, I began to wake up for I know I'm back in Manila. Sitting up straight, I looked around and it's early morning yet the city was buzzing with life. It makes me feel alive and it makes you alert. One can never get bored in the city. Lonely, yes. Bored, never.
Hmmm, heavy, slow moving, bumper to bumper traffic, Mad Max waiting for me. Honks and shouts and giggles, and smiles from my nephew and my niece. Smog, perfume and the aroma of my favorite food and dishes. The sound of my PC being turned on, to reveal my Daniel Radcliffe wallpaper. Gift wrappers strewn everywhere in my room. Ah....it's Christmastime in the city.
I'm back at home.
It's been an exhilarating experience, my Bicol trip. It feels exactly like being back in college, with all the bickering, gimiks and vice that literally corrupts me and my friends. He he. But we like being corrupted that way. I'll write another blog for the Bicol trip, but needless to say that it's a weekend of reminiscing and being young again.
I feel old sometimes. I feel lonely every once in a while. For a while there I forgot all of these things. I forgot that I don't have a wedding in my near future. I forgot that my best friends are living on the other side of the planet. And I almost forgot that I am basking in the busy, hectic life of the city to amuse myself whenever I feel old and lonely. It was so nice to escape to the illusion of True Love and what might have been rather than to face reality.
When I heard the honks of horns everywhere, I began to wake up for I know I'm back in Manila. Sitting up straight, I looked around and it's early morning yet the city was buzzing with life. It makes me feel alive and it makes you alert. One can never get bored in the city. Lonely, yes. Bored, never.
Hmmm, heavy, slow moving, bumper to bumper traffic, Mad Max waiting for me. Honks and shouts and giggles, and smiles from my nephew and my niece. Smog, perfume and the aroma of my favorite food and dishes. The sound of my PC being turned on, to reveal my Daniel Radcliffe wallpaper. Gift wrappers strewn everywhere in my room. Ah....it's Christmastime in the city.
I'm back at home.
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
Xmas Wish List
I won't ask for much this Christmas
I won't even wish for snow
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
- Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas is You
And I should have done this last month, instead of whining and ranting about a loveless existence. Anyway, I like surprises better than fulfilling wish lists. But I'd still like to enumerate the things I want for Christmas. Maybe Santa or better yet, the Lord is just waiting for me to put it all in writing.
Top Twelve Wish List for Xmas: (I like the number twelve better)
12. Black boots or Red Chuck Taylor - I'm still deciding what my look for next year would be. Understated sophistication with hint of strong woman vibe (hence, the black boots), or casual and carefree. Oh well.
11. A Puppy to keep Chewy company. I just want my baby to be happy during his twilight years. Though I'm not sure if a younger, super kulit puppy will do him good. But it will certainly make me happy! *wink, wink*
10. Hair Relaxation - I just want my hair to look straight and shiny. Don't bug me with talks of world hunger and Filipinos in poverty. I know. But this is my wish list. So I don't care.
9. Complete pampering (facial, Deep Tissue Massage, Foot reflexology, and hand spa) at The Spa - When I was still loaded, I used to go there once a month for a facial and a massage. Now, it's been two years. *sigh* I can't even remember the name of my facial service anymore. *deeper sigh*
8. Blind (or otherwise) Dates - It's Christmas and I'm lonely, so I'll shamelessly post an ad. (I can't seem to stop talking about wanting to find the One. Grrr! Oh, just indulge me. It's Christmas! Even old maids like me are allowed to whine with desperation.)Any single male, 25-35 years old, 5'5 and above. Someone who looks 5 years younger than actual age, preferred but not a requirement.
7. Gay Porn Movies (in VCD format please) - When I say gay, I mean, a male-male, or better if, young male-young male relationship (call it Barely Legal Gay Teens, hehehe). Wee! More important than Wish # 8, coz if I don't get that or that's not good enough, at least I have this. Anybody resourceful enough to give me this? *bribes you with cookies and pastries*
6. Discman (any cheap variation in Quiapo will do)/ Ipod (or any MP3 player) / or any handy music player that I'm not aware of. - It's been a year when my Discman broke and I haven't been able to satisfy my loud music craving since then. I think it's only P1500 in Quiapo. I just miss that loud pounding in my ear. The CD player in my PC is nowhere close.
5. Kindergarten Teaching Job - I worked hard for this, and now that I'm already a Professional Teacher (as it says so in my PRC ID), I'm still so afraid that I won't have a job come June. So please, refer and recommend me to anyone who has a kindergarten school. I want to teach already!!! Gah!
4. Any Free Travel, in (Palawan, Batanes, Banawe, or Surigao) or out (EU, US, Asia, or Egypt/Morocco) of the country. - I'm already wishing, might as well shoot for the stars.
3. A Business, to keep me alive and kicking - Just enough to keep me alive, with a little leisure trip every six months to keep me sane and healthy. Tee Hee. I'm not asking a lot, am I?
2. Oh, okay. World peace. No, wait. Better make that People to Save the Earth. - I want world peace. But I want people to take notice, be responsible and make actions to save the earth even more.
1. True Love. Need I say more? (And no, I don't mean that guy from college. I mean, True Love. The One, Mr. Right...that's him.)
That's it. I may not be in touch with reality, but well, I just don't do things halfway. It's called a wish list, so a wish list it is. Choose now from the list above. Or better yet, surprise me. I love surprise presents even better!
Happy Christmas shopping!
I won't even wish for snow
And I, I just wanna keep on waiting
Underneath the mistletoe
- Mariah Carey, All I Want For Christmas is You
And I should have done this last month, instead of whining and ranting about a loveless existence. Anyway, I like surprises better than fulfilling wish lists. But I'd still like to enumerate the things I want for Christmas. Maybe Santa or better yet, the Lord is just waiting for me to put it all in writing.
Top Twelve Wish List for Xmas: (I like the number twelve better)
12. Black boots or Red Chuck Taylor - I'm still deciding what my look for next year would be. Understated sophistication with hint of strong woman vibe (hence, the black boots), or casual and carefree. Oh well.
11. A Puppy to keep Chewy company. I just want my baby to be happy during his twilight years. Though I'm not sure if a younger, super kulit puppy will do him good. But it will certainly make me happy! *wink, wink*
10. Hair Relaxation - I just want my hair to look straight and shiny. Don't bug me with talks of world hunger and Filipinos in poverty. I know. But this is my wish list. So I don't care.
9. Complete pampering (facial, Deep Tissue Massage, Foot reflexology, and hand spa) at The Spa - When I was still loaded, I used to go there once a month for a facial and a massage. Now, it's been two years. *sigh* I can't even remember the name of my facial service anymore. *deeper sigh*
8. Blind (or otherwise) Dates - It's Christmas and I'm lonely, so I'll shamelessly post an ad. (I can't seem to stop talking about wanting to find the One. Grrr! Oh, just indulge me. It's Christmas! Even old maids like me are allowed to whine with desperation.)Any single male, 25-35 years old, 5'5 and above. Someone who looks 5 years younger than actual age, preferred but not a requirement.
