Tuesday, August 30, 2005

The Smell of Rain

amidst breathing in
dirty,humid city air

ismell Rain

cool, cold, wispy
whispering, sighing
in a lonely afternoon

Rain comes

i stopped pounding on my
keyboards, a moment
a pause

i breathed in

i smell Rain
smells like Heaven
on a hot hot day

Sunday, August 28, 2005

My Great Loves

If I will be asked today what or who are the great loves of my life, then I will have to answer it like these.

There's God, above all, my family coming in close second, Chewy, who I will miss terribly when he leaves us, and bestfriends, both girls and guys who've been with me through thick and thin (literally!). There are material things that I treasure just because they mean different things to me. Mad Max, my Independence. Books, my Escape. Internet and PC, my Knowledge Source.

And then, there are those that I crave. Those things that never cease to interest me, capture me, and entrap me with just the mere mention of words, of concepts. Love, and all it's mysteries. I can go on and on analyzing and still come up with no answers. Literature, the beauty of the written word, how it amazes me to read words that can evoke many feelings with just a few simple well-written phrases. Poetry, I still hold it above all as one of life's simple pleasures, listening to poetry, and watching it in everyday surroundings.

Let me add, Education, the never ending pursuit of knowledge is just that, a never ending pursuit, and should never be abandoned. I hope I can find a business someday that can finance all the educational pursuits that I want. I want to take a Master's Degree in Educational Psychology, in English Literature, and take dozens of other short courses on any of the following: Foreign Languages, Anthropology, Sociology, Film, Interior Design, Early Childhood Education, and Art.

Speaking of Art - if there is one thing that can make this entry short, it's art. Literature is one form of it, Visual Arts, Photography and Dance are all forms of it. And I love them all. I take great pleasure in watching, participating, and appreciating all the great artists perform their magic.

Last but not the least, I'm endlessly fascinated about places and culture. Other people and my own. Anything that has years of history, looks different and the same, have great story potential is absolutely fascinating to me. I can watch Travel Channel for days on end, and I won't be bored.

Okay, I'm ending this entry of Great Loves without The One, The Great True Love, because, well, I don't have any. I think I'm going to end up like those women, who loves life, but spend it trying to find True Love with no success. Ah well, I'm almost resigned to that Fate. (But I'm always praying for a miracle!)

So what are your Great Loves?


Next entry...my Top Ten Travel Fantasy Places with no drabbles (so you won't have to listen to me gush about a place i've never been to) and just photos and quotes.

P.S. It's my brother's birthday today. Guh, a sign that says my birthday is just around the bend.

Blink of an Eye

I'm just waiting for September to come, and I promised myself that I'll write again. All the nonsense lodging in my head, all mundane thoughts running around and all my crazy harebrained ideas. For now, let me put it in a nutshell.

A couple of weeks ago, I was happily waiting for life to take hold of me and push me into high gear. I guess my wish came true. My classmate got a text message saying that a one-way trip to Singapore costs only P350.00, that's something I thought even I can afford. So I immediately sent text messages to two people I know I can coerced into joining me for the trip. We stayed at my house, and Jas promptly dashed my hopes of going to Singapore by saying that it'll take P17,000 at least for our trip. (Tee hee, because we're also planning to go to Kuala Lumpur and Indonesia...I was even wondering if we can squeeze in Thailand in there...) The problem took hold, where in the world am I going to get P17,000? I have no job, and I'm not planning on asking my parents at a financially difficult time like this.

So I persuaded (yes, persuaded is probably a mild word) Liza to join me in bazaars. I was already planning to join bazaars for Christmas to sell my mother's pastries, but I was taking my time, and thought I have all the time in the world. But with the Singapore trip nipping on my tail, I need to do something ASAP.

Suffice it to say that it snowballed from there. We are now in the throngs of planning for our first bazaar. Seems a little thing to most people, but when you've been enclosed in the relative security of the corporate world for so long, like Liza and I, this is a big step. Our first big business venture. He he. (Not counting those org fund raisers we used to have in college. :D)

If you live somewhere near Alabang, go visit Cuenca Community Center on October 1 and 2. We'll be there with our pastries. (Trust me, the pastries are worth the trip and the price!) I guess you'll be hearing a lot of our whining and planning as I think it will take up most of my time (and my mind!) for the coming month.

(I'm nervous, yet excited, reminiscent of the feeling of falling in line to ride a great big roller coaster, surveying its twists and turns, waiting for your first ride. You can feel your guts wrenching, butterflies somersaulting and yet you sweat, anticipating the adrenalin rush of doing something exciting for the first time.)

Gah! How nerdy can I get? Experiencing butterflies from going into bazaar selling for the first time? I need to get a life!

(Whee! Our Singapore trip is already booked. So whether or not I raise P17K, I'm having a vacation to celebrate my 29th birthday! I'll cross the bridge of having huge debts to friends when I get there.)

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Pare's Request (A Late Answer)

So I'm about a month late.

