...just want to say that prayers, and wishes do come true. God knows what you really want in life and He'll often surprise you with how much He listens and how much He cares enough to send your way opportunities and chances at your dreams and wishes. You decide whether to make all of them come true...
Friday, October 29, 2004
Of Gifts and Poetry
...But I love your feet
only because they walked
upon the earth and upon
the wind and upon the waters,
until they found me.
---- Pablo Neruda, The Captain's Verses
I got a wonderful gift last Thursday from RV. Really embarrassed that I forgot to bring my gift for his long ago birthday, I accepted the gift and almost shouted in Greenbelt, full of glee when I saw that it was a book. (Yes, a geek, thank you very much.) It was Pablo Neruda's The Captain's Verses.
It was so beautiful it almost rendered me speechless.
Almost.
I have Neruda's other books of poetry and I was so surprised that RV knows (although I think he knows everything about me) that I liked poetry and so amazed that he gave me a book that I don’t have yet. I like poetry more than I like novels, classics, and drama. It's there at the top of my list. In my room, I have a section where I put my favorite books, and half of them are poetry books. The treasured books include Dickinson's Complete Collection of poems, Millay's Collection of Poems, Jewel's poetry, Shakespeare's Sonnets, Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets, and ee cummings collected works of poetry. I love them all and more than any other book in my library, these are read over and over again.
I remember feeling like this when Remcy gave me Emily Dickinson's poetry collection. Or when I found the last copy of Millay's in Powerbooks Pasay Road during a sale. It was giddy excitement and profound gratitude to the Lord above for putting exquisite words into the poets' minds to create such beautiful literature. There I was wishing I can find the words that will come out as striking as their poetry.
I love getting books as gifts and I am always touched that a person or a friend knows me well enough to recognize that I’d enjoy a good book more than trinkets or clothes given to me. When Liza told me she found ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’, I drove to her place as soon as possible to get it and thanked her profusely. I received Dogeaters (let’s not mention who gave it to me) and Ria gave me Heartburn. Of course, I’ll be forever thankful to my mother, who bought me so many wonderful books that taught me how to appreciate literature and be among the very rare breed of enthusiastic, voracious readers my generation has.
Poetry though holds a special place in me. I cannot explain it. Novels or fiction takes me to places I can only imagine, or makes me feel things I may not recognized. But poetry heals the hurts of my spirit, and warms my soul. And Neruda’s book is no exception. He is a magnificent poet who can capture the essence of love and of loving: the pain, exquisite pleasure and glorious experience of it all. You can tell that he sees his one true love in another way no human being has seen her. The book truly is a splendid piece of work.
RV said that the book is from his personal collection of Neruda books. I cannot even imagine parting with any of my favorite books, even for a day or two to lend it to someone, let alone giving it as a gift. He’s a much better person than I am, and I’m so glad, and honored that I received such gift. He asked me to take care of it, for it holds a tremendous amount of sentimental value to him. I clutched the book on my chest, and made a promise I will certainly keep.
Yes, RV, I will.
only because they walked
upon the earth and upon
the wind and upon the waters,
until they found me.
---- Pablo Neruda, The Captain's Verses
I got a wonderful gift last Thursday from RV. Really embarrassed that I forgot to bring my gift for his long ago birthday, I accepted the gift and almost shouted in Greenbelt, full of glee when I saw that it was a book. (Yes, a geek, thank you very much.) It was Pablo Neruda's The Captain's Verses.
It was so beautiful it almost rendered me speechless.
Almost.
I have Neruda's other books of poetry and I was so surprised that RV knows (although I think he knows everything about me) that I liked poetry and so amazed that he gave me a book that I don’t have yet. I like poetry more than I like novels, classics, and drama. It's there at the top of my list. In my room, I have a section where I put my favorite books, and half of them are poetry books. The treasured books include Dickinson's Complete Collection of poems, Millay's Collection of Poems, Jewel's poetry, Shakespeare's Sonnets, Neruda's 100 Love Sonnets, and ee cummings collected works of poetry. I love them all and more than any other book in my library, these are read over and over again.
I remember feeling like this when Remcy gave me Emily Dickinson's poetry collection. Or when I found the last copy of Millay's in Powerbooks Pasay Road during a sale. It was giddy excitement and profound gratitude to the Lord above for putting exquisite words into the poets' minds to create such beautiful literature. There I was wishing I can find the words that will come out as striking as their poetry.
I love getting books as gifts and I am always touched that a person or a friend knows me well enough to recognize that I’d enjoy a good book more than trinkets or clothes given to me. When Liza told me she found ‘I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings’, I drove to her place as soon as possible to get it and thanked her profusely. I received Dogeaters (let’s not mention who gave it to me) and Ria gave me Heartburn. Of course, I’ll be forever thankful to my mother, who bought me so many wonderful books that taught me how to appreciate literature and be among the very rare breed of enthusiastic, voracious readers my generation has.