7. Gay Porn Movies (in VCD format please) - When I say gay, I mean, a male-male, or better if, young male-young male relationship (call it Barely Legal Gay Teens, hehehe). Wee! More important than Wish # 8, coz if I don't get that or that's not good enough, at least I have this. Anybody resourceful enough to give me this? *bribes you with cookies and pastries*
6. Discman (any cheap variation in Quiapo will do)/ Ipod (or any MP3 player) / or any handy music player that I'm not aware of. - It's been a year when my Discman broke and I haven't been able to satisfy my loud music craving since then. I think it's only P1500 in Quiapo. I just miss that loud pounding in my ear. The CD player in my PC is nowhere close.
5. Kindergarten Teaching Job - I worked hard for this, and now that I'm already a Professional Teacher (as it says so in my PRC ID), I'm still so afraid that I won't have a job come June. So please, refer and recommend me to anyone who has a kindergarten school. I want to teach already!!! Gah!
4. Any Free Travel, in (Palawan, Batanes, Banawe, or Surigao) or out (EU, US, Asia, or Egypt/Morocco) of the country. - I'm already wishing, might as well shoot for the stars.
3. A Business, to keep me alive and kicking - Just enough to keep me alive, with a little leisure trip every six months to keep me sane and healthy. Tee Hee. I'm not asking a lot, am I?
2. Oh, okay. World peace. No, wait. Better make that People to Save the Earth. - I want world peace. But I want people to take notice, be responsible and make actions to save the earth even more.
1. True Love. Need I say more? (And no, I don't mean that guy from college. I mean, True Love. The One, Mr. Right...that's him.)
That's it. I may not be in touch with reality, but well, I just don't do things halfway. It's called a wish list, so a wish list it is. Choose now from the list above. Or better yet, surprise me. I love surprise presents even better!
Happy Christmas shopping!
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
Kodak Moments
These are the moments,
Don't let them pass you by....
- Kodak Moments commercial
Wee! I really like old friends get-together!
I haven't seen my Kodak friends in years. Well, two to three maybe. I have fond memories from Kodak, no matter how brief my stay there in the past, but the bad memories of my last month far outweighs the good. Maybe that's why I'm not too eager to see my former officemates.
But I forgot my girlfriends.
Hedda, Sarah, Joanne, Anna and Yayin. I see Hedds more often than the rest of them, and by often, like twice a year (gah! pathetic show of friendship!). And then, yesterday, we met again at UCC Fort and it was great. Three years after and we're still the same. Personalities so different, you'd wonder what we have in common.
We went to Boracay, (I joined them once, and then, didn't make it to the next two times they went there) and we have albums upon albums of pictures. We've always been snap happy, moreso now that we all have digicams. We seem to think each pose deserves at least 4-5 camera shots, or that's what it seems to me, especially when we stayed over at Anna's place in Laguna. Even when we went to Baguio, we couldn't get enough pictures of each other.
Well, it was nice to see them again, and I will endeavor to make a yahoogroup for us so we can keep in touch regularly and not see each other only during Hedda's birthday.
I'm still thinking of a group name for girls who have nothing in common except ka-kikayan. Hmmm....
Don't let them pass you by....
- Kodak Moments commercial
Wee! I really like old friends get-together!
I haven't seen my Kodak friends in years. Well, two to three maybe. I have fond memories from Kodak, no matter how brief my stay there in the past, but the bad memories of my last month far outweighs the good. Maybe that's why I'm not too eager to see my former officemates.
But I forgot my girlfriends.
Hedda, Sarah, Joanne, Anna and Yayin. I see Hedds more often than the rest of them, and by often, like twice a year (gah! pathetic show of friendship!). And then, yesterday, we met again at UCC Fort and it was great. Three years after and we're still the same. Personalities so different, you'd wonder what we have in common.
We went to Boracay, (I joined them once, and then, didn't make it to the next two times they went there) and we have albums upon albums of pictures. We've always been snap happy, moreso now that we all have digicams. We seem to think each pose deserves at least 4-5 camera shots, or that's what it seems to me, especially when we stayed over at Anna's place in Laguna. Even when we went to Baguio, we couldn't get enough pictures of each other.
Well, it was nice to see them again, and I will endeavor to make a yahoogroup for us so we can keep in touch regularly and not see each other only during Hedda's birthday.
I'm still thinking of a group name for girls who have nothing in common except ka-kikayan. Hmmm....
Sunday, December 12, 2004
The Part Two's
I think I'm so fond of writing long blogs that I made two part ones without any forthcoming part two's. Well. Here's part 2 of the Determinants of Liking, the most interesting bit, and part 2 of Silver Lining, the story from my mind. I'll stop at part 2 for Silver Lining as I'm planning to continue it in my recently opened livejournal account.
Tee hee. I'd better drop my xanga. I'll write the fiction from my mind in livejournal (as I know they don't actually censor each entry so I can write for-adults-only stories and publish it there) and write the more wholesome daily writing here in blogger. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Okay, behold the part 2s:
The Determinants of Liking, Part 2
Familiarity
Yes, the closer you get, the more you get attracted to someone. Or so it says in the book. One of the major reasons that proximity creates liking is that it increases familiarity, and familiarity by itself ---sheer exposure --- increases liking. This is quite a phenomenon, the familiarity breeds liking thing. Studies show that the more frequently they see a particular face, the more they said they liked it and thought they would like to see more of the person. Hurray! Put your face infront of your crush from now on, everyday, if you can manage it.
The moral is clear. If you are not beautiful or you find your admiration of someone unreciprocated, be persistent and hang around. Proximity and familiarity are your most powerful weapons. --- That is a direct quote from the book ladies and gents. I wonder if I would make a good stalker? Hmmm....
Similarity
There is an old saying that 'opposites attract' and lovers are fond of recounting how different they are from each other. The old saying is mostly false. "I love boating and she prefers mountain climbing", "I'm in engineering and she's a history major", but they overlook the fact that they both like the outdoors, or that they are both professionals. Usually, studies say that similarities in religion, social class, educational level and probably within 3 years of each other in age, and within 5 IQ points of intelligence are the most common amoung couples.
But here's something that I found hopeful. It has also been found that most of us end up with someone who are as attractive as we are. Weee! (But I think that partner for me is already taken. Damn!) This is because to put it bluntly, less attractive people seek less attractive partners because they are afraid that more attractive people will reject them. Hah, there goes the explanation for my lack of suitors. Come on, I'm friendly, they don't need to be afraid. Hehe, but I know of less attractive people who think they are God's gift to women (Gah! God wouldn't be so cruel!) and only wants to be with very, very attractive women! Clueless men, I tell you. Very ambitious too.
One reason that similarity produces liking is probably that people value their own opinions and preferences and enjoy being with someone who validates their choices, therefore boosting their self-esteem. Like I would want somebody I can talk to about life and all its nonsense, not nonsense all the time.
Despite all this, the saying that opposites attract may still apply to complementary traits. Like I am bossy and talkative, so I would go well with someone who's a great listener and usually indulges me. But even then, there are certain similarities underlying those complementary traits.
