Greeting Cards

"Have enough courage to love ONE more time.

and always one more time."

- Maya Angelou



We were in National Bookstore last weekend, and as usual, after I checked the books section, I went down and browse through the greeting cards section. I love greeting cards, I have a full collection of greeting cards that will probably never be sent, and I have sent and received many the years past.



Imagine my joy and surprise at seeing a Hallmark line of cards entirely written by Maya Angelou. I have forever been looking for her books "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" and "Still I Rise" in Powerbooks and National, but I guess I have to concede and order it especially since I've been looking for years and couldn't find it. (I don't like ordering, since I like the excitement of looking for my must-have books)



And as I'm going through my own brand of personal hell these past few days, to my own trepidation, I'm losing my positive outlook in life, and laugh a lot less. I've lived the past three days in zombie-like existence, only existing, moving along, just because I can breathe and eat, and talk and sleep, but not because, as I have always felt, that there's something in eating, and talking and sleeping and breathing that is beautiful. I haven't been living.



I'm still waiting for the results of my physical exam, and not knowing if you're sick or not is the worst. But the thing is, I'm not yet sure, and I've already given up. I'm so ashamed.



I can't talk about future plans, I can't even think about my own up and coming 28th birthday. I'm just gripped in fear and self-pity and like a prey staring at her own predator, I cannot move, take action and fight.



This is not me.



My greatest comfort comes from an unexpected place. I received a phone call from a friend the other night, and we talked for a long time. I told him about my fear and plain and simply, he said he'll pray for me. The comfort comes when he said that we'll just simply have to work harder to get me a guy immediately if I really turn out to be sick. We laughed. Hard and loud. Probably the only genuine laugh I've had all weekend.



Back to Maya Angelou, she has some of the most beautiful words ever written, or spoken for that matter. I've now downloaded and copied almost all her famous quotes (which are many, as evidence of her eloquence). As I was chatting with Ria (after two months of no contact with one another), she made me feel a whole lot better by not being afraid to discuss anything and everything, I'm also reminded of these words from the famous writer...



"God never leaves me.

In my ignorance,

I have frequently thought

I have left God,

but that is altogether impossible."



" God puts rainbows in the clouds

so that each of us—in the dullest

and most dreary moments—

can see a possibility of hope."



- Maya Angelou



Well, I learned that not all rainbows are found in the sky. Some are funny remarks about sex and comforting words from a friend from the other side of the world.