Poetry though holds a special place in me. I cannot explain it. Novels or fiction takes me to places I can only imagine, or makes me feel things I may not recognized. But poetry heals the hurts of my spirit, and warms my soul. And Neruda’s book is no exception. He is a magnificent poet who can capture the essence of love and of loving: the pain, exquisite pleasure and glorious experience of it all. You can tell that he sees his one true love in another way no human being has seen her. The book truly is a splendid piece of work.
RV said that the book is from his personal collection of Neruda books. I cannot even imagine parting with any of my favorite books, even for a day or two to lend it to someone, let alone giving it as a gift. He’s a much better person than I am, and I’m so glad, and honored that I received such gift. He asked me to take care of it, for it holds a tremendous amount of sentimental value to him. I clutched the book on my chest, and made a promise I will certainly keep.
Yes, RV, I will.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Conversations
Late night phone conversations prevented me from watching CSI last Wednesday night. It's okay. I like meeting new friends, new people and finding out new things. And I always marvel at how different we all seem to be, yet have so many things in common with other people.
I also get to chat with another friend. As usual, our conversation drifted to her ex boyfriend. And as usual, I'm up to my ears analyzing and second-guessing her feelings and intentions. Sometimes, I just speak the truth, and more often than not, the truth hurts. I don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes, I just cannot help myself whenever I get into my amateur psychologist mode.
Then, Thursday night, I get to see two old friends, Vane and RV after more than six months of not seeing each other. I thought Vane is going to bring her current flame, and since RV always brings his, I expected to be the fifth wheel. I don't mind. I used to think I will mind, and will feel uncomfortable and all, but I think my friends know me better than I know myself. RV said I could never be fifth wheel; because I thrive on these cozy get-togethers and conversations over coffee, and that I do always find a way to be the center of their attention.
Well, I did find a way. And even though Vane didn't bring her boyfriend, I don't think I'll be uncomfortable. Although part of me wish I can also have someone to cozy up to while talking to my friends, reminiscing about college days and thinking of future plans, I am just not the type to dwell on negative issues when I can forget about it for a little while and just enjoy the company. Once a month is enough time to think about issues, and other negative things. Besides, I'm already a bit of a hypochondriac; I think that's enough panicking for one person.
I did have a story to tell them and I did become the center of attention. As predicted, RV understood, as long as I don’t get hurt emotionally, or get blindsided in the feelings department, or that I’m not full of regrets, then it’s okay with him. When one wonders how a girl and a guy can talk about anything and everything, then he should hear RV and I.
We don’t get to see each other a lot, but as RV said, that’s the beauty of our friendship. When we see each other, we talked as if no 6 months have gone by. The best thing about it is that we get to tell each other six months worth of stories, I get to tease RV, and RV gets to lecture me.
Ah, I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything in this world.
I also get to chat with another friend. As usual, our conversation drifted to her ex boyfriend. And as usual, I'm up to my ears analyzing and second-guessing her feelings and intentions. Sometimes, I just speak the truth, and more often than not, the truth hurts. I don't mean to be hurtful, but sometimes, I just cannot help myself whenever I get into my amateur psychologist mode.
Then, Thursday night, I get to see two old friends, Vane and RV after more than six months of not seeing each other. I thought Vane is going to bring her current flame, and since RV always brings his, I expected to be the fifth wheel. I don't mind. I used to think I will mind, and will feel uncomfortable and all, but I think my friends know me better than I know myself. RV said I could never be fifth wheel; because I thrive on these cozy get-togethers and conversations over coffee, and that I do always find a way to be the center of their attention.
Well, I did find a way. And even though Vane didn't bring her boyfriend, I don't think I'll be uncomfortable. Although part of me wish I can also have someone to cozy up to while talking to my friends, reminiscing about college days and thinking of future plans, I am just not the type to dwell on negative issues when I can forget about it for a little while and just enjoy the company. Once a month is enough time to think about issues, and other negative things. Besides, I'm already a bit of a hypochondriac; I think that's enough panicking for one person.
I did have a story to tell them and I did become the center of attention. As predicted, RV understood, as long as I don’t get hurt emotionally, or get blindsided in the feelings department, or that I’m not full of regrets, then it’s okay with him. When one wonders how a girl and a guy can talk about anything and everything, then he should hear RV and I.
We don’t get to see each other a lot, but as RV said, that’s the beauty of our friendship. When we see each other, we talked as if no 6 months have gone by. The best thing about it is that we get to tell each other six months worth of stories, I get to tease RV, and RV gets to lecture me.
Ah, I wouldn't trade our friendship for anything in this world.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Best Friends
I feel like I've been talking the whole day yesterday and I was at my element.
Yesterday, I sent a text message to Ria, who, upon hearing from me, called up to chat. We talked for a while, then after we put the phone down, I decided to go online, only to find Remcy online after how many months of being incommunicado. Of course, we talked for over an hour. It was a whirlwind of news updates, and I just felt great at having to talk it over with them. I haven't heard Ria's voice in more than a year (I think) and haven't talked to Rems in months. But every time those words appear in the Messenger, I can almost hear their voices, their facial expressions and their smiles and I hope they can hear and see me too.