Ah...I'm tired talking about all these. Even knowing all of these, I still don't have anyone. Maybe I'd better start acting on it. Be a stalker. Or always hang around engineering colleges and attend scientific seminars (I like to be with a scientist or an engineer...I don't know why, maybe because I'm totally unscientific and know zilch about math). Anyway, hope it's useful to some of you.
- Source: Introduction to Psychology, Atkinson, Atkinson, et al.
I. con't...
"Ah, hi, Ryan." followed by frantic scrambling of keys to put in her bag and looking at her well-worn shoes. Damn! Why can't she have ultra feminine, soft-looking feet? She can feel his gaze traveling up and down, as if assessing her, looking her over, of what changes have happened for the last 8 years or so.
"You going to the reunion?" he asked, voice still croaking, like you wanted to say 'ahem' and help him get rid of that 'pesteng ahem' but it's really his natural voice.
"Yeah. yeah. " she answered briefly, not knowing what else to say.
"Okay, I'm walking there too." and he fell into step beside me.
Oh goodness. The one person she's anxious to see in this reunion and they are walking together towards the building. Great. Just my luck, she thought. She has changed into 5 outfits before finally deciding on this one, a white v-neck, fitted blouse, denim jeans, and black sandals. Yes, 5 outfits, before this very plain, very boring, CAT-inspired outfit. She wanted to rub her hands together to get rid of the cold, nervous sweaty feel, but she couldn't. She has to act cool and collected. That's what she always was.
"Ah, where you working now?" he asked, seemingly wanting to make small talk.
Great. "Hm, I'm not working, I just passed the teachers' board exams and it's just hard to get a teaching job mid-school year." she explained, quelching her need to expound and expound and tell her whole life story. Good thing too, because she doesn't really have anything much to say.
Finally, they reached the building, and she saw Jass and Jerry and her other friends, who all are sporting the looks of a goldfish, mouths forming 'O's and eyes wide with disbelief.
They stopped for one awkward moment, near her friends, but still far enough not to be overheard. And just stared at their feet for two uncomfortable seconds.
"Well, I'll see you later, or around...later. Oh you know what I mean. I'll just be here." Gah! How senile and stupid did that sound? She mentally kicked herself in the ass.
"Oh, okay. I'll come see you later. Be looking for you." He said, and she thought it was so nice of him to say something like that, when she knows he'll be too busy getting in touch with so many people. He was an icon in their college, for heaven's sake.
"Yeah, yeah."
She turned to walk towards her friends when she felt him briefly touch her in the arm. She turned to him, lifting her eyebrows in inquiry.
He just smiled, and said, a little bit shyly, "By the way, Elaine, you look really good."
--------
That's it. I'll continue this in my livejournal. Maybe next year. He he. By the way, this is a figment of my imagination. Not true. No basis in reality. You have to believe me. And this is not wishful thinking either. Yes, this is just fiction. FICTION. Really.
Tee hee. I'd better drop my xanga. I'll write the fiction from my mind in livejournal (as I know they don't actually censor each entry so I can write for-adults-only stories and publish it there) and write the more wholesome daily writing here in blogger. Sounds like a good plan to me.
Okay, behold the part 2s:
The Determinants of Liking, Part 2
Familiarity
Yes, the closer you get, the more you get attracted to someone. Or so it says in the book. One of the major reasons that proximity creates liking is that it increases familiarity, and familiarity by itself ---sheer exposure --- increases liking. This is quite a phenomenon, the familiarity breeds liking thing. Studies show that the more frequently they see a particular face, the more they said they liked it and thought they would like to see more of the person. Hurray! Put your face infront of your crush from now on, everyday, if you can manage it.
The moral is clear. If you are not beautiful or you find your admiration of someone unreciprocated, be persistent and hang around. Proximity and familiarity are your most powerful weapons. --- That is a direct quote from the book ladies and gents. I wonder if I would make a good stalker? Hmmm....
Similarity
There is an old saying that 'opposites attract' and lovers are fond of recounting how different they are from each other. The old saying is mostly false. "I love boating and she prefers mountain climbing", "I'm in engineering and she's a history major", but they overlook the fact that they both like the outdoors, or that they are both professionals. Usually, studies say that similarities in religion, social class, educational level and probably within 3 years of each other in age, and within 5 IQ points of intelligence are the most common amoung couples.
But here's something that I found hopeful. It has also been found that most of us end up with someone who are as attractive as we are. Weee! (But I think that partner for me is already taken. Damn!) This is because to put it bluntly, less attractive people seek less attractive partners because they are afraid that more attractive people will reject them. Hah, there goes the explanation for my lack of suitors. Come on, I'm friendly, they don't need to be afraid. Hehe, but I know of less attractive people who think they are God's gift to women (Gah! God wouldn't be so cruel!) and only wants to be with very, very attractive women! Clueless men, I tell you. Very ambitious too.
One reason that similarity produces liking is probably that people value their own opinions and preferences and enjoy being with someone who validates their choices, therefore boosting their self-esteem. Like I would want somebody I can talk to about life and all its nonsense, not nonsense all the time.
Despite all this, the saying that opposites attract may still apply to complementary traits. Like I am bossy and talkative, so I would go well with someone who's a great listener and usually indulges me. But even then, there are certain similarities underlying those complementary traits.
Ah...I'm tired talking about all these. Even knowing all of these, I still don't have anyone. Maybe I'd better start acting on it. Be a stalker. Or always hang around engineering colleges and attend scientific seminars (I like to be with a scientist or an engineer...I don't know why, maybe because I'm totally unscientific and know zilch about math). Anyway, hope it's useful to some of you.
- Source: Introduction to Psychology, Atkinson, Atkinson, et al.
Silver Lining
I. con't...
"Ah, hi, Ryan." followed by frantic scrambling of keys to put in her bag and looking at her well-worn shoes. Damn! Why can't she have ultra feminine, soft-looking feet? She can feel his gaze traveling up and down, as if assessing her, looking her over, of what changes have happened for the last 8 years or so.
"You going to the reunion?" he asked, voice still croaking, like you wanted to say 'ahem' and help him get rid of that 'pesteng ahem' but it's really his natural voice.
"Yeah. yeah. " she answered briefly, not knowing what else to say.
"Okay, I'm walking there too." and he fell into step beside me.
Oh goodness. The one person she's anxious to see in this reunion and they are walking together towards the building. Great. Just my luck, she thought. She has changed into 5 outfits before finally deciding on this one, a white v-neck, fitted blouse, denim jeans, and black sandals. Yes, 5 outfits, before this very plain, very boring, CAT-inspired outfit. She wanted to rub her hands together to get rid of the cold, nervous sweaty feel, but she couldn't. She has to act cool and collected. That's what she always was.
"Ah, where you working now?" he asked, seemingly wanting to make small talk.
Great. "Hm, I'm not working, I just passed the teachers' board exams and it's just hard to get a teaching job mid-school year." she explained, quelching her need to expound and expound and tell her whole life story. Good thing too, because she doesn't really have anything much to say.
Finally, they reached the building, and she saw Jass and Jerry and her other friends, who all are sporting the looks of a goldfish, mouths forming 'O's and eyes wide with disbelief.
They stopped for one awkward moment, near her friends, but still far enough not to be overheard. And just stared at their feet for two uncomfortable seconds.
