Confidence

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined."
- Henry David Thoreau

A friend asked me earlier today why I wasn't teaching yet. I kept quiet because I'm conflicted on how to answer this question. I tried looking for work last summer break, but I didn't know if I tried hard enough. I got rejected twice and made a fool of myself twice during demo that I was disheartened to continue searching and looking and simply gave up trying.

Twice.

I wonder if that counts as trying hard enough.

I'm in denial. Of course not. It was a measly effort, minuscule in comparison with the determination I pursued this dream of being able to teach. What the hell was I doing?

So, during Christmas break, when I was feeling afraid again, on the verge of quitting again, because my confidence in demo teaching is on the negative, I tried talking to myself and telling myself I just have to get through this. And I can spread my wings and look for greener pastures.

Wherever those wings will take me, I hope I can settle down and find what I am looking for.