Our greatest regret is that we don't have a picture of the three of us together before we went to our different posts in the world. Ria in Canada, Remcy in Jersey, and me, here in our Houston base (Manila).
I missed my best friends and I'm so glad I get to talk to them both yesterday. People have different types of relationships and have different kinds of friendships with their friends. We are the kinds who talk to each other about anything and everything. No topic is taboo. Even if we feel like other people will judge our stories, we get to tell each other. I, for one, am a drama queen who always has a thousand thoughts in her mind and not a single one of them makes sense. Remcy makes sense of them for me. And Ria will empathize, agonize or be giddy and excited with me. And I so miss the times when I can just grab the phone and ask them to meet me for coffee after work. But now, that we don't get to do that, we get to cherish the times that we actually do talk.
We don’t have wild parties together; we get to be wild with other people. We don’t have insane shenanigans; we do it with other people. What we do share are the more important things, heartbreaks, break ups, falling in love, falling out of love, letting go, just doing it, hopes and dreams, laughter and smiles, all talked over, analyzed thoroughly, turn inside out, upside down, over cups of coffee.
Maybe someday we’ll get to have our picture taken to show our future children about how some friendships are resilient, and lasting and, how despite time and distance, will seem to last forever.
* * *
I have a handful of best friends, or my closest of friends, 5 of them I knew from way back, my old friends. Aside from Ria and Remcy, I have Skee. Skee is the older sister I never have. One who will always remind me of what’s important and to always go back to the Lord. One, who will be understanding and will listen but will tell me to be grateful, and sometimes to even say sorry to Him for the things I’ve done.
I also talked to Skee yesterday, after Remcy. We talked about news, and how I should already prepare for the retreat she invited me to attend on December. I’m looking forward to that retreat and knowing that Skee will be there makes me feel a whole lot better.
* * *
For the record, among my 5 old friends, 2 of them are guys - Pare and RV. I didn’t get to talk to them yesterday. I always get to chat with Pare over YM, and I get to read his blogs and he gets to read mine. Even though he’s in Davao, and I’m in Manila, we always keep in touch when it matters.
RV, on the other hand, is a character worth another whole entry. I so love talking about RV maybe because he’s so much like me more than any of my other friends put together. It’s like talking about myself all over again! Maybe someday I’ll get to write one entry each for these special people. One for Remcy, one for Ria, for Skee, one for Pare, and one for RV. Then, maybe another series for my other close friends.
But then again, as time goes by, maybe I will not write their stories, for those are theirs to tell. Instead, you’ll see and hear from them by many eternal prints they leave in mine.
Yesterday, I sent a text message to Ria, who, upon hearing from me, called up to chat. We talked for a while, then after we put the phone down, I decided to go online, only to find Remcy online after how many months of being incommunicado. Of course, we talked for over an hour. It was a whirlwind of news updates, and I just felt great at having to talk it over with them. I haven't heard Ria's voice in more than a year (I think) and haven't talked to Rems in months. But every time those words appear in the Messenger, I can almost hear their voices, their facial expressions and their smiles and I hope they can hear and see me too.
Our greatest regret is that we don't have a picture of the three of us together before we went to our different posts in the world. Ria in Canada, Remcy in Jersey, and me, here in our Houston base (Manila).
I missed my best friends and I'm so glad I get to talk to them both yesterday. People have different types of relationships and have different kinds of friendships with their friends. We are the kinds who talk to each other about anything and everything. No topic is taboo. Even if we feel like other people will judge our stories, we get to tell each other. I, for one, am a drama queen who always has a thousand thoughts in her mind and not a single one of them makes sense. Remcy makes sense of them for me. And Ria will empathize, agonize or be giddy and excited with me. And I so miss the times when I can just grab the phone and ask them to meet me for coffee after work. But now, that we don't get to do that, we get to cherish the times that we actually do talk.
We don’t have wild parties together; we get to be wild with other people. We don’t have insane shenanigans; we do it with other people. What we do share are the more important things, heartbreaks, break ups, falling in love, falling out of love, letting go, just doing it, hopes and dreams, laughter and smiles, all talked over, analyzed thoroughly, turn inside out, upside down, over cups of coffee.
Maybe someday we’ll get to have our picture taken to show our future children about how some friendships are resilient, and lasting and, how despite time and distance, will seem to last forever.
* * *
I have a handful of best friends, or my closest of friends, 5 of them I knew from way back, my old friends. Aside from Ria and Remcy, I have Skee. Skee is the older sister I never have. One who will always remind me of what’s important and to always go back to the Lord. One, who will be understanding and will listen but will tell me to be grateful, and sometimes to even say sorry to Him for the things I’ve done.
I also talked to Skee yesterday, after Remcy. We talked about news, and how I should already prepare for the retreat she invited me to attend on December. I’m looking forward to that retreat and knowing that Skee will be there makes me feel a whole lot better.
* * *
For the record, among my 5 old friends, 2 of them are guys - Pare and RV. I didn’t get to talk to them yesterday. I always get to chat with Pare over YM, and I get to read his blogs and he gets to read mine. Even though he’s in Davao, and I’m in Manila, we always keep in touch when it matters.