"Well, I'll see you later, or around...later. Oh you know what I mean. I'll just be here." Gah! How senile and stupid did that sound? She mentally kicked herself in the ass.
"Oh, okay. I'll come see you later. Be looking for you." He said, and she thought it was so nice of him to say something like that, when she knows he'll be too busy getting in touch with so many people. He was an icon in their college, for heaven's sake.
"Yeah, yeah."
She turned to walk towards her friends when she felt him briefly touch her in the arm. She turned to him, lifting her eyebrows in inquiry.
He just smiled, and said, a little bit shyly, "By the way, Elaine, you look really good."
--------
That's it. I'll continue this in my livejournal. Maybe next year. He he. By the way, this is a figment of my imagination. Not true. No basis in reality. You have to believe me. And this is not wishful thinking either. Yes, this is just fiction. FICTION. Really.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
Time Flies, Bouts of Loneliness
It's freaking 530 am when I woke up from a very very weird dream, (not at all erotic mind you or I would really be mad when I woke up) which involves stupid murder, arson, and probably the start of incest. Told you it's a weird dream, and the characters are all beautiful foreigners.
So, just because it's early morning, lights still out and no people around, I didn't know what's with my sleepy brain and it began counting how many months it has been since a friend had a boyfriend (counting the months when my last girlfriend who was a veritable member of NBSB finally had one) and it's been four months! FOUR months! Gosh! How time flies!
Loneliness. A MAJOR bout of it all came to me, because I thought I'll blink and then it's my 30th birthday and I have no one special to celebrate it with. Shucks! And I'll be the only one with no one special. Gah! Hopefully after writing this blog, it'll make me feel better, even just a little bit better. I'm crossing my fingers...
It's not yet happening, I'm not feeling any better...
Nope...not yet.
Okay better stop writing nonsense. I'll go see if someone's already awake to make breakfast. Maybe THAT can make me feel better.
pssst...btw, today, I'm two months into my 28th year.
See? I told you I'll blink and I'm going to be 30! *runs across the room screaming*
So, just because it's early morning, lights still out and no people around, I didn't know what's with my sleepy brain and it began counting how many months it has been since a friend had a boyfriend (counting the months when my last girlfriend who was a veritable member of NBSB finally had one) and it's been four months! FOUR months! Gosh! How time flies!
Loneliness. A MAJOR bout of it all came to me, because I thought I'll blink and then it's my 30th birthday and I have no one special to celebrate it with. Shucks! And I'll be the only one with no one special. Gah! Hopefully after writing this blog, it'll make me feel better, even just a little bit better. I'm crossing my fingers...
It's not yet happening, I'm not feeling any better...
Nope...not yet.
Okay better stop writing nonsense. I'll go see if someone's already awake to make breakfast. Maybe THAT can make me feel better.
pssst...btw, today, I'm two months into my 28th year.
See? I told you I'll blink and I'm going to be 30! *runs across the room screaming*
Second Chances
"I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived."
- Margaret Mitchell
Two of my friends are on the verge of a breakthrough. One is currently communicating with her ex-boyfriend, whom I daresay, loathed her with a passion. And the other is going to find the chance, after nearly ten years, to speak to his secret love in college. Ah...stories beneath the stories.
My friend (with the ex) probably feels that I don't know what it’s about, and she's right, I probably don't. First off, I haven't had any serious romantic relationship, so I wouldn't know the kind of bonding that entails. Second, I can't imagine myself with that kind of guy. I'm a masochist yes, but I won’t be with a guy who'll keep hurling insults at me every chance he gets. I desperately want to be in a relationship and I'm really lonely, but I'll be worse off with a guy who doesn't respect me and who's only trying to prove a point to himself and to everyone and who's just probably horny (even some horny guy who I don't have a past with probably has more respect for me than her ex-boyfriend does for her).
My friend tells me, I'm everything that her ex-boyfriend hates. Tee hee. See? We haven’t met yet and we know that we couldn’t be put in the same room for murder will surely ensue.
For one thing, I don’t like being told how to live my life (like who my friends should be), and not even my parents could get me to report every action of every minute, for the longest time that they were trying, so why should he? Is he God, expecting me to confess everything so he'll judge me afterwards? Oh come on. And she really thinks everything is for her own good. I have to give that guy some credit, it takes a genius to train your girlfriend to tell you everything, even after you've broken up.
Anyway, so what's my concern in this? I apologized to my friend the other night for voicing my opinions so harshly. And I'm just meddling really. But would like to take note so if it happens to me, I'll have this to read and maybe it'll be useful. (And I think I have to apologize again to my friend for printing and publishing my opinion.) Oh well, it isn't my life. It's just sad to see a friend falls into a destructive pattern again and she isn't even aware of it. But maybe she's happier that way, although, I can't imagine why. Still, it isn't my life, and different strokes for different folks. I just hope she knows exactly what she wants, what she's doing and she'll be happy with whatever she decides to do. After all, she's not allowed to complain to her friends afterwards. If she still has friends left by then, that is.
Hmmm, from destructive exes to secret love.
I like this second part better. And I'll really take note of this. This will be short as the time when my guy friend meets his college love hasn't happened yet (wait for my Bicol trip entry...it'll be in that blog) but I want to stress something. Although people will say I’m a pessimist, I believe I’m just a realist. I believe in true love, marriage and can’t take my eyes off of you kind of sappiness, but I don’t believe in forsake everything for love (blergh!), happily ever after and it’s you and me against the world (gah!). So, I believe in second chances, not with destructive relationships, but the kind of chance you get to finally profess that long held secret love in your heart.
Funny, because this guy friend and I have always been flirting with each other. Even when we’re both looking at True Love and Kit like they were dreams that couldn’t be made into a reality. And I like our relationship like that. I enjoy teasing and flirting with him. And this time, unlike with my other friend with the ex, I know what he’s going through. I understand how it is to love from afar, admiring everything about that person and secretly longing to have the chance to just --- be friends for starters, I supposed. I am not stupid as to think that I’ll be really in love with someone that I don’t really know, except in college.
Suffice it to say, among the four of us, he’ll be the only one who’ll get the chance. The object of his college affection will make an appearance in Oca’s wedding. And I think I’m more excited about it than he is. Well, it’s easy to get excited for your friend, but I know it’s harder when you’re the one involved. I keep telling him, we’re old enough and mature enough to talk as adults, but look who’s talking. Me, who’s always just a little bit nervous in having coffee at Coffee Bean in Makati just because Jasper said he saw TL (True Love) there one time.
Anyway, it’s not me, so yes, I’m excited. I’ve already told Pare that we will endeavor to leave them alone and let things take its own course. That is, if my friend will ever get the nerve to say something that will eventually leads to a date or whatever. Anything will be an improvement, because they are not really talking and now, they are somehow exchanging texts! How thrilling! (I can imagine what I would feel if True Love and I were exchanging texts! Hehe, I feel like being back in college again.)
I’m meddling again. Well, I would like to say that I’m just giving them a little push. Especially if it will lead to him and his own True Love to explore that road that was not opened to them before but something that they can think of walking through in the near future if my friend plays his cards right. Nevertheless, I like these kind of second chances, it warms my heart, and it makes me smile.