Sorry, Pare.

My excuse? My mind was wandering for eons now, and I can't even get up the nerve to write something soul searching or not-mundane. I'm afraid sometimes of what answers I can come up with to answer all of my life's questions. So no blog-browsing, no blog-reading and just a handful of blog-writing.

Okay, I guess I have no excuse now. And here it goes:

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY
1. elaine
2. elaney
3. laney

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD
1. elaine
2. elaney
3. karina (don't ask me why)

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. well-read (therefore, I can always pretend to be intellectually superior)
2. twisted sense of humor
3. great love of all things one considers geeky and corny
(Star Wars, Harry Potter, Discovery Channel and books!)

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF
1. always complaining
2. afraid to take chances
3. always analyzing

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE
1. Filipino
2. Tagalog
3. born and bred in Manila

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU
1. Growing old alone
2. Being out of place
3. Leading a mundane life

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS
1. H/D
2. Food
3. TV

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW
1. hot pants
2. sando
3. tsinelas

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS OR MUSICAL ARTISTS
1. bob marley and the wailers
2. brownman revival
3. the beatles

YOUR FAVORITE SONGS
1. Fallin' (Robert Klein, from the play 'They're Playing Our Song')
2. Ikaw (Sharon Cuneta -- Bwhahaha!)
3. Waiting in Vain (Bob Marley)

NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS
1. bazaar, business
2. Get with the Program! by Bob Greene
3. learn a new language (French or Spanish)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP
(bakit di sinagutan to ha, pare?)
1. long conversations of the serious and the mundane
2. independence and dependence
3. cuddling and space

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE (in no particular order)
1. I'm not worried about getting older
2. i want to have a baby
3. i'm on the verge of losing hope on love

THREE THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU
1. smarts
2. smile
3. stand

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO
1. patiently wait
2. not complain until i get what i want
3. act

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES
1. reading
2. talking
3. daydreaming

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW
1. uhm -- can i write it here?
2. be somewhere out of the country
3. eat chocolate

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING
1. Special Education teacher
2. UN Volunteer
3. Freelance writer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION TO
(only three?!? well, it's time to cheat!)
1. Europe (London, Paris, Rome, Madrid)
2. Asia (Ulaan Baatar, Beijing, Kathmandu, Phnom Penh, Phuket)
3. all over the Philippines (Batanes, Palawan, etc.)

THREE KID'S NAMES (in the slim eventuality that there would be...)
1. Jamie
2. Emily (for my favorite poet)
3. Marley

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE
1. travel the world
2. have a wild, passionate affair
3. publish a book

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL
1. i over-analyze
2. going gaga over gorgeous guys
3. emphatize with Carrie Bradshaw's existential angsts

THREE WAYS I AM STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY
1. have commitment issues
2. judge a date by looks alone
3. i don't have my nails manicured regularly

THREE PEOPLE YOU WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ
1. RV
2. Bespren and Ria Girl (cheating na naman ba?)
3. Liza

Friday, August 26, 2005

Time Flies

I can't believe it's almost a year since last Christmas season which I consider my best last 3 months. From October to December, I had a blast. All the good news for my birthday, passing the LET, getting the breast exam results, and well, satisfying a curiosity, to traveling with Liza and Mommy Norms to Ilocos (our Pagudpud, Laoag and Vigan amazing race), my family going to Bohol and ending the year with Oca's wedding with Pare, Jody and Kit in Bicol.

Gah.

I think this year's upcoming Christmas season also promises to be eventful. Here are some shots I'm hoping I'll have before the year is over.
























My year wouldn't be complete if I don't get to visit some place in my own country. I've visited nearly every province in the Philippines, but I haven't documented my trips with photos. Alas, they were just stuck here in my memory.


I'd like some photos like these... (If our bazaar adventures will bear fruits, I'd drag Liza, or other friends to visit Coron or Banaue. Banaue is relatively cheaper, and we can always sidetracked to Sagada for a bonus sight.)















(just take a look at those islands in Coron...)

The best picture I've seen of Sagada was a picture from Lonely Planet. One of their slideshow presentation when you click on the Philippines. It was great. It reminded me of other very good Sagada pictures I've seen during a mountaineering group's photo exhibit in Glorietta. All misty and mysterious. They've changed the pictures in Lonely Planet already, and I'm still looking for that one. I guess I can steal some pictures of Mt. Pulag from the Cordilleras...

So many places to go, so little money - the neverending lament of lovers of travels. *sigh*

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

In Limbo

Since I made it a point not to whine too much in my blogs, I can't seem to write anything anymore. It seems my life is made up of whines. But anyway, this month will be just like June I supposed. Just full of daily living, boring but it's my life. No major stories, no major events, just school, driving, thinking, Harry and Draco, stressing over videos for friend's wedding and meeting up old friends.