RV, on the other hand, is a character worth another whole entry. I so love talking about RV maybe because he’s so much like me more than any of my other friends put together. It’s like talking about myself all over again! Maybe someday I’ll get to write one entry each for these special people. One for Remcy, one for Ria, for Skee, one for Pare, and one for RV. Then, maybe another series for my other close friends.
But then again, as time goes by, maybe I will not write their stories, for those are theirs to tell. Instead, you’ll see and hear from them by many eternal prints they leave in mine.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Fairy Tales
I used to believe in fairy tales. Girls often do. When we were young, we likened ourselves to the young princesses, the damsels in distress, being rescued by the gallant Prince Charming, or the mighty, and brave knights of old. We have stars in our eyes, and hopeful love in our hearts. We believe in romance and of happily ever after. We have high hopes for ourselves and for our life.
Then, we grew older.
It changes things, growing older. We experienced all the nasty things that can only happen to adults. Rejection, disappointments, broken hearts, and unfulfilled promises. We become jaded. We expect the worst things to happen and that's what we often get. We fear rejection, and it often paralyzes us into inaction. We lower our expectations, and we have fewer hopes, for ourselves and for our life.
But the great thing about growing up is is that we learn constantly. Learning from our mistakes, learning to get up after we fall, learning how to let go, learning to love without losing oneself, and learning how to fly, without losing sight of the ground.
I learned how to follow my dreams. I learned how to cope with rejections, disappointments and loneliness. I learned not to regret but to move forward. I learned how to celebrate God's blessings. And I learned that I didn't have lower expectations and standards, just different hopes.
I may not believe in fairy tales anymore, but I still believe that we can have our own happy endings. We just have to make it. And with God's help, it just might be possible.
Then, we grew older.
It changes things, growing older. We experienced all the nasty things that can only happen to adults. Rejection, disappointments, broken hearts, and unfulfilled promises. We become jaded. We expect the worst things to happen and that's what we often get. We fear rejection, and it often paralyzes us into inaction. We lower our expectations, and we have fewer hopes, for ourselves and for our life.
But the great thing about growing up is is that we learn constantly. Learning from our mistakes, learning to get up after we fall, learning how to let go, learning to love without losing oneself, and learning how to fly, without losing sight of the ground.
I learned how to follow my dreams. I learned how to cope with rejections, disappointments and loneliness. I learned not to regret but to move forward. I learned how to celebrate God's blessings. And I learned that I didn't have lower expectations and standards, just different hopes.
I may not believe in fairy tales anymore, but I still believe that we can have our own happy endings. We just have to make it. And with God's help, it just might be possible.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Musings
Every breath, every prayer, and every day I spent living, I pretend that I know the purpose of my life. That is, to live, trusting Him all the way. But alas, I'm an ignorant fool. I cannot even begin to comprehend what goes on His mind, His heart and what He wants to do with my life. I pretend that I have control over it, that I can choose what to do with it, but it all depends on whether or not He allows those things to happen to me.
And knowing these things makes it harder for me to swallow the bitter pill. I've made some decisions that effected major changes in my life, and yet it somehow leads me to this path, questioning my very existence and dwelling on the point of what am I going to do next. And I'm thinking, why did He even allowed those to happen if it will only lead me to all these pointless musings of my very examined life.
I'm confused. I have all these plans going through my head. There are at least 5 different roads that I could take and I'm preparing to travel three roads, just in case. When did I learn how to prepare for a 'just in case' scenario, I wouldn't know. But my situation now calls for it, and what the heck, I needed a respite from being a bum before I start loving it too much to return to the land of the working and independent.
Now, I wonder, among these five roads, which I know He presented to me, am I the one going to make the decision which road to take? Or will He push me along the right one?
I'm now praying for Him to choose for me. As I know He usually does.
And knowing these things makes it harder for me to swallow the bitter pill. I've made some decisions that effected major changes in my life, and yet it somehow leads me to this path, questioning my very existence and dwelling on the point of what am I going to do next. And I'm thinking, why did He even allowed those to happen if it will only lead me to all these pointless musings of my very examined life.
I'm confused. I have all these plans going through my head. There are at least 5 different roads that I could take and I'm preparing to travel three roads, just in case. When did I learn how to prepare for a 'just in case' scenario, I wouldn't know. But my situation now calls for it, and what the heck, I needed a respite from being a bum before I start loving it too much to return to the land of the working and independent.
Now, I wonder, among these five roads, which I know He presented to me, am I the one going to make the decision which road to take? Or will He push me along the right one?
I'm now praying for Him to choose for me. As I know He usually does.
Monday, October 18, 2004
To Be....
To conform, or not to conform.
To follow the road everyone else passes through, or to blaze your way and make your own path. To go with the flow, or to pit your strength and swim against the tide.
To wear the latest trends, or be your own style icon. To eat what is served, or to heed your hunger. To climb the corporate ladder, or follow your own dreams.
To laugh along or make your own jokes. To make friends, or be a friend. To be with the one you love or go with the one who loves you. To stay and be sad, or to leave and be happy. To be content with what you have or to always crave for more.