Just because, it gives someone like me hope that maybe, there are new opportunities, but there are also second chances with old love.
- Margaret Mitchell
Two of my friends are on the verge of a breakthrough. One is currently communicating with her ex-boyfriend, whom I daresay, loathed her with a passion. And the other is going to find the chance, after nearly ten years, to speak to his secret love in college. Ah...stories beneath the stories.
My friend (with the ex) probably feels that I don't know what it’s about, and she's right, I probably don't. First off, I haven't had any serious romantic relationship, so I wouldn't know the kind of bonding that entails. Second, I can't imagine myself with that kind of guy. I'm a masochist yes, but I won’t be with a guy who'll keep hurling insults at me every chance he gets. I desperately want to be in a relationship and I'm really lonely, but I'll be worse off with a guy who doesn't respect me and who's only trying to prove a point to himself and to everyone and who's just probably horny (even some horny guy who I don't have a past with probably has more respect for me than her ex-boyfriend does for her).
My friend tells me, I'm everything that her ex-boyfriend hates. Tee hee. See? We haven’t met yet and we know that we couldn’t be put in the same room for murder will surely ensue.
For one thing, I don’t like being told how to live my life (like who my friends should be), and not even my parents could get me to report every action of every minute, for the longest time that they were trying, so why should he? Is he God, expecting me to confess everything so he'll judge me afterwards? Oh come on. And she really thinks everything is for her own good. I have to give that guy some credit, it takes a genius to train your girlfriend to tell you everything, even after you've broken up.
Anyway, so what's my concern in this? I apologized to my friend the other night for voicing my opinions so harshly. And I'm just meddling really. But would like to take note so if it happens to me, I'll have this to read and maybe it'll be useful. (And I think I have to apologize again to my friend for printing and publishing my opinion.) Oh well, it isn't my life. It's just sad to see a friend falls into a destructive pattern again and she isn't even aware of it. But maybe she's happier that way, although, I can't imagine why. Still, it isn't my life, and different strokes for different folks. I just hope she knows exactly what she wants, what she's doing and she'll be happy with whatever she decides to do. After all, she's not allowed to complain to her friends afterwards. If she still has friends left by then, that is.
Hmmm, from destructive exes to secret love.
I like this second part better. And I'll really take note of this. This will be short as the time when my guy friend meets his college love hasn't happened yet (wait for my Bicol trip entry...it'll be in that blog) but I want to stress something. Although people will say I’m a pessimist, I believe I’m just a realist. I believe in true love, marriage and can’t take my eyes off of you kind of sappiness, but I don’t believe in forsake everything for love (blergh!), happily ever after and it’s you and me against the world (gah!). So, I believe in second chances, not with destructive relationships, but the kind of chance you get to finally profess that long held secret love in your heart.
Funny, because this guy friend and I have always been flirting with each other. Even when we’re both looking at True Love and Kit like they were dreams that couldn’t be made into a reality. And I like our relationship like that. I enjoy teasing and flirting with him. And this time, unlike with my other friend with the ex, I know what he’s going through. I understand how it is to love from afar, admiring everything about that person and secretly longing to have the chance to just --- be friends for starters, I supposed. I am not stupid as to think that I’ll be really in love with someone that I don’t really know, except in college.
Suffice it to say, among the four of us, he’ll be the only one who’ll get the chance. The object of his college affection will make an appearance in Oca’s wedding. And I think I’m more excited about it than he is. Well, it’s easy to get excited for your friend, but I know it’s harder when you’re the one involved. I keep telling him, we’re old enough and mature enough to talk as adults, but look who’s talking. Me, who’s always just a little bit nervous in having coffee at Coffee Bean in Makati just because Jasper said he saw TL (True Love) there one time.
Anyway, it’s not me, so yes, I’m excited. I’ve already told Pare that we will endeavor to leave them alone and let things take its own course. That is, if my friend will ever get the nerve to say something that will eventually leads to a date or whatever. Anything will be an improvement, because they are not really talking and now, they are somehow exchanging texts! How thrilling! (I can imagine what I would feel if True Love and I were exchanging texts! Hehe, I feel like being back in college again.)
I’m meddling again. Well, I would like to say that I’m just giving them a little push. Especially if it will lead to him and his own True Love to explore that road that was not opened to them before but something that they can think of walking through in the near future if my friend plays his cards right. Nevertheless, I like these kind of second chances, it warms my heart, and it makes me smile.
Just because, it gives someone like me hope that maybe, there are new opportunities, but there are also second chances with old love.
Monday, December 6, 2004
The Bohol Experience
A man travels the world over in search of what he needs, and returns home to find it. - George Moore
People, including myself, compare every beach and island to Boracay. It has become the benchmark for us to know if the beach is a party place, an isolated island or a raw, magnificent beauty. But there comes a time, when we should not attempt to compare at all, for not only is it unfair for any other white-sand beach island to be compared to world famous Boracay, but it is also daunting. And I firmly believe that each place has an inherent charm and beauty that can be appreciated by not all, but many of us who see so many wonders in nature, history and the the background story.
Where do we start?
Our journery starts from Nirvana Street, here in Malabon. We woke up before 5 am. We prepared our things and when our cab arrived, we boarded it like zombies. I feel like my body is still sleeping under my blanket while I'm all perky and riding to the airport.
An hour and half early...oh well..
still sleepy, but excited
The plane ride took only an hour and fifteen minutes. Cesar Montano and Sunshine Cruz were also in the plane, and I almost pretended not to know my dad because he asked for Cesar's autograph. Anyway, when the plane landed, what I saw was just like any other provincial city. Our ride was waiting for us and took us to the resort.
Hmm, still nothing new...just like any resort, nothing fancy and no luxuries. But then, we went to the beach. And then there it was.
and that's not bora...though it can fool ya...
white white sand
My sister and I waddled in the clear waters of Panglao. Yep, it looks like Bora, minus the disparaging looks to bodies not up to perfection, the mating rituals of single people and the excessive display of skin and skimpy fashion. The beach is more enjoyed by all members of the family rather than by couples or group of friends. There are no restaurants occupying every inch of beachfront space and I like it that way. Feels more natural to me.
The powdery white sandy beach provided endless entertainment to all members of the family with children shrieking with delight. And I almost felt a pang of sadness that maybe I'll have to content myself with watching children of other people. Almost.
Lunch was also a pleasant surprise. We ate chicken barbecue (which was really, really good) and bought one kilo of lechon for only P250 (in Manila it will nearly double). Life was really good. I took pictures after eating, looking like a crazy Manilena, armed with my digicam and my big, SLR Nikon camera. Hopefully, it'll all look good.
We went back to the resort and spent the rest of the hot afternoon submerged in the cool water of the resort pool. Afterwhich, dinner and cable tv watching. Ah, Discovery channel. I'm really missing you. I never knew I'll be that glad to see Ian Wright again. And what is it about vacations and life in the province, but I slept early, and promptly snored loud enough to prevent my sister from sleeping well. Anyway, I've got to rest for the full day ahead the next day.