I guess there's a story in there...meeting old friends. I'll write it tomorrow. Right now, I'm just flabbergasted to find out that I don't write these days as much as I did before. I don't know what's happening. Either my life stood still, or it's just endlessly repeating what's happening in a day, over and over again. Like Groundhog's Day.

Oh well.

I have a full night ahead of me tomorrow. See? My nights are sometimes full but most often than not, I just stare at the computer or lie down, reading a book or watching tv, while Time passes by.

I'm torn between wanting an exciting life, and utterly afraid of leaving this routinary days I keep having. I'm always like this. Nothing's happening. No stories. Not sad, not happy.

Torn.

In limbo.

Friday, August 5, 2005

Gaiman

I saw a quote of Neil Gaiman in several livejournals I've been frequenting and so I was swept again with feelings of regret that I didn't get to see him when he visited Manila. So what else can I do? I just want to make this entry all about his quotes, for all of you to see the gift of Neil Gaiman's writings.

And.. this does make a very good advertisement for you to buy those Gaiman books. Although I dearly wish I'm rich so I can buy the Sandman series. With a title like "The Sandman", it clearly defies imagination on how rich and fantastic and great the writings on those graphic novels must be. Gah! But I added my own favorite quotes from my favorite Gaiman books at the bottom.

Okay, this is my pathetic and vain attempt to put the genius of Neil Gaiman in a bottle -- or erm, a page of a blog entry which clearly couldn't be done and shouldn't be done. But well, that's it...just a vain, pathetic attempt. Forgive me, if you will.


*my favorites are, quite obviously, in italics. A quote to remember, so you can spout it to someone else when you feel like it...."Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?..." Tee hee.

---------


"It does help, to be a writer, to have the sort of crazed ego that doesn't allow for failure. The best reaction to a rejection slip is a sort of wild-eyed madness, an evil grin, and sitting yourself in front of the keyboard muttering "Okay, you bastards. Try rejecting this!" and then writing something so unbelievably brilliant that all other writers will disembowel themselves with their pens upon reading it, because there's nothing left to write." --Neil Gaiman

"Firstly, there is no such person as Death. Second, Death's this tall guy with a bone face, like a skeletal monk, with a scythe and an hourglass and a big white horse and a penchant for playing chess with Scandinavians. Third, he doesn't exist either." -- Neil Gaiman

"It is a fool's prerogative to utter truths that no one else will speak." -- Neil Gaiman

"We all not only could know everything. We do. We just tell ourselves we don't to make it all bearable." -- Neil Gaiman

"This is a work of fiction. All the characters in it, human and otherwise, are imaginary, excepting only certain of the fairy folk, whom it might be unwise to offend by casting doubts on their existence. Or lack thereof. " -- Neil Gaiman

"You get what anyone gets -- a lifetime." - Death, Sandman, Neil Gaiman

"God does not play dice with the universe: He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players,* to being involved in an obscure and complex version of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time. * i.e., everybody." - Good Omens , Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett, In Religion

"Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love."-- Neil Gaiman, In Love

"When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better.'It's all right' we whisper, 'I'm here, I love you.' and we lie: 'I'll never leave you.' For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad." ---
Neil Gaiman, In Literature

"Life is a disease, sexually transmitted and fatal." --- Neil Gaiman, In Philosophy

"Sometimes I suspect that we build our traps ourselves, then we back into them, pretending amazment the while." --- Neil Gaiman, In Literature

"Charitably... I think... sometimes, perhaps , one must change or die. And, in the end,there were,perhaps limits to how much he could let himself change." --- Neil Gaiman, Lucien/The Sandman

"Writers are liars my dear, surely you know that by now?" --- Neil Gaiman, 'Sandman: Dream County'

"But he did not understand the price. Mortals never do. They only see the prize.Their heart's desire,their dream... But the price of getting what you want is getting what you once wanted.
--- Neil Gaiman, Dream/The Sandman

"Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot." --- Neil Gaiman, Sandman

"It has always been the prerogative of children and half wits to point out that the emperor has no clothes. But the half wit remains a half wit and the emperor remains an emperor." --- Neil Gaiman, The Sandman

"So it will be miracles and wonders that you would be after is it?... Oh very well...a miracle, a wonder. Tomorrow, you shall attain your Heart's Desire." -- Star Dust, Neil Gaiman

"Have been unavoidably detained by the world. Expect us when you see us." -- Star Dust, Neil Gaiman

"Adventures are all very well in their place, he thought, but there's a lot to be said for regular meals and freedom from pain." -- Star Dust, Neil Gaiman

"...the room was a tiny empire of lost property...This is his real domain...Things lost. Things forgotten." -- Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman

"Have you ever got everything you ever wanted? And then realized it wasn't what you wanted at all?" --- Neverwhere, Neil Gaiman


---------------

There is more. Lots, lots more, I'm sure. As Gaiman, as I see it, tends to drop his many nuggets of beautiful quotes scattered all around, in between lines, over and sideways, in many paragraphs of his novels. Well, you just got to read them, don't you?