To be like everyone else, or to be your own person.
Sometimes we have to understand that leaving does not mean giving up but letting go. We have to learn how to love without losing ourselves. And that we like to be unique and different, but sometimes, we are just like everyone else.
To follow the road everyone else passes through, or to blaze your way and make your own path. To go with the flow, or to pit your strength and swim against the tide.
To wear the latest trends, or be your own style icon. To eat what is served, or to heed your hunger. To climb the corporate ladder, or follow your own dreams.
To laugh along or make your own jokes. To make friends, or be a friend. To be with the one you love or go with the one who loves you. To stay and be sad, or to leave and be happy. To be content with what you have or to always crave for more.
To be like everyone else, or to be your own person.
Sometimes we have to understand that leaving does not mean giving up but letting go. We have to learn how to love without losing ourselves. And that we like to be unique and different, but sometimes, we are just like everyone else.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
Wednesday, October 13, 2004
Time Bomb
there's a clock
t i c k i n g
inside ME
ready to go
off
anytimeanywhereanyhow;
no matter what
no matter how hard
i try to stop
Stop. Run! Fast!
Faster still.
do something.
it'll go anytime now
and there will be
no more
TIME
left
for me.
t i c k i n g
inside ME
ready to go
off
anytimeanywhereanyhow;
no matter what
no matter how hard
i try to stop
Stop. Run! Fast!
Faster still.
do something.
it'll go anytime now
and there will be
no more
TIME
left
for me.
Monday, October 11, 2004
A Year In Review
Looking back...
...I finished my education units in order to take the board exams
...Am now a professional teacher (yey!)
...Am closer to my mommy and my sister because I'm not working and we're always hanging out together
...I attend Friday masses regularly, starting out as a novena to request for passing of the boards, but now turns out to be a Friday habit
...Am closer to God spiritually, (I hope next year, in deed as well)
...Still have no one special, frantic, but hoping
...Met a lot of new people, gained some new friends and became less judgmental about people (asus! sana nga...hehe, feeling ko lang)
...Instead of losing more pounds, gained about ten pounds. Gah!
...Did not learn any new skill, but learned more words (via daily vocab subscription) and read a lot of stories
...Did not go to a new place, but learned so much more about other culture. Some of my pre conceived notions were negated completely. And all via internet.
...Daydreamed a lot, should daydream less and learn more.
...Kept in touch with important friends, will keep in mind to get in touch with old friends.
A year of personal development, emotionally, spiritually, but alas, not physically (hehe). A year of just letting it be, going with the flow. A year of anxious and frantic searching.
I'm just praying the following year, I will be a lot more trusting in Him. No more panicking, letting it be, but also taking part.
Happy Birthday to Me!
...I finished my education units in order to take the board exams
...Am now a professional teacher (yey!)
...Am closer to my mommy and my sister because I'm not working and we're always hanging out together
...I attend Friday masses regularly, starting out as a novena to request for passing of the boards, but now turns out to be a Friday habit
...Am closer to God spiritually, (I hope next year, in deed as well)
...Still have no one special, frantic, but hoping
...Met a lot of new people, gained some new friends and became less judgmental about people (asus! sana nga...hehe, feeling ko lang)
...Instead of losing more pounds, gained about ten pounds. Gah!
...Did not learn any new skill, but learned more words (via daily vocab subscription) and read a lot of stories
...Did not go to a new place, but learned so much more about other culture. Some of my pre conceived notions were negated completely. And all via internet.
...Daydreamed a lot, should daydream less and learn more.
...Kept in touch with important friends, will keep in mind to get in touch with old friends.
A year of personal development, emotionally, spiritually, but alas, not physically (hehe). A year of just letting it be, going with the flow. A year of anxious and frantic searching.
I'm just praying the following year, I will be a lot more trusting in Him. No more panicking, letting it be, but also taking part.
Happy Birthday to Me!
Saturday, October 9, 2004
Early Morning
7:00 am
Bedroom, Malabon
Sometimes I sleep early and woke up later than my usual 7:30 biological clock wake up call. Sometimes I sleep late and woke up early. This time is the latter. I cannot comprehend why am I already awake some thirty minutes ago, an hour before my usual waking up time.
So what's a girl to do?
AFter surfing the tv, and found it lacking of interesting programs, I decided to just connect to the net. After all, the world wide web never sleeps.
Ah, I'm just babbling about anything, because my brain is still not functioning before seven thirty.
Like, I had a great time with pare, as always, when we see each other. It's just the comfort of being with old friends. And also the inexplicable want of not seeing Johnny Depp killing people again, but he does it so well, these weird, quirky characters, that I'm sure he'll be doing it again. But I still want the Johnny Depp in Chocolat. Hmmm...
Oh, people in the house are already waking up. It's nearing seven thirty then. Yey, I can already taste the pandesal and my early morning cup of coffee.
Gtg.
Bedroom, Malabon
Sometimes I sleep early and woke up later than my usual 7:30 biological clock wake up call. Sometimes I sleep late and woke up early. This time is the latter. I cannot comprehend why am I already awake some thirty minutes ago, an hour before my usual waking up time.