Discovering Bohol
Our first stop the next day was the Blood Compact site. It was okay, but if you like stories, then, you'll love it. It was a warm day, kinda hot really, but we posed and smiled for the camera anyway.
smiling for the skewed picture
Then, on to my favorite part of our trip. The two thousand plus Chocolate hills. We braced ourselves in the van as it made its way towards Carmen, Bohol, where the viewing site is located. Amidst the bouncing during that bumpy ride, we passed by no less than four, (yes, four!) old churches, one of which is the oldest church in the country which we will visit later.
After minutes (or is it an hour?) we saw some hills already on our left, and some on our right. When we arrived at the viewing site, I'm surprised to find that I have to climb 250 steps to view it properly. Gah!
But then...
Welcome to Bohol!
Oh wow!
It left me speechless. Not an easy feat, but it can really be done. The beauty of it lies in the individuality of each hill. I had the impression that they all look alike, like Hershey's kisses scattered along the countryside, but I'm wrong. Some are small, some have trees, and some are steeper than the others. Others are chubby and small, while others are so small you can barely discern them from a distance. For me, it was reminiscent of meeting so many interesting people all at once. All have different personalities, and all are worthy to get to know.
another one for the album
We stayed there for quite a while. I changed films in my SLR and I took up a sizable percentage of my digicam's memory card. Tee hee. I just like the look of all those hills, standing beside each other. How can they live side by side, all the time, for so many years?
I thought our third stop was lunch, as my stomach was already churning. So the driver was driving fast when we passed by a forest I saw earlier. I asked Jing to stop for three minutes, just enough for me to take two to three pictures. I have never seen trees lined up like that and I just had to take pictures.
thru the forest
All the famous forests leapt to mind. The Forbidden forest, fully expecting Harry and Draco to emerge behind one tree. The Sherwood Forest, or One Hundred Acre Wood. I can imagine Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White and Goldilocks lost in these woods. Or even Robinhood, following Piglet and Pooh. Those trees brought it all to life for me. And I was grateful to all those students years ago who planted those trees. Yes, it is a man-made forest, and it gives me hope. With all our environmental problems, I might not see another one like this for quite long while.
I remember crossing my fingers that it was finally time for lunch, but no. We stopped to meet a tiny creature that reminds me of Yoda when Luke met him for the first time in The Empire Strikes Back. And it was really like I imagined meeting Yoda. The tarsier was sleeping when we entered his sanctuary, but then the sounds of our yakking probably woke him up, and he stared at me with those big bright brown eyes of his, as if assessing my very character and all my worth with just one look.
disturbing someone's sleep
We bought some tarsier keychains, copying those Australian tourists who always bring home a miniature koala bear. Then, we left and this time, I knew lunch was coming because we boarded a river craft with crews who have shirts with 'Loboc River Cruise and Restaurant' written at the back. When I saw the dishes laid out in the buffet table, I smiled the smile of a hungry woman. At last!
Savoring the food and the Loboc river cruise experience is a combination that can soothe even the weariest of traveller. It did soothe me and I saw several foreign visitors enjoying themselves as well.
not too close, but good enough
One big snake and three old churches on the way back and I see the oldest church again. Its rustic charm telling me how ancient she is, yet how loved and well-cared for. Ah, how many weddings, baptisms and masses had it witnessed? How many prayers had it heard? Can you imagine all those people flocking thru these old stone churches? It was bucolic and beautiful, just because you can almost hear and see its history unfold infront of you.
Tired but happy, the driver brought us to Tagbilaran's newly constructed mall, for us to buy our pasalubongs for he said, it's cheaper in the Supermarket. And it is. We bought a lot of food, and peanut kisses to fill my peanut hunger.
I thought we're on our way back to the resort, but the driver asked us if we'd like to see the cave. And we brightened again, as if saying 'bring it on! we're still on our feet, aren't we?' It was touch and go with the cave, as my parents are feeling out of sorts underground, but we bought more pasalubongs, this time of the shirts and caps variety from the vendors selling near the caves. Afterwhich, we really finally made our way back to the hotel.
mom, hanging on for dear life, before plunging down to the unknown
Good food and another good night sleep after, we had our last breakfast in Bohol. Then, we prepare our stuff and said goodbye to this bold, beautiful and historic province. Now, I'm back in Manila, reading my daily dose of h/d of course, but I'm missing the laid back atmosphere already, though I know I cannot live there for long, for I'm born and bred in the city.
But still, it was an experience I wouldn't likely to forget. Afterall, I was with my family and I was travelling. I just couldn't go wrong with that.
So where next?
Bicol, volcano and a wedding. I can hardly wait.
People, including myself, compare every beach and island to Boracay. It has become the benchmark for us to know if the beach is a party place, an isolated island or a raw, magnificent beauty. But there comes a time, when we should not attempt to compare at all, for not only is it unfair for any other white-sand beach island to be compared to world famous Boracay, but it is also daunting. And I firmly believe that each place has an inherent charm and beauty that can be appreciated by not all, but many of us who see so many wonders in nature, history and the the background story.
Where do we start?
Our journery starts from Nirvana Street, here in Malabon. We woke up before 5 am. We prepared our things and when our cab arrived, we boarded it like zombies. I feel like my body is still sleeping under my blanket while I'm all perky and riding to the airport.
An hour and half early...oh well..
still sleepy, but excited
The plane ride took only an hour and fifteen minutes. Cesar Montano and Sunshine Cruz were also in the plane, and I almost pretended not to know my dad because he asked for Cesar's autograph. Anyway, when the plane landed, what I saw was just like any other provincial city. Our ride was waiting for us and took us to the resort.
Hmm, still nothing new...just like any resort, nothing fancy and no luxuries. But then, we went to the beach. And then there it was.
and that's not bora...though it can fool ya...
white white sand
My sister and I waddled in the clear waters of Panglao. Yep, it looks like Bora, minus the disparaging looks to bodies not up to perfection, the mating rituals of single people and the excessive display of skin and skimpy fashion. The beach is more enjoyed by all members of the family rather than by couples or group of friends. There are no restaurants occupying every inch of beachfront space and I like it that way. Feels more natural to me.
The powdery white sandy beach provided endless entertainment to all members of the family with children shrieking with delight. And I almost felt a pang of sadness that maybe I'll have to content myself with watching children of other people. Almost.
Lunch was also a pleasant surprise. We ate chicken barbecue (which was really, really good) and bought one kilo of lechon for only P250 (in Manila it will nearly double). Life was really good. I took pictures after eating, looking like a crazy Manilena, armed with my digicam and my big, SLR Nikon camera. Hopefully, it'll all look good.
We went back to the resort and spent the rest of the hot afternoon submerged in the cool water of the resort pool. Afterwhich, dinner and cable tv watching. Ah, Discovery channel. I'm really missing you. I never knew I'll be that glad to see Ian Wright again. And what is it about vacations and life in the province, but I slept early, and promptly snored loud enough to prevent my sister from sleeping well. Anyway, I've got to rest for the full day ahead the next day.
