Moving On

*Major rant ahead, more than my usual. I warned you.

Just when I was getting over myself, or finally smiling and okay with my world, someone shoved a newspaper infront of me and i literally have to lie down just to be able to take in all that's happening in our country. Gah! I don't need more concerns, or more problems, i have enough of my own.

I am quietly despairing and hoping to fix myself by being okay to be single and alone forever. Do you know how hard that must be for someone who always fancy herself to be in love with someone dashing and splendid most of her teenage life? I am beginning to be okay with it, thanks to prayers and major begging of strength from Him, but i'm this close, this close to tearing my hair off because the desperation is always triggered by minor, inconsequential things, like an ugly couple holding hands, and I will think I'm prettier by I'm not holding anybody's hand. How unfair can the world get? And all the girls my age are getting married? What's with this marrying spree? Where did this come from? It's a deadly conspiracy to drive single women nearing 30 out of the country. I swear that if I'm the only one left, I'll do anything in my power to leave the country, even for a short time, just enough to be sane again. Volunteer work, here I come!

Then, I'm moving slowly career-wise. I still have until March and I'm taking up SPED classes this sem and the next. But still, I fear that I'm not a good teacher. I can't project my voice enough to be heard by the whole roomful of people and I can't seem to get over my nervousness as i look at the children, expecting a whole lot of me. I'm ranting now because I saw this classmate of mine, who's already a teacher, fumbled his way into the class, reporting nonsense and trying to muddle his way through his reporting by summoning every memory of every special child he's ever run into and telling the whole class about it. No definitions, no examples, no categories, only observations, thank you very much. I'm disgusted and wanted to shout again of unfairness because this, this sorry excuse of a student, is a teacher???

Okay, so maybe these are minor concerns for you, but they are major problems of mine. And then I'll see the newspapers containing all these power-hungry politicians squabbling over a despairing, poor country like children. Actually, I agree wholeheartedly with the email of jawbreaker which is going around the net, only tax payers should vote. Get rid of all those 'masa' who's only concern is who can pay them the most and not the future of our country. Annihilate all politicians. Period. Aveda kedavra all corrupt government officials and employees as they are not helping in the least. And lastly, anyone who calls for people power again? Shoot them on the spot. No more please. Are we always going to resort to that to be rid of someone we don't like? then let's not waste our money and resources for elections if we're always going to change leaders anytime we like it.

Gah. I don't like ranting about politics. I like to stick by rules of no religion and no politics, so we can have a good conversation in peace. But just bear with me on this one entry. I just have to get it off my chest.

There, I'm done. Hopefully, our country isn't.