So what's a girl to do?
AFter surfing the tv, and found it lacking of interesting programs, I decided to just connect to the net. After all, the world wide web never sleeps.
Ah, I'm just babbling about anything, because my brain is still not functioning before seven thirty.
Like, I had a great time with pare, as always, when we see each other. It's just the comfort of being with old friends. And also the inexplicable want of not seeing Johnny Depp killing people again, but he does it so well, these weird, quirky characters, that I'm sure he'll be doing it again. But I still want the Johnny Depp in Chocolat. Hmmm...
Oh, people in the house are already waking up. It's nearing seven thirty then. Yey, I can already taste the pandesal and my early morning cup of coffee.
Gtg.
Thursday, October 7, 2004
Ordinary Life
I'm just so lazy these days. I'd just like to curl up under my blanket and sleep or daydream the day away. I want to go out and help and volunteer on some organization, but it will rain and there goes the plan, and the desire will ebbed a little.
Anyway, am not just lazy in those aspects. Even writing as well, but I'd like to continue taking notes on my so-called life and here's the result...
Mundane thoughts on my Ordinary Life
...had a dream last night. Remcy and Ria were running in front of me. We're in a sort of a deserted hallway of a building, and then they smiled at me and entered a room, with double doors. I don't know why, but I can't enter the room. I seem to think I need a ticket or something, but Remcy and Ria didn't have any tickets. I was on the verge of tears, when so many people arrived and began entering the room one by one, leaving me behind, alone, in the corridor. Hah, it doesn't take a genius psychologist to analyze that dream of mine!
...my patience for my nephew and niece and my grandmother should be my benchmark on how patient I will become when I finally teach. I'll not be a very patient teacher, then.
...I like driving. I like making asinine comments about how insane Filipino drivers are when I'm driving. I like to think about stuff and ponder on important things in life when driving. What is it about driving that calms me so? I don't know, and I don't want to think about how dangerous it is to think about other things while maneuvering my car in the busy streets of the Metro.
...I can't seem to lose any weight, even a single pound when I try so hard, even starving myself. But when I slipped up, ate a little dinner, I gained two pounds. Go figure.
...Yesterday, I drove my lola again to the hospital. And she stayed the whole day (and will stay for the next two weeks) with us. I wonder how many comments about finding a man, saving enough money and comparison to my cousins will I have to endure before I lose my patience. Hmmm...
...it's Jody's birthday today. My birthday in a few days and the sum of our birthdays is my Pare's birthday. Skee, my sister in law and Rhea's birthdays are also all coming up. Kind of the birthday month for me. It's a mystery why I'm so bad at remembering other people's birthday, but remember every birthday during the month of October.
...Skee was surprised to find out I have perverted thoughts on Harry Potter. But here I thought, why not? Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton will bring out the pervy thoughts out of any single, repressed, 28-yr old women. Okay, okay...maybe it's just me. But I'm not convinced.
...Just to reiterate, good men are hard to find. Good men, who are not gay or married, are harder to find. Good men, who are not gay, or married, or planning to be gay or married are hardest to find.
I'd better shut up, go to sleep and rest my brain before it explodes with these crazy, nonsensical thoughts running around inside it.
4 more days to go...I'll be 28.
23 days to go...it'll be November.
77 days to go, before Christmas.
83 days to go, and it's 2005.
My, my, time flies by so fast when you're not doing anything.
Anyway, am not just lazy in those aspects. Even writing as well, but I'd like to continue taking notes on my so-called life and here's the result...
Mundane thoughts on my Ordinary Life
...had a dream last night. Remcy and Ria were running in front of me. We're in a sort of a deserted hallway of a building, and then they smiled at me and entered a room, with double doors. I don't know why, but I can't enter the room. I seem to think I need a ticket or something, but Remcy and Ria didn't have any tickets. I was on the verge of tears, when so many people arrived and began entering the room one by one, leaving me behind, alone, in the corridor. Hah, it doesn't take a genius psychologist to analyze that dream of mine!
...my patience for my nephew and niece and my grandmother should be my benchmark on how patient I will become when I finally teach. I'll not be a very patient teacher, then.
...I like driving. I like making asinine comments about how insane Filipino drivers are when I'm driving. I like to think about stuff and ponder on important things in life when driving. What is it about driving that calms me so? I don't know, and I don't want to think about how dangerous it is to think about other things while maneuvering my car in the busy streets of the Metro.
...I can't seem to lose any weight, even a single pound when I try so hard, even starving myself. But when I slipped up, ate a little dinner, I gained two pounds. Go figure.
...Yesterday, I drove my lola again to the hospital. And she stayed the whole day (and will stay for the next two weeks) with us. I wonder how many comments about finding a man, saving enough money and comparison to my cousins will I have to endure before I lose my patience. Hmmm...
...it's Jody's birthday today. My birthday in a few days and the sum of our birthdays is my Pare's birthday. Skee, my sister in law and Rhea's birthdays are also all coming up. Kind of the birthday month for me. It's a mystery why I'm so bad at remembering other people's birthday, but remember every birthday during the month of October.