Discovering Bohol
Our first stop the next day was the Blood Compact site. It was okay, but if you like stories, then, you'll love it. It was a warm day, kinda hot really, but we posed and smiled for the camera anyway.
smiling for the skewed picture
Then, on to my favorite part of our trip. The two thousand plus Chocolate hills. We braced ourselves in the van as it made its way towards Carmen, Bohol, where the viewing site is located. Amidst the bouncing during that bumpy ride, we passed by no less than four, (yes, four!) old churches, one of which is the oldest church in the country which we will visit later.
After minutes (or is it an hour?) we saw some hills already on our left, and some on our right. When we arrived at the viewing site, I'm surprised to find that I have to climb 250 steps to view it properly. Gah!
But then...
Welcome to Bohol!
Oh wow!
It left me speechless. Not an easy feat, but it can really be done. The beauty of it lies in the individuality of each hill. I had the impression that they all look alike, like Hershey's kisses scattered along the countryside, but I'm wrong. Some are small, some have trees, and some are steeper than the others. Others are chubby and small, while others are so small you can barely discern them from a distance. For me, it was reminiscent of meeting so many interesting people all at once. All have different personalities, and all are worthy to get to know.
another one for the album
We stayed there for quite a while. I changed films in my SLR and I took up a sizable percentage of my digicam's memory card. Tee hee. I just like the look of all those hills, standing beside each other. How can they live side by side, all the time, for so many years?
I thought our third stop was lunch, as my stomach was already churning. So the driver was driving fast when we passed by a forest I saw earlier. I asked Jing to stop for three minutes, just enough for me to take two to three pictures. I have never seen trees lined up like that and I just had to take pictures.
thru the forest
All the famous forests leapt to mind. The Forbidden forest, fully expecting Harry and Draco to emerge behind one tree. The Sherwood Forest, or One Hundred Acre Wood. I can imagine Little Red Riding Hood, Snow White and Goldilocks lost in these woods. Or even Robinhood, following Piglet and Pooh. Those trees brought it all to life for me. And I was grateful to all those students years ago who planted those trees. Yes, it is a man-made forest, and it gives me hope. With all our environmental problems, I might not see another one like this for quite long while.
I remember crossing my fingers that it was finally time for lunch, but no. We stopped to meet a tiny creature that reminds me of Yoda when Luke met him for the first time in The Empire Strikes Back. And it was really like I imagined meeting Yoda. The tarsier was sleeping when we entered his sanctuary, but then the sounds of our yakking probably woke him up, and he stared at me with those big bright brown eyes of his, as if assessing my very character and all my worth with just one look.
disturbing someone's sleep
We bought some tarsier keychains, copying those Australian tourists who always bring home a miniature koala bear. Then, we left and this time, I knew lunch was coming because we boarded a river craft with crews who have shirts with 'Loboc River Cruise and Restaurant' written at the back. When I saw the dishes laid out in the buffet table, I smiled the smile of a hungry woman. At last!
Savoring the food and the Loboc river cruise experience is a combination that can soothe even the weariest of traveller. It did soothe me and I saw several foreign visitors enjoying themselves as well.
not too close, but good enough
One big snake and three old churches on the way back and I see the oldest church again. Its rustic charm telling me how ancient she is, yet how loved and well-cared for. Ah, how many weddings, baptisms and masses had it witnessed? How many prayers had it heard? Can you imagine all those people flocking thru these old stone churches? It was bucolic and beautiful, just because you can almost hear and see its history unfold infront of you.
Tired but happy, the driver brought us to Tagbilaran's newly constructed mall, for us to buy our pasalubongs for he said, it's cheaper in the Supermarket. And it is. We bought a lot of food, and peanut kisses to fill my peanut hunger.
I thought we're on our way back to the resort, but the driver asked us if we'd like to see the cave. And we brightened again, as if saying 'bring it on! we're still on our feet, aren't we?' It was touch and go with the cave, as my parents are feeling out of sorts underground, but we bought more pasalubongs, this time of the shirts and caps variety from the vendors selling near the caves. Afterwhich, we really finally made our way back to the hotel.
mom, hanging on for dear life, before plunging down to the unknown
Good food and another good night sleep after, we had our last breakfast in Bohol. Then, we prepare our stuff and said goodbye to this bold, beautiful and historic province. Now, I'm back in Manila, reading my daily dose of h/d of course, but I'm missing the laid back atmosphere already, though I know I cannot live there for long, for I'm born and bred in the city.
But still, it was an experience I wouldn't likely to forget. Afterall, I was with my family and I was travelling. I just couldn't go wrong with that.
So where next?
Bicol, volcano and a wedding. I can hardly wait.
Thursday, December 2, 2004
A Thousand Beautiful Things
Every day I write the list
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
(A thousand beautiful things)
And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty
(A thousand beautiful things)
...The world was meant for you and me
To figure out our destiny
(A thousand beautiful things)
To live, to die, to breathe, to sleep
To try to make your life complete
- Annie Lennox, A Thousand Beautiful Things
Shush.
There's no reason why we have to be completely depressed when you only have to look around to see it. It is just there. In the cool breeze that touches you in a hundred different places even if you're cocooned in your room, caressing your arm, as if, it can't get enough of you. There, in the silver lining in dark clouds above, waiting to be noticed, amidst the heavy rain and the grayish sky. Comes the sunshine, you can feel it in your skin, how the warmth spread throughout your body. Imagine, the sun is thousands of miles away from us, yet touches us individually, in a very personal way.
Walk for a while, and you'll find it in a smile, passed between lovers, or friends, or two people who wants to be more than friends, but lovers not quite yet. It is also in the warmth generated by holding hands, as if one cannot let go of the other.
Hush, now, no need to cry.
Use your senses, and take care to see the details. It has been said the He's in the details and He is. He really is.
That bright green leaf holding on to his tiny branch, it does not want to give up and certainly not letting go. The tiny flower, of vibrant hues, looking pretty and she knows it too. The fudge ice cream, that makes you feel gooey inside, as it melts in your mouth. The city bird, so rare, visiting you one morning outside your window, chirping and singing his morning song, and it truly obliterate the ugly sounds of the metropolis.
Sometimes, it comes and goes. And you have to be quick and thank the heavens above that you managed to witness it, experience it and put it away as a beautiful memory.
Like rainbows, bed weather, day offs, unexpected vacation, birthday presents, Christmas greetings, Valentine cards, and flowers sent by friends and lovers. Ah, can you see it now? Feel it and hear it? Isn’t it wonderful?
When I look at you, it’s there. The twinkle in your eyes and your long eyelashes, covering your eyes as you shyly look down on your lap. The exquisite curve of your neck, the naughty curling of your lips, and that classic nose fit for sculpting. I love the smell of your underarms too. It smells fresh and not the least bit sweaty. I like seeing that smile, feels like sunshine really, spreading warmth all over me. And that body, in truth, an evidence of beauty. Each sinew of muscle, every bone, is beautiful. No need to look elsewhere, just you, in totality equals hundreds of lovely things present in this world.
And I’m just warming up.
Can you imagine how many lovers look at their partners the same way? That they are the loveliest thing they’ve ever seen in their life? Even with the big belly, the button nose, the eccentricities and the endearing quirks, the lover will swear that he or she is still divine.