...Skee was surprised to find out I have perverted thoughts on Harry Potter. But here I thought, why not? Daniel Radcliffe and Tom Felton will bring out the pervy thoughts out of any single, repressed, 28-yr old women. Okay, okay...maybe it's just me. But I'm not convinced.
...Just to reiterate, good men are hard to find. Good men, who are not gay or married, are harder to find. Good men, who are not gay, or married, or planning to be gay or married are hardest to find.
I'd better shut up, go to sleep and rest my brain before it explodes with these crazy, nonsensical thoughts running around inside it.
4 more days to go...I'll be 28.
23 days to go...it'll be November.
77 days to go, before Christmas.
83 days to go, and it's 2005.
My, my, time flies by so fast when you're not doing anything.
Wednesday, October 6, 2004
Alive and Kicking
A red letter day.
Had a hard time going to sleep last night, because my mom said the results for the LET will be published in the newspapers the next day.
Slept late, woke up early. Went down for breakfast. Munched on my first pandesal, sipped my coffee and waited for the newspaper to arrive. Newspaper arrived (Manila Bulletin) and sister looked at the names.
A frown. Oh, that's Elementary teachers.
Went to the next section. And there it is. What I've been waiting for, holding my breath for, and praying for...
The Smile.
Ate, you passed!
Thank you, Lord. You always give me the nicest birthday presents. Not only am I still alive, I am also kicking.
*wink* I'll be waiting for the answer to my third, last, and rather desperate prayer.
Got to go now...I'm tired because drove to Makati with mom and sis this morning, seeming to have an abundant energy. Went to the bank, then to Glorietta, and lastly to Citibank. I ate a lot during lunch (thinking that this day is special and all calorie intake today will be null and void and won't go directly to arms and thighs, as per usual), picked up my sister-in-law, then, met Skee for dinner at Chili's (is that the correct spelling?) and ate a lot again.
But can't let this day pass without giving one blog to thank Him again...and again.
Still have to read H/D, watch Jay Leno, Blind Date, 5th Wheel, and Conan. Then, thank Him again.
Ordinary things in an extraordinary day. God's way of sending His message to us everyday.
Had a hard time going to sleep last night, because my mom said the results for the LET will be published in the newspapers the next day.
Slept late, woke up early. Went down for breakfast. Munched on my first pandesal, sipped my coffee and waited for the newspaper to arrive. Newspaper arrived (Manila Bulletin) and sister looked at the names.
A frown. Oh, that's Elementary teachers.
Went to the next section. And there it is. What I've been waiting for, holding my breath for, and praying for...
The Smile.
Ate, you passed!
Thank you, Lord. You always give me the nicest birthday presents. Not only am I still alive, I am also kicking.
*wink* I'll be waiting for the answer to my third, last, and rather desperate prayer.
Got to go now...I'm tired because drove to Makati with mom and sis this morning, seeming to have an abundant energy. Went to the bank, then to Glorietta, and lastly to Citibank. I ate a lot during lunch (thinking that this day is special and all calorie intake today will be null and void and won't go directly to arms and thighs, as per usual), picked up my sister-in-law, then, met Skee for dinner at Chili's (is that the correct spelling?) and ate a lot again.
But can't let this day pass without giving one blog to thank Him again...and again.
Still have to read H/D, watch Jay Leno, Blind Date, 5th Wheel, and Conan. Then, thank Him again.
Ordinary things in an extraordinary day. God's way of sending His message to us everyday.
Sunday, October 3, 2004
Global
Chatting in YM has given me a chance to meet new people (and also diss more of them, but that is not kind of me, so we'll not talk about it), and make new friends. I know it sounds desperate to some people why people have to resort to the internet to make friends, and since I already have a lot of friends, I shouldn't need anymore, right? Okay, I admit, it's a surefire way to cure loneliness. Instead of just reading harry/draco fics over the internet, I can add making new friends to the list.
One thing I like about all of this is that I get to know about different cultures and also brush up on my knowledge about a lot of other countries. So, today I would like to travel to two countries which are not in everyone's list of travel destinations, but I found extremely fascinating.
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Morocco
Tangier, Casablanca, Marrakesh... just the names of these cities stir a hint of spice in the nostrils. Morocco has been thoroughly mythologised and for good reason. Travellers extol the country's unique living history, its shimmering light and its extraordinary art.
The old romantic notions of a conservative nation steeped in Islamic and feudal history now clangs with a contemporary reality. The medieval labyrinthine medinas of Marrakesh are what Morocco is all about for many, but don't be surprised to hear the shrill ring of a mobile phone or see a sign pointing down some darkened alley to the nearest internet cafe.
Marrakech, Morocco
One of Morocco's most important cultural centres, Marrakesh is a lively former capital famed for its markets and festivals. Its wildly beating heart is the Place Djemaa el-Fna, a huge square in the old city. Rows of open-air food stalls are set up here and mouth-watering aromas fill the air. Jugglers, storytellers, snake charmers, magicians, acrobats and assorted benign lunatics take over the rest of the space. The souqs (markets) here are among the best in Morocco and a large budget hotel strip makes exploring the old city area cheap and easy.
Among the many attractions of the ancient quarter is the rare Almoravid-style Koubba Ba'adiyn mosque annex, the magnificent Koutoubia mosque and the Palais Dar Si Said (Museum of Moroccan Arts). Trains and buses to this inland city run regularly from Casablanca and Rabat.
-------
Cambodia
Ancient temples, empty beaches, mighty rivers, remote forests ... and (outside Angkor) only a handful of tourists. But the word is out - Cambodia has emerged from the decades of war and isolation that made it a byword for atrocities, refugees, poverty and political instability. Those magical Angkor temples are drawing gaping travellers by the busload once more, and Cambodia is well and truly back on the South-East Asian travel map.
Angkor, Cambodia
The celebrated temples of Angkor are Cambodia's greatest tourist attraction. The 100 or so temples are the sacred remains of what was once a much larger administrative and religious centre, and were built between the 9th and 13th centuries to glorify a succession of Khmer kings. The three most magnificent temples are Bayon, Ta Prohm and the immense Angkor Wat.
Most of Angkor was abandoned in the 15th century and the temples were gradually cloaked by forest. The site became the source of scholarly interest in the late-19th century after the publication of Voyage à Siam et dans le Cambodge by French naturalist Henri Mouhot. Efforts were undertaken to clear away the jungle vegetation that threatened to completely destroy the monuments, and restoration continues today.
-------
I know, I know...I'm a little lazy in researching stuff about these places, but I love the brief, lovely description of Lonely Planet about these places and I would love to visit the souks in Marrakech or the temples in Angkor, that I just have to post these and take a mental note to self that if I won millions of pesos, I'll be sure to travel here.
So the connection with chatting? Actually none. I didn't get to talk to anyone from Morocco or Cambodia. But New Delhi isn't really in my list of top 10 places to visit, so there.
One thing I like about all of this is that I get to know about different cultures and also brush up on my knowledge about a lot of other countries. So, today I would like to travel to two countries which are not in everyone's list of travel destinations, but I found extremely fascinating.
-------
Morocco
Tangier, Casablanca, Marrakesh... just the names of these cities stir a hint of spice in the nostrils. Morocco has been thoroughly mythologised and for good reason. Travellers extol the country's unique living history, its shimmering light and its extraordinary art.
The old romantic notions of a conservative nation steeped in Islamic and feudal history now clangs with a contemporary reality. The medieval labyrinthine medinas of Marrakesh are what Morocco is all about for many, but don't be surprised to hear the shrill ring of a mobile phone or see a sign pointing down some darkened alley to the nearest internet cafe.
Marrakech, Morocco
One of Morocco's most important cultural centres, Marrakesh is a lively former capital famed for its markets and festivals. Its wildly beating heart is the Place Djemaa el-Fna, a huge square in the old city. Rows of open-air food stalls are set up here and mouth-watering aromas fill the air. Jugglers, storytellers, snake charmers, magicians, acrobats and assorted benign lunatics take over the rest of the space. The souqs (markets) here are among the best in Morocco and a large budget hotel strip makes exploring the old city area cheap and easy.
Among the many attractions of the ancient quarter is the rare Almoravid-style Koubba Ba'adiyn mosque annex, the magnificent Koutoubia mosque and the Palais Dar Si Said (Museum of Moroccan Arts). Trains and buses to this inland city run regularly from Casablanca and Rabat.
-------
Cambodia
Ancient temples, empty beaches, mighty rivers, remote forests ... and (outside Angkor) only a handful of tourists. But the word is out - Cambodia has emerged from the decades of war and isolation that made it a byword for atrocities, refugees, poverty and political instability. Those magical Angkor temples are drawing gaping travellers by the busload once more, and Cambodia is well and truly back on the South-East Asian travel map.
Angkor, Cambodia
The celebrated temples of Angkor are Cambodia's greatest tourist attraction. The 100 or so temples are the sacred remains of what was once a much larger administrative and religious centre, and were built between the 9th and 13th centuries to glorify a succession of Khmer kings. The three most magnificent temples are Bayon, Ta Prohm and the immense Angkor Wat.
Most of Angkor was abandoned in the 15th century and the temples were gradually cloaked by forest. The site became the source of scholarly interest in the late-19th century after the publication of Voyage à Siam et dans le Cambodge by French naturalist Henri Mouhot. Efforts were undertaken to clear away the jungle vegetation that threatened to completely destroy the monuments, and restoration continues today.
-------
I know, I know...I'm a little lazy in researching stuff about these places, but I love the brief, lovely description of Lonely Planet about these places and I would love to visit the souks in Marrakech or the temples in Angkor, that I just have to post these and take a mental note to self that if I won millions of pesos, I'll be sure to travel here.
So the connection with chatting? Actually none. I didn't get to talk to anyone from Morocco or Cambodia. But New Delhi isn't really in my list of top 10 places to visit, so there.
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