So I'd better stop now. It will be wise of me to do so. For I cannot enumerate it all, list everything down. It will take a while. But I hope you get my meaning. That it’s just there, it’s everywhere around you. You only have to look, lift your blindfolds and hear it, feel it, and I swear you can almost taste it, even smell it. Sometimes, we know it’s there even if we don’t sense it. Just like God.
He’s just there.
A thousand beautiful things, just waiting for you.
Of reasons why I still believe they do exist
(A thousand beautiful things)
And even though it's hard to see
The glass is full and not half empty
(A thousand beautiful things)
...The world was meant for you and me
To figure out our destiny
(A thousand beautiful things)
To live, to die, to breathe, to sleep
To try to make your life complete
- Annie Lennox, A Thousand Beautiful Things
Shush.
There's no reason why we have to be completely depressed when you only have to look around to see it. It is just there. In the cool breeze that touches you in a hundred different places even if you're cocooned in your room, caressing your arm, as if, it can't get enough of you. There, in the silver lining in dark clouds above, waiting to be noticed, amidst the heavy rain and the grayish sky. Comes the sunshine, you can feel it in your skin, how the warmth spread throughout your body. Imagine, the sun is thousands of miles away from us, yet touches us individually, in a very personal way.
Walk for a while, and you'll find it in a smile, passed between lovers, or friends, or two people who wants to be more than friends, but lovers not quite yet. It is also in the warmth generated by holding hands, as if one cannot let go of the other.
Hush, now, no need to cry.
Use your senses, and take care to see the details. It has been said the He's in the details and He is. He really is.
That bright green leaf holding on to his tiny branch, it does not want to give up and certainly not letting go. The tiny flower, of vibrant hues, looking pretty and she knows it too. The fudge ice cream, that makes you feel gooey inside, as it melts in your mouth. The city bird, so rare, visiting you one morning outside your window, chirping and singing his morning song, and it truly obliterate the ugly sounds of the metropolis.
Sometimes, it comes and goes. And you have to be quick and thank the heavens above that you managed to witness it, experience it and put it away as a beautiful memory.
Like rainbows, bed weather, day offs, unexpected vacation, birthday presents, Christmas greetings, Valentine cards, and flowers sent by friends and lovers. Ah, can you see it now? Feel it and hear it? Isn’t it wonderful?
When I look at you, it’s there. The twinkle in your eyes and your long eyelashes, covering your eyes as you shyly look down on your lap. The exquisite curve of your neck, the naughty curling of your lips, and that classic nose fit for sculpting. I love the smell of your underarms too. It smells fresh and not the least bit sweaty. I like seeing that smile, feels like sunshine really, spreading warmth all over me. And that body, in truth, an evidence of beauty. Each sinew of muscle, every bone, is beautiful. No need to look elsewhere, just you, in totality equals hundreds of lovely things present in this world.
And I’m just warming up.
Can you imagine how many lovers look at their partners the same way? That they are the loveliest thing they’ve ever seen in their life? Even with the big belly, the button nose, the eccentricities and the endearing quirks, the lover will swear that he or she is still divine.
So I'd better stop now. It will be wise of me to do so. For I cannot enumerate it all, list everything down. It will take a while. But I hope you get my meaning. That it’s just there, it’s everywhere around you. You only have to look, lift your blindfolds and hear it, feel it, and I swear you can almost taste it, even smell it. Sometimes, we know it’s there even if we don’t sense it. Just like God.
He’s just there.
A thousand beautiful things, just waiting for you.
Fiction from the Mind
I have lots of stories in my head, each has a beginning, with no ending. I don't know why this is so, but I've decided to post the latest one here. I like scenes rather than plots, that probably explains why I have lots of scenes in my head with no real storyline.
I just feel like writing since it's raining hard, downpour really, outside and our damn cable service provider just went blank at the time that the love of my life, Eminem, is on TRL. So I'm taking out my frustration by typing furiously at my keyboard, not knowing what will come out of it. Hopefully something will.
I just like the sound of the title, I have no idea if it will stick until the end of the story...or even if I will have the tenacity and patience to write more scenes to add to this story.
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I just feel like writing since it's raining hard, downpour really, outside and our damn cable service provider just went blank at the time that the love of my life, Eminem, is on TRL. So I'm taking out my frustration by typing furiously at my keyboard, not knowing what will come out of it. Hopefully something will.
I just like the sound of the title, I have no idea if it will stick until the end of the story...or even if I will have the tenacity and patience to write more scenes to add to this story.
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SILVER LINING
"Hope is the denial of reality."
- Margaret Weis, Dragons of Winter Night
I.
She never thought she had to go through with it. It scares her to think that in a few hours she’ll be facing her teenage demons that haunted her throughout most of her early adulthood. Well, she’d like to think she’s still a young adult, but it will get her into an argument with most people.
Driving has always given her the pleasure of having time alone with her self and with thoughts. Today is nothing new, but she wish that somehow there is someone with her to placate her and appease her fears somewhat. Someone to hold her hand and tell her everything will be okay, that by the end of the day she’s going to laugh at herself for being afraid and silly. But then again, that is not a luxury that she has. She chuckled though at the thought, because she couldn’t imagine herself with someone. Well, she could, but since it hasn’t happened yet, then it’s a foreign concept to her.
Alone.
It sounds like a death sentence, and for a Libran whose body cells are probably made to be with people, it really is.
She sighed. She’s getting used to it by now, she should be. Being alone. The trick is to always occupy oneself with happy thoughts and goals to reach so as not to contemplate the sickening thought of being alone. She looks down for a moment, and was horrified that her huge thighs will bring her to the brink of depression, if nothing else.
Her cellphone rang as she was turning to the wide road where the small naked figure of a man at the far end of the road signifies the entrance to her old university. Big flowers lined up the island on her left, and the jeepneys are rushing past her or making unwarranted stops in the middle of the road.
“Yeah,” she answered the phone with one hand, while steering the wheel with the other, at the same time also checking her appearance in the mirror, feeling as if the person on the other line can see what she looks like.
“Where are you? We’ve been waiting for you. Our whole gang is here. Even Stan! This reunion is going to be a blast!” the caller said with a contagiously excited voice.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be there in …uh, five minutes?” she’s getting near the building and after parking, she’ll be facing everybody.
“Okay, okay. Just be here already, will you?” then he hung up.
Go figure. He’s probably too excited mingling with their former classmates, showing off his new looks. He knows that he looks like a celebrity and flaunts it. She smothers a laugh because he’ll keep on denying that it’s flaunting. He’s shy, he’ll say. Shy, my ass, she thought, Jass makes her look shy by comparison.
Spotting a parking space, she quickly pulled over and parked the car. After turning off the engine, she took a deep breath. Quickly gathering her things, checking herself in the mirror for the nth time, she took several deep breaths and opened her car door.
She’s already locking her car door and putting her keys in her bag when she heard that familiar voice. That distinctly familiar hoarse voice that could only belong to one person.
“Hello, Elaine.”
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That's it. Told you I like scenes. Hopefully I can write the encounter scene next...but hey, I think I'll go back to writing drabbles of pervy scenes playing over and over in my head. That has a nicer ring to it.
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